Well I broke up with him it was really hard, he is begging for us to remain friends but I dont know if I want that. I need your advice on how to get through this because I am hurting so bad I cant eat, can't sleep, can't stop crying, I go to teachers' college and I have assignments and they cant be done because i cant consentrate i and so depressed. I really love this man and wanted to have a future with him, he said he love me and not giving up on me, he keep on calling me, sending text messages about how sorry he is and how it is killing him seeing me hurting like this and he did not ment to hurt me, he keep sending me gifts, sorry notes and cards. I don't know what to do. Can someone please help me?
2006-09-02 13:38:53 · 13 answers · asked by marshboo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Think of the situation in the shoes of his wife. I know that you may be hurting now and that you want to be with him and everything... but if you see it from her position you'll see how terrible he was to have done what he did to her. Do you really want someone who could possibly do the same to you? Don't rule out the possibility; if he could cheat on her with you, there's always a chance that he could cheat on you as well. You deserve better than this guy. You deserve someone who's honest with you and cares about you enough to devote himself wholly to you. Don't give in to the pain that you feel now and go back to him. Move on and find someone better. I'm sure you will. Good luck.
2006-09-02 13:46:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a low down dog. Have no feelings or sympathy for him. He treated you horribly by lying and stringing him along. Send the gifts and notes to his wife. He is evil to keep after you like this. Pick yourself up and find a better class of person. Next time look for the signs that he is married. And never ever hang on for that long. After a year, marry or move on.
2006-09-02 13:48:08 · answer #2 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He lied to you and broke your heart. He does not get to be your friend and does not deserve a second chance.
You may think that maybe you can get him to leave his wife; you can't. If he wanted to leave her, he would.
He must not respect you enough to tell you the truth when this all started. The fact that he hid it shows that he is not ready to take the chance and leave her. Plus if he is willing to cheat on her with you, he will cheat on you with someone else if he gets bored.
He may love you and mean it when he says he loves you, but do you want to be in a relationship like this for however many years he decides to be with both of you.
Dont give him the chance to hurt you more. It will get better in time but it takes awhile.
2006-09-02 13:51:09 · answer #3 · answered by mommynokissies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him when you see his divorce papers finalized you will consider. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You won't ever have a life..will always be the mistress if you take him back. Respect yourself more, you deserve a relationship with someone that will commit to you and only you. He probably knows he can win you over. Just write him off as a very bad mistake. We should learn from our mistakes and not make them again.
2006-09-02 13:43:08 · answer #4 · answered by RITA G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's really hard honey. One can't turn their feellings off automatically. But the lie he told you is unforgivable. You cannot trust him. I think you are better off without him. Believe me, if you forgive him and start things up again, you have just put off the inevitable. Bad things will happen again. Better to start the long process of getting over him now than putting it off. It will only get worse and worse with time. Do it now. I'm very sorry. I know what you are going through.
2006-09-02 13:45:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i dont know where to start from!!!!!!
I am an idiot but I have an IQ of 148 and I am supposed to be in the Class of 'visual mathematician' only 2.6% of the world population is at this level.
Lets put it like this I am going to put some assumptions on your past if they are right then you can read my analysis further if not then dont give **** as I would b writing worthless bull.
1) you met this guy sometime back and then he chased you or impressed you for about months and then you finally fell for him.
2) Initially everything was great but soon enough you realised that the spark was lost or he wasnt loving the way he was in 'wooing'period
3) although you were ready to welcome him in your network (like your family) he didnt reciprocate it (probably he had a family) as well. you were surprised what is fishy?
4) now that the 'wooing' phase is far from over he wants to open the bomb 'married with family and all ****'.
if all these points or most of them are right then please read further. if incase you donot like to read criticism then donot read further
1) Are you a goat (I am not a muslim but I have heard that islam classifies women as goat) either you are an extremely sensitive or sentimental kinds or you were in the recovering phase of the relation these are the two categories which are very vulnerable.
2) Is the guy's family in some other country, else how come you couldnt make out this fact long time back, I am sorry girl you didnt do your homework.
3) I think he wanted to have some fun , I guess the only mistake he did was that he dragged it for 4 yrs.
Now read as to what I think that you should be doing
This guy is not even worth being forgiven even if you forgive him. you would never be able to come over this phase ,I am extremely sorry but 4 yrs is too big of time and even if he drops a ton of flowers , gift or whatever **** you cannot get over this.
if you really want to confront him although he has proved time and again that he is worthless. he should stop bothering you the more he tries get in touch with you the more it would aggravate the situation you need time away from him, not from life once you are away from him. you would slip into an introspection phase which would bring big changes to your personality , it would make you wise although it is very painfull at the same time make yourself busy as you donot want to slip into a cycle of depression
just make sure that you dont get too pessimistic about life the fact that you were able to pull yourself out of it in just 4 yrs is great. I know about women who got married to guys from poor countries only to realise that they had parallel families running in home countries for the past 20 yrs.
I know I am going to sound like the heartless bastard but this is your life only & only you can change it . you have take it by its collar and turn it around, unfotuantly you made the decision of falling for the wrong guy now only you can mend it by making things right.
Dont fall for a guy for atleast 3/4 yrs and stay away from him for some time before you get over the initial phase of hatred and remorse. after this period you would be far more stable and mature.
I am sure that this guy got into the relation knowing everything but he likes to give into temptation. I know a guy from cameroon who did something similar , he later justified his act by saying that he was never serious.
If you forgive him he would think that his moral obligation is over, if you dont I doubt he would as much in pain as you have had been.
Above all take cause that is over and above yourself and something that really gives you a drive. it could anything that you wanted to do or like doing
And remember time is the best healer, so just let time pass and I am sure you would do well.
If incase this is not enough just write me an email at eshank.bahuguna@gmail.com I would be happy to help you out further .
Take care , all the best
You have a long road ahead
2006-09-02 14:40:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't have a relationship with and liar and cheater. you didn't mention that he was leaving his family. you deserve better than that, and you don't want to trade places with his wife, because in a couple of years he'll probably do the same you. pick yourself up now! get moving and start living. you don't need him and you can do a whole lot better. kick this lying, cheating guy to the curb. wishing you well.
2006-09-02 13:43:53 · answer #7 · answered by sneakymonica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok now you've made me experience truly unhappy. i'm a lady, an autonomous, knowledgeable, nicely travelled, revealed author and psychologist. I have worked with females from all nationalities and cultures in australia, with all sorts of subject matters, issues, dilemmas. as well as with females who've chuffed and fullfilled lives. the single ingredient i can allow you to comprehend is that a lady elderly 15 to 19 isn't a lady, she is a lady. She has had no danger in existence to be certain what her likes and dislikes are, no time to get a school education, no danger to commute and adventure existence and extremely get a experience of self and self-worth.She continues to be a baby in maximum ideas, and so she should be! I heavily do no longer have a challenge with an age distinction in marriage, yet i do have a challenge with those who have not yet matured, no matter if or not they be male or lady marrying in any respect. I also thoroughly understand why this custom is executed in Islam and also in another cultures international huge. actually that is to coach the female to be precisely what the guy needs her to be. she will be able to not in any respect have an education the position if she mandatory to ought to enable her to help herself financially. she will be able to not in any respect have a danger to kind her own evaluations, from her own existence reports ( good and undesirable). she will be able to not in any respect comprehend if the guy chosen for her is in reality the basically right guy for her, as she ought to haven't any element of reference for evaluation. This very last element ought to seem alluring to adult males, as he feels safeguard understanding that she hasnt had the different reports with adult males, so he will not in any respect seem lacking. notwithstanding, on the turn area he will not in any respect comprehend for certain if she extremely does love him. Its unhappy for all in touch, i also observe that i didnt see the note "love" everywhere in what you've written. again i imagine it really is basically terribley, incredibley unhappy. I thank my fortunate stars that I were waiting to make all selections regarding my own existence. some were useful, some no longer so... yet they have been all MY selections. And that my pal is FREEDOM.
2016-12-06 04:37:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him instantly, if hes been married not tell you for so long what wd he do to you? It would have been better if he had given you the choice to date him had he told you he was married b4.
2006-09-02 13:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by soapfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a big lier,do not listen 2 what he say,he is not a human he's a devil,,
2006-09-02 13:49:34 · answer #10 · answered by mari-mar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋