To make a long story short, my live-in boyfriend is an drunk and I can't stand it no more! (Sorry, had to vent) I have been with this fellow for over 2 yrs and it seems his condition has worsen (or at least that is how I see it). When my boyfriend and I met was "on the front porch" - my apartment is next door to his cousins apartment. He used to work a travel job and would come to his cousins on the weekends and that is how we met. Well after awhile as the story goes, one thing let to another and we starting dating and I let him move into my home. Well after he quit the traveling job and worked a job near home (9 to 5 job) he is constantly outside like every night with the guys drinking to wee hours in the morning and then having a hard time getting up to go to work in the morning. He usually goes through 12 pk a night.
We are getting ready to move as he hates living here next to his cousins ;once we moves he will stop the drinking - I , dont think so. Am I alone here?
2006-09-02 14:56:12 · 11 answers · asked by kathryn408 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thank you everyone that has so far responded...I ask myself everyday - should I stay with this guy? I guess in my heart, I am hoping he will change - but I know he has to do it for himself. I can't change anyone I know. I guess why I am so against the drinking is that my parents are also alcholics and I know his father was one too (never met him) from what he has told me (his father died when he was 13 of the liver )he is now 40. His mother and sister know how bad he is and have tried talking to him over and over about it. His mother even told me to go to the AA meetings as she knows what I am going through (she went through the same thing with his dad but his dad died from it). I am only in my 30s - nights he passes out is a blessing ( i hate to say). I have tried the "better change or I am leaving" but get the same response, well I will change once we move out of here.....that is his excuse and as we know no excuse will work for his bad habit that he has to break himself.
2006-09-02 15:27:17 · update #1
Major decision. Firstly, are you getting married? If not, move on. If you are planning a future together the alcohol is what you'll be married to if he does not make a choice to quit now. You cannot stop a person from this. He/she absolutely has to make this decision. You can suggest only. Seeing is believing.
2006-09-02 15:03:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not alone. I am married to the same type of guy for almost 18 years. I just wonder why you are staying with him. I should never have married this guy, but I was pregnant (with twins) and now almost 18 years later, I have 3 children (17 and 12) and I don't see any way out without living on the street. He does get up and go to work, but every night by the time we have dinner, he is usually drunk. He gets pretty obnoxious and verbally abusive. Then, if we are lucky, he will go to bed sometime around 8 and we have a little peace. Is this really what you see yourself doing 15 or so years down the road. Think about it hard before you make any further commitments to this guy. Do you really think he is going to stop and change his ways? I wish I had done something a long time ago, but now I feel it is too late and i will just live out the rest of my life with this jerk.
Good luck with that. Maybe you should explore your options.
2006-09-02 15:09:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you...I lived with my mom being an alcoholic for 14 years and my older brother as one for 5 years. My mom has since gotten help but it has taken a long time and alot of relapses. My older brother is still an alcoholic and has been in jail for DUI once now but still will not admit he is an alcoholic...if you ever need someone to talk to even just to vent...you can email me or IM me. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
2006-09-02 15:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this very well..( just went through it too) lots a people with drinking problems never realize it and probably never will. Just leave it will hurt like hell at first but in the end you will be better off and its very stressful to be in a situation like that. HOPE THIS HELPS. I'll pray for you
2006-09-02 15:01:23 · answer #4 · answered by P3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an alcholic and without treatment and the 12 step program, and AA he will not stop drinking.
2006-09-02 14:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by lizzybit64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do for him is to get him help. Ask him about it and see what is reaction will be. maybe he thinks the same thing but just dont know how to go get help
2006-09-02 15:08:23 · answer #6 · answered by caramel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alright hun, take it from me... this guys will likely not get help till he WANTS it... and he may never want it... DO go to Al-Anon for yourself, they can help you, and get out of the relationship before you waste more time!
i know all about this...
2006-09-02 15:01:00 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am an alcoholic...but i don't think so.
want me to prove it??? i just gave my wife a beautiful ring and tolder her i loved her, whilst i got into a n argument with the cat and flicked him off
2006-09-02 14:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by justin72185 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you want a man who would put alcohol before anything else, even you? tell him it's either you, or the alcohol. no compromising.
2006-09-02 14:59:20 · answer #9 · answered by bad guppy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aa or al anon meetings for you. God bless you!
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
2006-09-02 14:59:11 · answer #10 · answered by melissa r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋