I also work full time and take all my classes online through a state university. I receive no child support from my daughter's father and I feel a little overwhelmed both mentally and financially! I don't want to sacrifice my time with her so I try to get my homework done once she goes to bed, but then it's right back up at 5:30 AM to get her to daycare and me to work. Does anyone have any suggestions or words of encouragement? I keep telling myself that I'm not the first in this situation - but it's still overwhelming. Any tricks for time management? My daughter is 18 months old.
2006-09-02 17:39:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
It's unfortunate that time isn't elastic, but, as Einstein discovered, it just keeps going and going and you never get any little extra bits.
What you are doing is very ambitous, and you are to be commended. You aren't alone -- there are many, many young women in your situation and you are all to be applauded. I know how hard it is to work, study, care for family et al. But when the grind really gets to you (and it will, especially before exams when you're trying to find extra time to study and that's when your daughter will come down with measles or something of the sort) give yourself a mental picture of something you are going to do for yourself when the grind is finished. Maybe it's a holiday that you and your daughter can enjoy together. Maybe it's a day at the spa where you can be pampered and spoiled.
As for time managemenet -- now is the time to prioritize EVERYTHING you do. You don't have to iron sheets and pillowcases. No one will drop dead if there is dust on the window sills. There's nothing wrong with sandwich suppers, if that's all you have time for.
The most important things are: your daughter (but you already know that) your studies (because they will be your means of escaping this situation) and your job (because you still have bills to pay).
Take a little time to go outside and take a walk with your little girl. Play on the swings with her. Then come home refreshed, and do whatever needs to be done. A heavy load like the one you are carrying can be lightened with little bits of time off, even if it's something as simple as going outside and blowing bubbles with your daughter for ten minutes, and it's a great stress reliever for you.
Good luck to you, and you'll make out okay. You'll look back on this one day, and wonder how you did it -- but the bottom line is, you WILL do it.
2006-09-02 17:51:37 · answer #1 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
We are in the same boat. I am a single mum of 2 and am full time in college (16 credit hours thank you). I am fortunate that I don't have to work and do get child support from my kids sperm donors (sarcastic).
I take a class called Academic Skills and it helps those that have been out of school for a while, or those that just need some "academic skills".
Talk with your advisor (if they offer one being your courses are online).
If I were you, and if it's financially feasible, lower your work hours and take advantage of student loans to pay your living expenses (that's what they are there for, just remember, your going to college to get that education that will get you a higher paying job than what you would have if you didn't go to college).
Don't worry about overworking yourself, you'll never pass your classes if your bogged down with work.
Contact your local office of Family Support for child care assistance (if you haven't already). Take advantage of any program you may qualify for and get a hold of child support enforcement if you want the father to pay and he's being a pain in the bum.
Write down an itinerary and make as if you are actually on campus and stick to it as well as you can. Take advantage of the time your daughter is in daycare to study do homework or research. My science professor had us make an itenerary on the second day of class to see where we where spending our time and where we could of improved.
I make sure I am in bed by 10:00pm so I can be well rested for 6:00am. I keep my kids on a schedule, and it's working out very well.
I wish you and your daughter all the best...
2006-09-03 01:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by qwerty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are going through. I was a single mom with 4 kids, ages 12, 11 ,1, and new born. I was working full time during the day, and going to college full time at night. then I had homework, and tons of it. I thought I would die.And to top it all off, I have schizophrenia, so I had I to find time for my appointments at the mental health center where I go. YOU CAN DO IT, I did. It was one of the hardest times of my life. I was dirt poor, overwhelmed, and responsible for 4 children. Many times I felt like giving up. It didn't help that I had alot of people telling me that I'd never do it, and that 4 years was a long time,but guess what? I proved them all wrong.If you don't stick with it now, your life will be a financial struggle forever, and instead of studying, you'll be working 2 jobs just to make ends meet.It really PAYS off in the end. Good Luck, and all the best to you.
2006-09-03 00:59:34 · answer #3 · answered by joojoobii 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there. Every parent feels overwhelmed, and you are working AND going to school, which is an even larger burden. If you are truly overburdened, perhaps take a lighter class load to allow you more time with your daughter next semester, because at this rate, you are increasing your risk of burnout. Keep up the great work, and keep loving your daughter. That is much more important than anything else in life.
2006-09-03 00:49:45 · answer #4 · answered by Law Professor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in that position but fortunately I was able to take my child to study weekends and other classes at uni. I think you will manage admirably. Lots of young people party all night and miss classes and either drop out or just manage to scrape by.
You, on the other hand will probably get all your assignments done on time and score highly on examinations. Have you ever heard the phrase " if you want something done - ask a busy person."
You have the advantage of being able to better manage your time
Good Luck and Best Wishes.
2006-09-03 00:52:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry...i dont really know what to say...but I am nervous about my situation...lol....so I kinda look up to you haha. i am a full time college student and my baby is due in March and My ex bf wont have anything to do with the baby or me...so i understand where your coming from. A teacher I had in high school told me once "This too shall pass." I didnt really understand it at first....but for some reason it just stuck.. Remember Nothing lasts for ever...and you may get into a slump but if you have the will power..youll get out of it. If you wanna talk...you can email me. Good luck!
2006-09-03 00:47:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you can do this. you are just going to have to keep a sane mind. I'm in a similar situation, but no children, but trying to find time to do everything else and go to school full-time. Just remember you are doing this for you and your beautiful little girl. You don't want her to want for nothing. You are her example. Your sacrifices will teach her to go after what she wants. I think you are so strong to balance this out. I don't know if you believe in God or if you are strong in your faith. But if so, ask God to help you balance the four, you, work, baby, and school. He will lead and guide you in the right direction. Anytime you get a free moment, review your notes. When the baby is sleep, study, when she's watching her favorite toons, review, on your break review. And designate one day out of the week to rest, becuz you are juggling alot. Best wishes to you, and remember that you are GOING to make it!
2006-09-03 00:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by MadameJazzy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You arent the first person. I have many friends who did this...
They get burnt out - you are using up your resources and not replacing them - something will give - get help BEFORE you collapse. Get voluteer help, or family counselling help or community service help or relatives or SOMETHING - it is not worth having a mental/ physical breakdown.
One thing that is NOT recorded on your report card is SLEEP.
It is a precious resource, and you are in classes with people who get all the sleep they want - if you loose a bit - say a few hours each day - you will burn out...
Catch the problem BEFORE it is beyond all hope....
Take a weekend off and sleep. Think. Ask for help. Ask people in your area or in your group of friends for help - NOW.... !
2006-09-03 00:49:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think is very difficult but you have to think that your is gonna grow and is gonna come fast and is gonna be more easy she is gonna help you a lot, be patience, you should ask help from somebody close to you
2006-09-03 00:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by dancingwiththestars 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(i am not like you but i understand you because i have a friend just like you.) you must have time for isn't?! well in opinion, i think you should have schedule and a nanny.
2006-09-03 00:43:58 · answer #10 · answered by cool_girl 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋