my parents are always arguing back and forth on the phon and when ever they can what do i do to keep them from putting me in the middle
2006-09-02 14:14:36 · 18 answers · asked by candy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why don't you tell both of them that it takes at least TWO to argue.
and that...
"I'll just go over here, out of the way, so you don't confuse that it is me that started it?" and move away from them both..
It is not a good situation when the child is more mature than both of the parents.
but
when that is the case - it is good to know it...
I believe that things will get better for you..!
2006-09-02 14:32:43 · answer #1 · answered by DM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really wish I knew the best answer to give you but I don't know any sure thing.
Maybe if you sent each one the same card. Write a small note saying you love them both but their arguing is hurting you. Send it in the mail with stamp (the whole process of being delivered through the post office). Subconsciously, this should get their attention. They will be curious. They will say to themselves something like this,"What is this ? A letter addressed from my wonderful daughter :) I wonder what this is about." Surprise ! It is a note from their most cherished daughter letting them know that her happiness depends on more effort on their part. Something they could easily afford to do to show how much they care back.
It is worth a try. Sometimes people take verbal words for granted but printed words are documented.
Good Luck, Dear.
2006-09-02 21:27:12 · answer #2 · answered by ena k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a mature adult or counseler at school that you could talk to and advise you and perhaps call them in for a meeting to try to put a stop to this argueing. Just a thought. Sounds like they need a restraining (done by the court system) order put on them to keep them apart until they each cool off and that might take years. So very sorry you have to endure this mess.
2006-09-02 21:33:56 · answer #3 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. I have two kids of my own and my ex and I are always arguing. I wish that she won't start agruments in front of the kids but that is her doings. All I can say is to suggest that they see a parenting counselor. You can't stop them from fighting, but you can change the fact that you are being put into the middle.
Don't blame yourself for their fighting. And don't give up on finding a way to help them resolve their differences.
2006-09-02 21:35:02 · answer #4 · answered by Lonewolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can't make them stop. All I can say is write them both a letter and ask that they put you and your feelings first. If they don't like each other than oh well but they should at least be civil for you. I've been in this situation and I know it sucks, don't allow yourself tio be in the middle. When they say something negative walk away. I wish you the best sweetie. ((hugs))
2006-09-02 22:00:38 · answer #5 · answered by tpurtygrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On this one;you have a right to speak up.Tell them you will not carry verbal messages between them.Tell them how you feel.Remind them that if there is one thing they still have as a couple one thing that they can NOT divorce -YOU! I made it a LAW in my house that to speak against my ex-husband was a good way to be asked to leave!Tell them this is out of hand and that since they are the adults,they need to fix it-because they are hurting you.
2006-09-02 21:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Maw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to stop putting you in the middle. To grow up and act like adults that both love their child, at that by putting you in the middle they both look like a couple of immature losers, who can't get on with their lives, and just love their kid.
2006-09-02 21:20:32 · answer #7 · answered by mo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are being stupid, tell them to grow the hell up, stop putting u in the middle, and to either get back together and fight for their marriage, or go on with their lives and just be divorced .. heck if they put so much energy into their marriage as they do fighting and putting u in the middle perhaps they wouldnt be divorced in the first place..
2006-09-02 21:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people love fighting and will never quit. Even after divorce. I knew a couple that fought until the day one died the other died shortly after.
2006-09-02 21:53:57 · answer #9 · answered by lizzybit64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is going to sound crazy but, act like a little child. Put your hands on your ears and say "I"M NOT IN IT!!" or just say NO if they try to make you pass hurtful messages. You have got to make them feel guilty and be accountable for what they are making you feel.
2006-09-02 21:17:44 · answer #10 · answered by Shanigirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋