Granted, it's only the 3rd day of college, but it seems like everyone else has already made loads of friends and is hanging out with them all the time. I haven't really made any friends yet- I have little in common my roommate and dormmates (they are all regular preppy sports fans, whereas I'm interested in other things).
To compound the feeling of not fitting in, I'm 1 year younger than the other freshmen, too...
Is it normal to feel this way?? It seems like everyone else has made new friends so easily! It's kind of getting me down...
2006-09-02 17:01:00 · 14 answers · asked by Mateo 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
Some people take a little longer to adjust, I know I do, when I first started college I didn't make friends for a couple of months. I have to warm up to people and now I am friends with a lot of people.
2006-09-02 17:08:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. Lise 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it time. I was two years younger than everyone else when I started college, and it took some time, but eventually, you will find friends. From classes you are in (try to sit near the same people...study groups?) to the clubs everyone mentions, etc. University is so diverse that there are always other people interested in the same things you are.
Until then, perhaps you can hang with your roommate/dormmates and learn something about sports (yeah, I know, football isn't always the greatest), but sporting events are more than just about the game. There is a social aspect to watching the game as well, and who knows who you will meet there.
Good luck, and enjoy school!
2006-09-02 18:03:12 · answer #2 · answered by Law Professor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, the first few weeks of college were the toughest for me. Everything and everyone around you are new and all of the Freshman are trying to impress one another with either: 1) how much they love to "party"; 2) how incredibly "smart" they are; and/or 3) how easy it is for them to make "friends." Seriously, the quotation marks are there b/c everyone is trying SO hard to look good in front of everyone else. Trust me, it's false bravado! Although these kids are excited to finally get away from mom and dad and be true "adults", they are experiencing massive insecurities, doubts, etc...Some kids just try to put on an act so it doesn't seem that they are nervous, insecure, and a little bit scared. This is completely normal and to be expected during your first semester of college.
Please, don't write everyone off yet. There are SO many other Frosh who feel the same way you are feeling. Like you, I could never act like someone I wasn't, and I preferred to build true friendships over time rather than be the popular kid with lots of "friends" (who are really nothing more than passing acquaintances, for the most part!).
It will get better. Give your fellow Frosh time to adjust to the reality of college and I'm sure you will find real, solid friendships with people who are true to themselves and true to others. Good Luck!!!
2006-09-02 17:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by sugarmagnolia0417 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always felt that way. It wasn't until I became a professor and saw the students go through the newbie process that I realized ... EVERYONE feels that way! While it may look like there are a core group of kids who are bonding immediately, it's a fact that most feel uncomfortable and lonely at first. (Students come to my office hours all of the time and pour their hearts out.)
Don't worry about it at all! Finding new and REAL friends takes time. If you find that you're unlike the other kids in your dorm, one strategy would be to find a club that you like. Maybe it's the school radio or theater or a band or a writing magazine or ... whatever. As soon as you find people with shared interests, you'll start having more fun. (For what it's worth, I was an orchestra geek in a dorm full of recruited athletes. It took a little while, but as soon as I found friends with an interest in music, I was fine.)
2006-09-02 18:53:40 · answer #4 · answered by Doc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times, it might seem that people know each other because they do. Friends many times, attempt to stick together and attend the same schools. This is not really a good thing for them because they will be more fooling than learning and it will hurt them at the end.
Stay focused in school. Join a club according to your own personal interest. You will meet people who enjoy the same things as you. Like you said, it is only your third day, so cheer up. You're just going through an adjustment and things may get to you more just because you're going through a change. Focus on getting involved in things that can boost your resume/i.e., career related, and help you for applications for scholarships. Get involved!
2006-09-02 17:24:52 · answer #5 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother is going through this exact same thing right now. I keep telling him he just has to get out there. You need to join every club that you can. It is really hard in the beginning, but just remember pretty much everyone else is going through the same thing as you. Once you get into class you will start making friends. It is hard, but just strike up a conversation. It's the only way you'll get anywhere!
2006-09-02 17:06:49 · answer #6 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might consider joining a fraternity or some other organization. That way you're with a smaller group of people and will have a better chance of getting to know people. Also, don't go around campus with the mentality that you're one year younger than the rest. You're still a freshman and you belong.
2006-09-02 17:08:27 · answer #7 · answered by shominyyuspa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you require more from friendship. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with spending the afternoon with some friends and a shallow video game tournament but, you sound like you need more intellectual stimulation than perhaps your jock roommates can offer. Don't give up hope. Just keep true to yourself and follow the pursuits that interest you and you'll find your tribe.
2006-09-02 17:26:10 · answer #8 · answered by starmoishe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how different you may think you are from other people, you are not as different as that.
There are many organizations and groups on different college campuses, and one of them probably will be one of your interests.
Go out and meet some people. Try setting a goal for yourself. As long as you want to make a friend, you can. There is no trick to making one. And age doesn't matter much when you're in college.
You can try joining a study group for any of your courses you are attending, or create one if you feel like it is needed.
2006-09-02 17:09:04 · answer #9 · answered by Robin C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-24 19:17:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋