I had a girl turn me down once because I told her that I had just come out of the closet recently, and she told me that I couldn't be trusted because I wasn't a 'real' lesbian.
2006-09-02 15:14:52 · 13 answers · asked by Agent Double EL 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Okay, let's get it straight. I am NOT bi. Yes, I have slept with men, because I was confused about who I was, and I was trying to please my family by NOT being gay. Turns out there's no such thing. Since becoming open and comfortable with my sexuality, I have NOT slept with any men, nor do I plan to.
2006-09-02 15:25:42 · update #1
some people, because of being raised in a homophobic society, are confused, in denial, etc. and don't come out until later in life. I know many people who've been through it. my g/f is one...she was even married (and, even more interesting, her ex-husband also came out as gay and we are all friends), but I don't consider her less gay, or not a "real" lesbian.
2006-09-03 08:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not any less homosexual. A lot of gays and lesbians either are too scared to come out or just realize that they are gay later in life. I myself didn't realize i was gay until around 19. I kept wondering why I never wanted to go all the way with guys. Then i started dreaming and fantasizing about making love to women. That's how I realized I was gay. I've never went all the way with a guy, but that doesn't make me any more gay than you. A lot of people sleep with the opposite sex and live the straight lives because of family and the way gays are treated. It does not make them any less gay. If at this point in life you are 100% sure that you only want women, then you are a lesbian. Maybe this girl just thinks you are confused or bi, and is scared of getting hurt. Prove to her that you aren't. If she still doesn't want you, you can do better.
2006-09-02 20:05:28 · answer #2 · answered by indrep33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many of my associates came out later in life. Actually after they had been married to a man and raised their children. These women are no less lesbian than I am. Most just caved to popular societal mores and tried to do what their families thought was "right". The more outstanding stories are that one day they came upon Ms. Right now and then realized that all of those feelings they had been having were real. It usually goes something like this...
1) Have feelings for years.
2) Have the family.
3) Meet the woman.
4) Go to a couple of PFLAG meetings and just listen.
5) Tell the kids.
6) Leave the man.
7) Be happy!
I just love support groups!
Just a point to make....I came out young and stayed out. It's dark and lonely in that closet!
2006-09-03 00:41:22 · answer #3 · answered by Hidisar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, I really wouldn't worry too much about it. I've run across a couple people like that too. I just move on and realize I know who I am, they obviously don't and it's their loss.
Many gays and lesbians alike don't come out until later in life. It doesn't make us any less gay/lesbian than the next one. It just makes them seperatist jerks.
Honey, I can honestly say, I simply don't understand seperatist/elitists in the gay community. You'ld think we'd be more accepting of each other. Especially since we demand acceptance from others.
Just ignore the hateful ones and love life!
Have and incredibly Happy one!
2006-09-02 20:01:58 · answer #4 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've heard a lot of comments that sort of point to that fact. It's the "new teen" syndrome; a lot of late blooming homosexuals when they come out tend to...er, test the sexual waters a lot when they do come out. A lot of people feel that until a person has been out for a while, and worked the years of sexual frustration out they won't be able to settle down and actually commit to a steady relationship. It's of course a stereotype, and as such often entirely wrong, but human beings do LOVE our stereotypes!
2006-09-02 15:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by Gamerbear 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's just pissed you turned her down. I just recently came out myself last year. And you can see why so many people were dissapointed but I love being a lesbian, and I love women. And yes I do have a kid and I did use too sleep with guys but it was awful, did the same trying please my family. I decided to put myself first
2006-09-02 18:31:41 · answer #6 · answered by datcreekgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she's referring to the fact that you left "being closeted" to enter a Queer lifestyle and allot of people run back to their closeted lives after getting into loving gay relationships, then leaving their "others" behind to go live alone again perhaps from guilt or fear of society. That's all she was afraid of, that some do that the same way many straight women who "go gay" do when they get in F/F relationships and return to their previous lives later.
2006-09-02 17:01:52 · answer #7 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If I ever come out I'll find out I guess but let me say this that person you spoke of was wrong and in fact you kept that too your self and if you can't be trusted who can? Find someone nice and I hope things work out for you.
2006-09-02 16:03:57 · answer #8 · answered by Super 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that (the girls) statment is the most ludicris thing Ive herd, Itd be like saying i m less of i psychologist because i just started.. however id be just as much one as any other doctor, the only difference is id need to learn more, so insteed of dumping you she should have took you in.
MY two cents worth
2006-09-02 15:44:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess you must have been with men before ?
thats the only reason i can think of her saying that
i class myself a s a true gay as i have only slept with men
2006-09-02 15:19:35 · answer #10 · answered by ☺Everybody still loves Chris!♥▼© 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋