I'm in my 30's and due to petite size I look in my 20's. Boyfriend is in 50's. 2 teenage daughters are sophisticated, well read, well traveled and super adoring of their dad. I don't want to pretend I'm a cool 14 year old, or act like I'm much cooler and younger than their mom...I just want them to feel safe and OK with me being with their dad. Advice??
2006-09-02 13:52:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How they accept you has a lot to do with how they handled their parent's divorce to begin with. If they have bitter feelings there, you have a tough road ahead. You also didn't include the status of your relationship (new, long-term, etc.) and the age of his kids. My suggestion, be their friend, but be an adult friend. They need to know that you're not trying to take their mother's role in their life but that you are an authority figure that they can go to with questions, problems, etc. You have to stay consistent with your behavior as well. You can't be the gosippy teenage confidant one minute then the mature, dictative parent the next. As they get older, they'll more appreciate you and the role you play in their lives.
2006-09-02 14:02:44 · answer #1 · answered by April M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just always do what is right , be friendly with them but realize they do need to respect u as a mother figure as well as a friend and there will come times where u will need them to respect u as much as far as disciplin type problems, or if u know something that their father needs to be made aware of, then u will have to do what is right by ur husband and tell him of it.. so just be yourself, dont try to become their BUD, be friendly and fun, and u can have a great relationship with them, but ur also their authority figure as well and they need to respect the line of your friendship.. So just be yourself, do always whats in the best interest of them.. and everything will be just fine
P.S. other then the fact that u make for good arm candy for ur husband the fact that he's probably close if not old enough to be your father.. lol.. but he chose u for a reason and im sure part of that reason was because he knew u'd make a good step mother for his kids..
2006-09-02 21:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust me if there is anything you can do is BE YOURSELF. Again I say BE the true person you are. This is first and foremost.
Then seek to get them to respect you and not to like you. You are the love of their father not their love. Seek for their respect.
Be true to their father and make their father feels like a king so that he will always want to please you more than them. If you can get his attention then the battle is yours.
Later down at some point, just act like you do not need them. They will come around and wash your feet
2006-09-02 21:29:51 · answer #3 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too pushy and let them learn to like you on their own time. Don't try to be their cool friend or anything like you said, and it doesn't matter how old you look, because they know how old you really are right? Just be nice to them and don't force them to do stuff with you or hug you or whatever, because no matter how cool you think you're acting, they're TEENAGE GIRLS! They're best left alone. Trust me. I'd know.
2006-09-02 20:58:29 · answer #4 · answered by Oneofthesedays 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be friendly. Don't try to be motherly towards them. Find common interests and do them together like shopping or spa days. Go get mani/pedi's and have lunch.
2006-09-02 20:56:45 · answer #5 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are TEENAGE GIRLS. They probably don't like anyone, lol. (You were one not too long ago....remember??) Just worry about your relationship with your boyfriend. If it works out between you two, they will come around when they mature a bit!
2006-09-02 21:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by nic_tammyscott 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself. Include them in things to do, dont try to over play the mommie role, and dont over play a "please like me" attitude. Just treat them as though they are part of your life and if they like you.. they will show you in due time. If they dont.. then its their problem. You can only be who you are. Dont try to buy their friendship and dont try to be cool.. just be you. Good luck.
2006-09-02 21:16:59 · answer #7 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be polite and friendly, but don't push too hard, or try to buy them with gifts. include them on "family dates" to events that they find interesting, and let them get to know you for the great lady that you are.
2006-09-02 21:11:56 · answer #8 · answered by bad guppy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blow them off, that is how they get one another to like them. Without being juvenile about it pretend you couldn't care less weather they like you or not.
2006-09-02 21:06:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have a real uphill battle. If they ever accept you, it will probably take years, and it may never happen.
2006-09-02 20:57:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋