Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and have had sex like three times. We're always safe and we're both old enough, so thats not really the issue, but I think he may have raped me, whithout the intention of hurting me. A couple of nights ago he came over and got on top of me and then started unbuttoning my top. He asked if I wanted to, and I said no, but gently because I didn't want to hurt his feelings but he kept going, I kept telling him I didn't want to, but he wouldn't stop. I didn't really fight because I couldn't believe it was actually happening. This is all my fault isn't it? Help me, please? Thanks..
2006-09-02 16:27:41 · 22 answers · asked by ur_a_hott_bitch_098 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Honey, I understrand that you didn't want to make him feel bad, but the second you told him to stop, and he didn't, it WAS rape. I would break up with him, and whether you want to or not, you can always call the police. (I cant tell you what to do) Good luck, Sweetie and I hope you're okay. If you need anything, you can e-mail me. Good luck!
2006-09-02 16:35:51 · answer #1 · answered by thats_hot_097 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are scared of him from the get go. When it comes to sex the womans feelings are some what more important than the males. As the woman has the potential to get really hurt.
You should have called the police as soon as he left. What he did is not all your fault but, you should have put up more of a fight. If you had and he hit you while you were trying to make him stop. Your case would have been a bit stronger for court.
Please don't stay with the selfish dipstick. He does not know how to please a woman! Get a vibrator. They are reliable. They don't talk back. And they only vibrate when you want them to!
2006-09-02 17:07:37 · answer #2 · answered by wishuponstarson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you said NO, no matter how gently, it's not your fault.
If he didn't use protection, get to a doctor and ask for the morning after pill, what they now call Plan B. I think you can get it without a prescription now if you're over 18. Taken quickly enough after unprotected sex, it can prevent pregnancy.
I would also suggest getting checked for STDs. If he did this to you, he might have done it to another woman. Better safe than sorry.
Then, please consider getting counseling or help to cope with this. Date rape (rape by an acquittance or friend) IS rape.
I think it goes without saying that you should RUN from this guy, and don't look back!
2006-09-02 16:34:24 · answer #3 · answered by BasketChick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In no way was it your fault at all. You said NO and that should be all you need to say no matter how loud or soft you said it. You should call the police or talk to someone tha can help you a doctor any authority figure. I have been raped too, I had consented to sex before but when it came to something i didn't feel comfortable with I said no, I cried, I pleaded. When it was over i wanted nothing but to go home and shower, but i know i need to call someone. I called my therapist. You need to tell or its just be in your mind and you cant trust your so called b/f any more.
2006-09-02 16:41:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not your fault. It's his. If he cannot respect you in something like this, then he is going to be a selfish person for the rest of your relationship. You deserve much better than him so dump him quick. Here's a good article on warning signs of an abusive relationship. http://www.oaim.org/warningsigns.html His blatant disregard of your "no" shows that he's much more interested in pleasing himself than in pleasing you. That is not love. Love puts the other person's interests first and foremost.
To be honest, it will be tough to prosecute it because you have had consensual sex with him. I don't know that you will have much support from the local police since you did not fight (and the consensual sex issue).
If you need someone to talk to, feel free to e-mail us counselors at Open Arms Internet Ministry at oaim@oaim.org and we'll be happy to help you through this.
2006-09-02 16:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Chalkbrd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a guy...he REALLY should have stopped when you said no. The fact that he didn't simply shows that he cares more for your pu**y than for you. Simple answer, don't call him again, end the relationship before you DO get hurt. If not, if it ever happens again, be assertive and say NO! To hell with his feelings. Better his feelings than your flesh. I'd recommend the cops since this IS rape. But simply put, It would be impossible to prove in court, especially since you have no injuries to speak of. It would come down to your word against his and any lawyer worth his salt could get the charges dismissed.
2006-09-02 16:34:04 · answer #6 · answered by nml42071 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like he DID rape you. No means No and he should learn that. The part when you said no, means that he didn't give a crap about your feelings and needs to be taught how to accept no for an answer. You should have knocked the crud out of him but now, your only recourse other than the hard to prove date rape charge filing with the police is to break up with him and never see him again.
2006-09-02 16:56:51 · answer #7 · answered by patbendrv 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, it is NOT your fault..
Second..NO means NO
I am a married man and have has countless intimate moments with my wife, but that does not give me freedom to use her body whenever I feel like it..even with us, when she says "no" or not tonight, I understand and know there will be other times..no is no..
If I were you I would do some soul searching here and consider giving up this fellow and find someone else who respects you.
2006-09-02 17:20:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not your fault. Don't feel guilty. He should have respected you when you said No.
Just because you had sex with him before does not automatically give him the right to have sex with you anytime he feels like it even if you say No.
You should talk to him about this so that he respects the limits you set in your relationship. If he does not respect you, dump him.
2006-09-02 16:33:40 · answer #9 · answered by Diane D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, NO means no and he should have respected you. I also feel as though you should have put up a bigger fight to let him know. Maybe you have said no in the past, to some unrelated issue, which lead him to believe that you REALLY did not mean NO.
2006-09-02 16:32:38 · answer #10 · answered by rexob715 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋