I get it that those kinds of magazines sell fantasy's, but if they know it hurts our feelings and they don't expect us to look like that, why do they look at it? It tears me apart that I will never look that way. I want to look perfect for my man, but it's impossible to look like an airbrushed picture. I know he may not compare me to it, but I do and it makes me feel horrible. Just for the record, I'm not fat, or ugly, and do almost anything he may want... even without him asking. I am a good wife and mother and I can have an intelligent conversation with him. I just want to understand so it doesn't hurt so much...
2006-09-02 17:34:56 · 14 answers · asked by lynne0101 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Men are very visual creatures and are easily aroused sensually by what they see. Women are naturally more emotionally connected and so for many of us, pictures don't do much for us. Your husband doesn't expect for you to look like an airbrushed picture. He chose you to be the mother of his children, an honor above all else. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're letting yourself fall into a self made trap where you think you are supposed to have beautiful, cherubic noiseless children who wear white, pink and blue, and never get dirty, while your hair looks Pantene perfect, and your body is as nubile as a 16 yr old. That's not reality any more than the pictures your husband looks at in a Playboy magazine. You already know that you are a good wife and a mother, you said so yourself. Pride yourself on the things you do well. My dad bought Playboy's when I was a kid! No man is perfect, cut your hubby some slack. There are many, many other serious problems that you could have. Good luck.
2006-09-02 17:59:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men are visual creatures by nature. You are judging yourself against women who have been airbrushed to perfection, which isn't fair for you to do to yourself, but I can completely understand your feelings. I would say, based upon what you said, that your man loves you and you have nothing to worry about when it comes to infidelity. I'm guessing your man has an attitude like its no big deal? It is a big deal because it hurts you and he should stop being selfish. Maybe there is a middle ground? See how he reacts if you look at naked men. If he can dish it out he should be able to take it, if not you have proven your point. The point is not to get revenge on each other however but maybe, just maybe, your marriage and sex life will improve if you guys found something you could watch and get off to together.
I truly wish you the best.
2006-09-02 17:52:37 · answer #2 · answered by j 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't go for that crap either I don't believe in dirty magazines or porno it isn't right it's disrespectful to women and it's degrading if a man looks at that stuff it means he wasn't ready to be committed thoughts of other women are wrong he shouldn't had got married if he can't help himself with that crap I have been married for 4 years and my husband isn't into porn or magazines he thinks it's nasty like he says he has me he's got what he wants and if he wants to see someone he will look at me their isn't any point to looking at magazines not like he can have the girl it isn't your fault some men just can't help theirselves and why the hell do some men need to fantasize??? they already have a woman and they can get sex fantasys is thinking about other women or men what the hell is the point of marriage if your going to fantasize??? marriage is about commitment thinking about other women sexually you may as well cheat I know I don't want to see anyone other then my husband I love him very much and if I need pleasure I have him and he has me to look at and want if people can't be satisfied with just one man or woman they had no right to get married don't let it hurt you it's nothing you've done or the way you look some men are just like that their never satisfied and yeah their airbrushed and I bet without airbrushing they wouldn't look like that find the magazines get rid of them if he wouldn't I would show him how it feels I would get a magazine with men and see how he likes it I bet he wouldn't like that i'm glad my husband isn't into that crap he's just perverted it isn't your fault
2006-09-02 17:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by blondeqtwitanicebooty 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do you believe in God, or in evolution? According to evolution theory, the purpose of a male is to propagate his sperm to as many willing females as possible, thus ensuring reproduction of the species. In general, the purpose of the female is to ensure the survival of her own offspring. At an instinctive level, a male is much more drawn to multiple partners than a female. It is in a man's nature to be curious and to stray, and fortunately you man uses magazines to unconsciously satisfy this instinct.
If you believe in God rather then evolution, then you know that sin is in the nature of man, and lust is one of the most common sins. Pornography can become a very strong addiction.
Regardless of how you believe, most men look at sexually stimulating material, and it is completely independent of his relationship with his wife. You could look like one of those airbrushed models, have sex with him 2x a day, and he would still be tempted by pornography. It is beyond your control; berating him for looking is just going to make him hide it, at best.
Honestly though, he should have enough respect for you to at least hide it from you, if he knows it upsets you.
2006-09-02 18:03:02 · answer #4 · answered by bedlam15 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you should really tell him how you feel about it. and if he really cares for you then he will understand and will work something out. You have to realize too that he might not totally give it up. ask him why he looks at them. every guy is different. and if he really loves you he will understand. communication is what brings couples together.
2006-09-02 17:41:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are a great woman..why does a man look at a real big truck or a fast car. i look at that stuff and my wife gets hurt by it. i try to hide it to save her feelings. its simple human nature. men cant help it we do. women have way better control over their urges. we just don't have the will power. sorry.
2006-09-02 17:40:42 · answer #6 · answered by q-fire 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your a good wife then you have no worries. However, men have, and will always, like to look at naked chicks that aren't their wife. It's not personal so don't take it as such. And have you seen the male models in those magazines! 95% of most men don't even come close to them!
2006-09-02 17:41:44 · answer #7 · answered by Steve N 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
if it bother you soo much.. just tell him to stop or hit the road!!
I have let my hubby buy mags.. but just bc i am ok with it..... i don't think its a big deal.... I think you may just have some body issues... you shouldn;'t try to look good for anyone else but for YOU!!!
2006-09-02 17:37:44 · answer #8 · answered by ♥cutemamma♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand that either I struggle myself with that issue
2006-09-02 17:54:08 · answer #9 · answered by nina 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am subscibed because of the fashion involved in it. Also its cool to check out some of the new trends and hair styles of women.
2006-09-02 17:36:20 · answer #10 · answered by ondreforsure 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋