as medics tried to resussetate some-one i cared for deeply.the monitors kept on flat line-ing.
on his way to the hospital his heart started beating again,he had severe swelling of the brain and declared quadroplegic.
he was put on life support. the next day he was having tremedous seizures, his eyes would flung wide open.he looked so scared. tears were running down his cheecks. .i spoke to him a lot-it seems that it did calm him down,the tears would stop. we have know each other for about two yearsprior. when we first met we were both involved in other rltnships.
without us knowing it the relationships broke up.
we attended a social do and all of a sudden there was this tremendous chemistry between us - we fell in love - we became a couple.what started out as the happiest day of my life ended in tragedy.declared brain dead 3 days later.miss him-can't stop crying.it feels if he is still around.it was no accident, he was murdered. invstgtn ongoing.my life changed in 10min help pls?
2006-09-02 13:14:27 · 9 answers · asked by ? 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i apologise for the bad grammer - not enough space to work with. his neck was broken(twisted from side to side) and his body dumped in the pool.
2006-09-02 13:18:11 · update #1
Your friend is still with you. When you were together, did he want you to be happy? He still does, even more so now because now he knows more than he did while with you in flesh. As you are unhappy, so is he. Even though he is in place of wonder, he is still hampered by his desire for you to be happy and knowing you are not making it.
When you think of him the hardest, how often has one of your joint songs come on the air? When you think deeply about him, how often have you felt his presence?, smelled his after shave lotion? When you think of him, how often have you felt a cool breeze on the back of your head or neck causing your hair to move but there is no breeze? Take a romance novel book, blindly open it and point to a page. Open your eyes and read what it says. Start at the beginning of the sentence. He's still with you and more than anything else in the universe he wants you to stop crying and be happy. Wasn't that how he was before?
Vaya con DIOS
2006-09-02 13:41:49 · answer #1 · answered by chrisbrown_222 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So sorry that you have been through this. It is so sad! He died a horrible way it seems. Glad that the police are after the killer! He may have been in shock and may not have felt a whole lot of pain Since the doctors I'm sure had him sedated with pain medication. Please do your best to know that he would want you to be Happy even so. You may never really know for sure if he was aware of the fact that you was there for him and when he cried and you talked to him and the tears left, then you should always know that it was out of your hands. I know if you could have done anything in this world to change what was happening to him then you would have. So just know this and just go on with your life. You have to somehow. So sorry that you lost him! God Be with you! Bless you for being there for him! bless your heart for seeing this also! But leave it at the cross and go on.
2006-09-02 21:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by SecretUser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear you are suffering like this. The pain you are feeling two years later is not uncommon for someone seeing another person they love die in front of them. (particularly a violent death) I am willing to bet you are suffering nightmares about the event and you are having flashbacks about it, along with all these emotions. You may be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.
You deserve to have help dealing with all of this. A professional therapist can help you process everything you are feeling so that you can live a happier more functional life. I know it isn't easy admitting you need help and taking the first step, but the techniques they use can work WONDERS on how you are feeling. I wish you luck on all of this and I am so sorry you are in so much pain. Please take the next step and find a counselor or therapist to guide you through such a rough time.
2006-09-02 20:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by prettyinpunkk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a terrible thing to happen to your loved one. Despite what you may feel right now, you can get through this. Even if you've never had a relationship with God, it doesn't matter. Whenever you reach to Him, He will surround you with his love and heal you in a way that you would never imagine. Pray. Ask Him for strength to make it through this situation. Don't drive yourself crazy asking why this had to happen- it's not for you to understand. Ask Him to heal your heart. Also, this may not be what you want to hear right now, but it also helps to pray for the soul that did this. Doing that will help you forgive that person, which helps with the healing process. Also, surround yourself with friends and family members that love you. This was a traumatic experience for you, seeing your partner this way, so you should definitely consider counseling too.
Remember, you will make it through this. You can only take it one day at a time, and eventually the pain will be easier and easier to bear. You will always feel a loss, but once you accept it, you can move on to be happy again. Remember, God loves you, and He is always, always there.
2006-09-02 20:47:14 · answer #4 · answered by Just gorgeous dahling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm terribly sorry- that sounds like an very traumatic experience that would leave anybody confused and full of despair. When somebody dies, there is nothing that you really can do but accept it and try to return to a normal emotional state. The one thing that you can take from this experience is the knowledge of how quickly things can change, so you can maybe shield yourself from future disappointment by not becoming too attached to moments that may not last.
2006-09-02 20:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by Clueless 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Not only are you dealing with losing someone you love, but you also have the trauma of how it happened to deal with as well.
My husband died over a year ago now, and I promise you that no matter how many people, credentialed or otherwise, try to make you believe otherwise, he IS still around - somewhat. My husband visited our youngest daughter (4 at the time) in a dream and he kissed her and said goodbye (the angels with him kissed her too). My children were out of state so they were not aware of what was going on....he has also helped me to find things as well. Take comfort in knowing that he is concerned for you and wants to make sure that you are okay.
Yes, you DID help him. He was comforted by you at the hospital. You were there for a reason, and you did the job being asked of you. Now it's your turn to be calmed and start heal.
2006-09-02 20:33:10 · answer #6 · answered by joycaro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG...if this is not a true story and I've been made a fool of, then oh, well. But I'm assuming it is...and I'm so sorry for your loss. That must have been so incredibly hard to go thru. I hate to be on the practical side here, but do you know who killed him?? Whoever it is needs to be behind bars! Anyway if I were you, I'd go for some counseling. Doesn't mean you're crazy; lots of ppl go to counseling to get help with different issues. A professional psychiatrist may be able to help you with some talk therapy...again, I'm so sorry you're going thru this hard time. God bless.
2006-09-02 20:23:13 · answer #7 · answered by peachy78 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bless you, friend. You have gone through something that most of us can only imagine. Your friend is still with you in your heart and will live on there. Turn to God for comfort. He is there with open arms waiting to hold you and comfort you. He will never leave you. Talk to Him when you miss your friend or when you feel you are losing your mind. If you do not have a place of worship, find one, you will find God's love there and people to care for you. He is waiting to hold you.
2006-09-02 20:19:12 · answer #8 · answered by Robin N 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hold on to your memories, I am so sorry for your loss. You might try some grief counseling. I know from experience it helps. May God Bless.
2006-09-02 20:23:53 · answer #9 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋