Molestation - what to do?

Question

I was first molested when I was about 14. I'm 17 now, and it hasn't stopped. I can avoid the guy for the time being, but please, dear god, someone tell me what to do. I know I should go to my parents, and I've gone to a friend, and she's willing to be there with me when I tell them... but I need to know how to begin. There's plenty of 'tell your parents!' things out there, but nothing to tell you how to go about that. It will slap them in the face, I know that there's no way avoiding that, but someone please tell me how to start!

another option is my sister - she's 18, and has always been there to help me. i think it would be easier to go to her than to my parents.

to the people that said to go to the school counciler: thank you, that's something i hadn't thought of. although the same question would apply: how in creation do you say something like that?

Answer 1

Go to the police and let them know in detail. Don't charge this guy until the police get a recording of him talking with you on the phone as you confront him on this issue. Do not let it happen again. Shoot the bastard if you must.

I know you are scared to tell your parents. You might tell your school counselor and they will probably direct you from there to all the appropriate steps.

The first step is letting the information out.

Edit: I totally disagree with the persons who suggested getting this on video. This actually would almost seem like premeditated consent. Do not let this happen again, no way, period. If you need to catch him call him on his phone and confront him with the police monitoring his response. This is how a friend of mine convicted her karate teacher who violently forced her to perform oral sex.

The counselor idea is best as often parents do not have functional responses. The counselor can get things in the works and talk with your parents in ways it would be hard on your own. Going to the police first might also be a good first step. In any case it must stop immediately.

I commend you on your bravery to come forward. You have already taken the first steps. The rest will come more easily.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. The best and easiest way to say it would probably be to not sit around worrying and thinking about it so much - just walk in the room and bluntly blurt it out. Don't go into a huge beat around the bush conversation at first. Walk in the room and say "I'm being molested"! They will then ask you questions that you should be able to answer. This will allow you to tell them the things/details that they are wanting to know at the 'right now moment' - the rest can be filled in with time. If you aren't comfortable doing that, then call/go to a police officer and make a report - then, the police will help you tell your parents or tell them for you and you won't have to be the one to tell them! I know this is hard - i was molested and raped as a child too - God Bless you and Good Luck!

Answer 3

No matter what happens it's going to be a slap in the face to your parents. You could try talking to your principal, the police, your pastor/reverend/rabbi etc. but they'd probably contact your parents anyway. Would you rather they hear about it from you, or from them? It's a choice you have to make. No matter what it will be shocking.

Anyway... if you plan on telling them yourself, get them into a private place like your home. Make sure they sit down first. Then just tell them straight out.

Answer 4

First of all, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. You don't deserve that.

I agree with the guidance counselor remark. That would probably be the best way to handle it. However, I also agree with the person who recommended getting it on video. That way, people will believe you if they see it with their own two eyes. Or even if you can get a simple tape recording of what he says to you while he does it. Good luck. Most important - just make sure your parents are aware of what's happening to you.

Answer 5

No one can tell you how to tell your parents but it is important that you to tell them. If you are closer to one parent than the other, go to that parent first tell them EVERYTHING and ask them to help you tell the other parent. I would also suggest going to the police and pressing charges against this person. This person is sick and will not stop, they WILL hurt someone else too. They need help and if nothing else to be locked away where they can't hurt anyone else.

Answer 6

If you find it too hard to tell them in person try writing them a letter. Tell then that youve had a problem since you were 14 that is very hard for you to talk about but now you need it to sstop and you need there help there comfort. Tell them who the guy is and how you feel, and how its affected you. Goodluck

Answer 7

Yes it will slap them in the face but it will get you justice!
Believe me, it's better to tell your parents. My ex was harassing me, stalking me, and even threatened to kill me. I was only 17 at the time and when I went to the police, my parents HAD to be told so I could get a restraining order against him.

If I told my parents sooner, I wouldn't have had to put up with all his ****. Things like this are serious. He needs to be put in jail before he does this to another girl.

Answer 8

I know a young girl who was rape but the c.s.d. told me it was a police matter and the police told me it was not there job dutie, I will not stop until I find help for my friend and when I do I will like to tell you where you can find it >? if you would still need help, donot give up I know that there has to be something out there for us , good luck, I have just posted my info on here looking for help also, let me know if you find something first ? good by

Answer 9

Yes, tell your parents! As soon as possible.Get them to sit down with you and your friend and tell them you have something to tell them. If they are tuned in to you as their daughter they will sense something is wrong and urge you to continue. At this point, you will have to tell them what happened.
If you feel uncomfortable telling your parents then find a teacher or an older relative to confide in. They will help you tell your folks.
This man must be stopped! He is hurting you and he has no right to do this against your will.
Please remember also, this is not your fault. It is his fault and he needs to be punished.
D

Answer 10

Its simple, just tell them and then tell the police so they can set up a sting for this pervert. Do this without hesitation and do it NOW. Im glad this guy doesnt live in my neighborhood. We have our own way of dealing with these pieces of $hit. The last time the neighborhood got on to one, by the time we got through with him he was begging us to call the police.