me and my wite have moved in our trouble some brothr /in law into our one bedroom apartment. he had no job,?

Question

But the type of family we are we did it to get himself away from bad elements he was running around with b4 he mover in with us.
He previously moved from his father because he was getting too tired looking after him.
Now living with us, I got him ajob working with me.
So he is doing something good.
Problem is he is a really bad temperd child at 19, wanting to do his own thing, usually us getting a late phone call telling us hes drunk buy needs our help, as the type of family we are we do try our best to not get him into any fufther trouble, its like babysitting a 19 yr old, over the past 2 months he must have got into trouble at least 10 times, latest was tonite, out celbrating his cousins engagement he started to trash the kitchen, my wife stepped in and for the first time hit him, we feel whatever we say to him it goes in one ear and out the other, we hace now come to the end, do we tell him to pack his bags and get his own place?, as he obviously doesnt take us in consideration.

hius sister, has told him anyomre trouble he will have to move out, he always says he will cahnge but never bothers. My wife and I are just back from getting married, and his first day he moved in was the day we got back, there isnt even one night were he would find it in him to leave us in peace one nite so that we can try and get something of our marriage back, butnever happens, anytime he does its a phone late on telling us to help him with some trouble hes in, my wife feels sory and we do our best but its about time now we cut the strings from him, hes big enough to live on his own, bout time he tried it.

By talking to him after an arguement all he says is sorry, won't happen again, but since six weeks its happened at lease 11 times, really you would do anything for a family matter, but when it gets the the piont were we cant spend a minute to our selves it is puting a strain to our new marriage, he doesnt even hep us around the house. I would really appreciate anyone general feeling on this, have they been through this before and wot happend. We greatly appreciate all feedback we are getting so far.

W definetly agree with the last feedback. Its came to the point now that there isnt nothing we can do anymore, us trying our best getting him a job, being picked up in the moring to go to work, then geiing dropped off home again, we have done an awful lot for him, but nothing comes back.
I'm currently out of work after being beaten up by 6 masked men, and have been out of work now for 5 weeks, instead of him helping us more he actually does less, its more of a strain on my wife having to look after me, but you would think he could comprimise to with the situation we are ina t present.

Answer 1

Pack his stuff and put it outside...You and your wife are not helping him, your enabling him to do bad things. He is old enough to figure things out for himself, he will never move on if "the family" keeps bailing him out...You are harming him and this could end up a relationship breaker for you and wife...Get rid of him NOW>>>>

Answer 2

I have had someone stay with me and my husband for a couple of months, and this guy never helped us or paid any thing towards his keep either. But eventually it caused trouble between me and my husband and iam sure it will be the same for u 2. Dont have him there anymore. Things will only get worse if he stays, and u have already given him the chance to sort himselve out, he has no intention of changing while in your home or he would of done this by now. So tell him to leave, and the reasons for why. Dont feel guilty, u and your wife have been kind to this guy and he doesnt appreciate it, so dont waste ur time and efforts on him anymore. You and your wife need to be enjoying your time together not worrying what is going on with this 19 yr old idiot.

Good luck

Answer 3

He needs to grow up and take care of himself. You guys should bail him out. He needs to leave now because you don't need the extra stress on your marriage. Maybe he needs to fall on his own *** to get a clue. He needs to get a place to live aside from your house and get a job and pay bills all on his own. That is what the rest of us do and then maybe he will get a clue. You need to focus on your life with your wife and not have to babysit his especially if you live in a small apartment. Tell him to get out and that will be the best thing for him. If you continue to enable him he will never take care of himself. You also need to talk to your wife and make sure that she is strong and won't give in to him. If he gets in trouble oh well maybe a night or two in jail with make him think about how much of a loser he really is. Good luck I know that it is hard with family but you need to think about your life with your wife and what is best for the both or you and not him.

Answer 4

I would kick this son of a ***** out or you and your wife will never have a life.he is a taker not a giver give him his bags and tell your wife to give him a good kicking up the but on his way out of the door and get a life.FROM THE HALIFAX BABA

Answer 5

I'm not religious but there is a saying about 'The Lord helps those that help themselves.'
Your brother in law is not doing anything to help himself and if you continue to do everything for him, he will never have to. I would say that yes you should tell him if he doesn't change his behaviour than he will have to find somewhere else to live.

Answer 6

At the age of 19, he should know how to take care of himself. He's not a baby no more! Just get rid of that lousy scam bag.!

Answer 7

i think he needs professional help , perhaps he is holding things in and dont want to tell you or his family . hope this helps and good luck

Answer 8

Send him to the boy's home for delinquents.

Answer 9

you trying to write a book?

Answer 10

Kick him out, NOW.