My girfriend and i live with her mom, which i hate with a passion. The frequent guest the sharing with other people etc.. we just had a beautiful baby and we are both working and going to school fulltime. We havent had sex in about 4 months. she wants to, i dont. I often think about other women but still love her. I cant stand living with her family. never a moment of peace. What should I do?????
2006-09-02 14:28:56 · 16 answers · asked by ceddy712 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stick it out until you two can afford an apartment or house. I believe you can get assistance if you have a child, congradulations by the way, and just work towards trying to get your own place. You are thinking about other women because you are thinking of getting out of your current situation but let me tell you something straight from a sistahs perspective...DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE THAT WOMAN AND YOUR CHILD. She needs you. She probably doesn't like being there either. Stick it out. And do the searching for a place. Good luck.
2006-09-02 14:37:09 · answer #1 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hate living w/her parents or should I say her mom then find a full time job or you both find a job and move in to a place of your own because you're really not in a position to complain because after all you do live w/ her mom thinking about other women and witholding sex from her isnt going to fix the situation nor change the situation you are both in and now the new baby also so maybe you and your sig other should try hard to leave her moms house so that you may have some privacy wish you well.
2006-09-02 14:36:06 · answer #2 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a series of problems but I think they are stemming from your living arrangement with your gf's mother. Sometimes, and I even hate to say this, but sometimes a person has to sacrifice something to get a greater reward. Whether it's pride, time, or other focus. Right now, the both of you are trying to work And go to school full time, my sibling is going through that and it doesn't work at all. Something must give. One person can take a semester off and work full time to save ample money to get a home or get assistance. This is where the pride must be put into the back pockets. Nobody wants housing assistance, but if you haven't made love in four months, thinking of other women, and staying up under someone's roof, sacrifices must be made. Hope this helps the both of you.
2006-09-02 14:36:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is ur living under her parents roof.. time to man up and either deal with it till u finish school or go to school part time, go get a job so that u can afford ur own place.. but ur not doing ur relationship with ur gf any good by with holding sex from her just because u both got urself into a situation before either one of u were prepared for it.. by having a baby before being financially capable of being responsible for the baby..how can u say u love her yet u lust after others.. ur gf made a huge mistake in picking u to be the father of her child.. even if it was an unplanned pregnancy she should of taken proper percautions to keep from the possibility of having a child with such an immature, irresponsible little boy.. who disrespects her so much as to the Want to be with other women, and distroy his childs life by doing so.. Good going Dad, time to be a MAN and stop thinking of your own selfish needs and be the Man that ur GF and your child need u to be, u gave up what u WANTED the day ur GF became pregnant..
2006-09-02 14:39:20 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ceddy, I do not mean to sound harsh, but what you need to do is grow up and stop thinkng only of yourself. You have a wife and child you need to consider first now and this post is sorely lacking in mature behaviors. Your child deserves a father who can stick out the tough times and be fully invested and committed to s/he. Your wife is suppose to be the most important person in your life, with your child next to her. This does not sound like a man who is mature and caring properly for his family. I think you need to take a good hard look at this post and reread what you said. What about your wifes feelings in this? Does she matter, does her feelings matter, does her needs matter? If not then why did you marry her and have a child with her? It is far too late for you to be a child now. You left your childhood behind when you decided to marry and have this beautiful child. What do you expect to teach your child? Do you want your child to grow up nurtured in a stable home with two loving parents who put their spouses and marriage first, or do you want your child to grow up a product of a broken home, with a step parent who will not love this child as a biological parent would, who will believe it is Ok to run away from responsibilities when life does not go the way s/he wants, and any number of other selfish and immature manners of behaviors?
Listen, get a grip here and be the man you can truly be. It is not easy to be an adult, to be a husband and a father, but this is who you are now and these are your first responsibilities. You must put your mind into the proper state to be the man, husband and father you truly can be and don't lower yourself and your self esteem along with it by reneging on your self, your wife and your child. It is simply past time to stop thinking you are the only one who matters. You are responsible now, a man now so start acting like one.
By the way, with a baby you are not "boyfriend-girlfriend" any longer, you are husband and wife, father and mother. Stop looking at other women and remember the reasons you first fell in love with this young woman. Also, life is about sharing, so get use to it. Be gratefull to her family for giving you and your family a home while you both finish your education. They are not obligated to do so you know, yet you act like they are. Now you both are grown with a child of your own, their responsibilities to supporting their children is over, let alone support their son-in-law and grand child. Find some gratitude you have these folks in your life and are willing to be so helpfull. I can tell you it is not easy for them to give up a portion of what should be their hard earned rights of having time alone with each other now they have finished the difficult job of raising their own children. Too many would be more than happy to have what you have right now, so get your head in the right place, stop sniviling and act like a man.
2006-09-02 15:02:50 · answer #5 · answered by Serenity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a place of your own. Maybe that's why you don't really want sex, stress can do that for you. Also you need privacy maybe you don't feel comfortable getting down and dirty because of all the people and chaos in your living situation. Talk to her.
2006-09-02 14:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by tpurtygrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you ever thought of telling her how you feel? well im in the same situation as you but i dont think of other guys i just dont want to have sex i dont know if is just because i tired or im just tired of his family! but i think you should tell her and try to work things out. good luck
2006-09-02 14:36:50 · answer #7 · answered by alina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
save money and get a new house. Freedom and privacy is life.
go to century 21.
2006-09-02 14:32:20 · answer #8 · answered by Confused Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a child together, you two should get married to each other. And get a apartment together.
2006-09-02 14:39:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save some money and get your own place.
2006-09-02 14:35:43 · answer #10 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋