He walked out we both had affairs now we're back together and there is no trust on either side is it really over this crap hurts so bad.please someone help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
2006-09-02 17:23:52 · 16 answers · asked by lisa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe you two do not belong together and its time to separate permanently......
2006-09-02 17:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in exactly the same situation, only he's not back for good. He's living out of state and we "visit" every few months. Now that we're having sex again it's so weird. I feel like I'm cheating on my other guy when that's long been over. Anything that either of us tries to do ends up in an argument about something from the past. It's going to take time and lots of patience on both your parts to get over the hurt and be able to trust again. If that's gone then just call it a day and sign the papers to end it. See a counselor if you can. Even if he doesn't want to- you go by yourself and maybe you'll be able to figure out if you'd be better off with or without him. Good luck, hon.
2006-09-03 00:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to work on the relationship, you should try. I was married later in life and yet my husband cheated on me six months after we were married. I was devastated so I cheated on him. Dumb I know but I felt so much better and so much more empowered! After, we both went for counseling and we stayed together for 8 years, had two children and are now currently divorced. It can work but he ended up being lazy and a closet alcoholic so he had to go. How bad do you want this relationship to work? Affairs aren't about the 'sex' it's all about 'anger' and resolving your anger. Go resolve your anger - even if it's by yourself so you're healthy. You'll learn coping skills so that the next relationship you're in will be awesome!
2006-09-03 00:33:07 · answer #3 · answered by bcbound 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Calm down sweetie. Breathe. I know excactly what your going through. I was in a 5 year relationship with a guy and after two years it started going downhill. I found evidence of him not being faithful and I called him on it. He lied about it but I knew. So, I stepped out on him because he repeated cheating. Well, I told him straight out I cheated on him and we constantly argued, broke up, he left or I left when we lived together, it was always on and off. We had no trust for eachother and it became irritating. He would not for the life of me let me move on. I gave him chance after chance but finally girl, I left. I love the nicca to death but we were not meant to be. You being married, can't just leave. I suggest working it out and seeing a marriage counselor. Next time he leaves though...you leave to so when his trifling @ss comess back you aint there. Good luck.
2006-09-03 00:40:46 · answer #4 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself if it is really worth all the crap you are going to have to go through. Will it ever get better? I know few people who have made it through a situation like this. I know it hurts but would you rather be with someone and be happy or with someone and cry everyday. I say give it some time but you really have to know when enough is enough. If things don't get better soon. (forgive) then I say move on... Time heals all wounds. Believe me.
2006-09-03 00:29:26 · answer #5 · answered by D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to rebuild that trust together.It is to easy to say I quit without trying.If you love each other give it a go.Me and my husband has been through the same thing pretty much.It hurts bad seeing he has another kid out of this but we are doing our best to work through this together.If I didn't see any commitment from either side of working it out I would probably say it is over.
2006-09-03 00:28:25 · answer #6 · answered by Pisces 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sincerely, three words-- Serious Marital Counselling, that is, if you both truly desire the union to work. It has to be 100% effort from both parties. And there has to be mutual forgiveness, with no grudges, no bringing up the past, no using it against one another in disagreements. God bless and hope it works out for you.
2006-09-03 00:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Regina D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question here is do you love him??? if you do than you have to learn to trust again. Do you love him enough to trust again you have to let the past go and move on the future!!! so think about that , Good Luck
2006-09-03 00:33:51 · answer #8 · answered by abccyourwayout 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are the 2 of you even together
it's OVER
if both of you had affairs
you lost not only respect for the other person, but yourself
time to move on
either that or you have no self worth left and fear you cannot find another man
2006-09-03 00:49:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.....you both gotta give all you got and if the trust is gone, then you have both learned a huge lesson. Sorry, but mistakes usually hurt big time.
If you both wholeheartedly give your all then trust can be restablished.
2006-09-03 00:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you both need to go and see a marage counsler to help you both regan the trust you once had good luck hope all works out
2006-09-03 00:26:34 · answer #11 · answered by christy b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋