enters my heart.I am married and love my wife but how does a man free himself from the hurts,and regrets of what life could have been.I think about her all the time and yes I have two kids and the same goes with her.The issue is how can I just forget true love?
2006-09-02 12:52:29 · 24 answers · asked by paul 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the issue is not devorce but to endure the pain not to cause it. why l live in nothing but regret? thats the price for true love?
2006-09-02 13:05:05 · update #1
well we met in church then the church split up.there is somthing that two people connect with inside that effects every aspect of your soul.I guess its my falt for looking her up out of reclusion it hurts worse. your ans have been really really helpful
2006-09-02 13:17:53 · update #2
I am 34 years old and have been married for 10 years. correction I have 4 kids.Which does not make this easier
2006-09-02 13:22:53 · update #3
im sorry to say but you cant forget true love.. all you have to do is accept that you're really not meant for each other.. stop thinkin about what could have been if you chose to be with her.. coz if you'll not stop thinking about it sooner or later you'll let yourself to seek for something more than thinking about her.. move on and focus your attention to your family, they need you and they are the one who is with you now and they deserve to have your love and affection!
there's nothing wrong if once in a while you'll think about your true love just keep everything in balance and let it inspire and motivate you to do your best for your family! and be happy for yourself and for her too..
2006-09-02 13:01:04 · answer #1 · answered by keiCh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First we mens feel like that from time to time and special when is something new....
Not always is the real True love! Sometimes is like a change of menu and you get all confuse...then time go by and you realize have made a mistake and is too late... Your wife is gone kids are calling you BAD Daddy BAD!!!! and your new true love is gone with her true love.
What are you going to do? first before you make a mistake take some time off out of your wife and your true love stay for a couple weeks without any contacts of them.
Compare what have you done and why you think is a true love....Will my new true love do what my wife have done? Will she be there when I get sick? Remember all the good times no the bad times! that you have with your wife, the kids etc...then decide it is worth it to take a chance?
Because at soon your wife find out you will be on fire and she will decide for you and maybe you lose something that you never thought and is your wife your real true love.
Better something that you know than something new... and that paid you with the same coin, you are planning in paying your wife...you will never know until you lose it or gain it.
But think about it, you want to try something new in the menu take a vacation get an escort. :P
Sometimes not everthing that shine is gold. Maybe I am wrong and you are not happy with your wife and your new true love is for real, that is something that only you can find out.
I hope that everthing work out for the best. Cheers!
2006-09-02 20:32:39 · answer #2 · answered by Soyam I 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that you find the true love?
You know, after 18 years of marriage,you may feel a little bit bored and you need someone else just for a change , just to feel flirting again etc.Maybe you are confused because you love your wife too. it is not possible to love 2 different people.
I suggest you to calm down and avoid meeting the other woman.In the beggining it will be difficult but as the time pass, you will see that it was not something important.
Don't throw your life away , you will make a lot of people unhappy. And something else, be careful, your wife can understand that your mind is somewhere else and maybe she can be in love with someone else,I really don't believe you are going to be happy for this!
I want to say something more:someone wrote that life is short etc. I don't believe it is the right way. If everybody in this world do what is good only for himself, we are going to be destroyed. If you love some people, you don't hurt them!
Good luck, my friend!
2006-09-02 20:12:58 · answer #3 · answered by andelska 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say whether or not the two of you have actually met again, or talked, or what? Is she calling you? Are you calling her? That's an important aspect.
I forgot about my only other love interest finally, after I had been married several years, when it occurred to me that I had changed a lot since I was in love with this other guy. And he had probably changed a lot, too. So, we are no longer the same people we were then. My past love essentially no longer exists, because we are not the same people: we have grown more like our spouses, we have children who also have affected who we are.
That's the best way to look at it, to help yourself forget somebody in your past.
However, if you have already been in contact, or perhaps become reacquainted and are seriously considering leaving your spouse to be together..... then I'm afraid I can't help you with that. You will just have to hopefully consider the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How would you feel if your wife did that to you? Can you hurt her that much?
2006-09-02 19:58:25 · answer #4 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy. U have a wife and kids now. You would be a fool to let that go for someone from the past. You can be friends and try to resolve those old feelings without making more out of it. Sometimes men look to the past because the present has gotten stale or there is so much going on and not enough excitement or attention towards you. Direct all that energy you using to focus on this "true love" and spend more time with your family and add some romance into your real life!
2006-09-02 19:58:27 · answer #5 · answered by Lou Lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to forget the other person, remember what you have with them fondly, just as long as you remember your vow, all the good things that life has brought you with your current wife, and don't try to explore anything else. It sounds like you have had a great number of years with your wife, and there is no guarantee that you would have had the same with this other woman. Any number of things could have gone wrong with her, and then you wouldn't have the great life you have now. Be happy you are where you are instead of wishing for a fantasy, that probably wouldnt have looked quite so good if it would have happened
2006-09-02 20:04:28 · answer #6 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is exactly why man is not allowed to see his future. Quit thinking about what might have been and focus on what is. Its not having what you want but wanting what you have. There is no way of ever knowing you would have a better life or any happier with this true love than you have now. Also what makes you so sure that this true love would love you?This is why some of Gods best gifts are unanswered prayers. Just be thankful for what you have and consider yourself blessed. Good luck
2006-09-02 20:05:46 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone will ever forget a true love. Are you just remembering the old days or are you still in love after all these years. Or is it that your marriage has lost its passion? I don't think anyone can say they don't have regrets in life. And there will always be the one that got away as the saying goes but we can't turn back the hands of fate.
2006-09-02 19:58:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been here and done this. you need to see this person. If you don't, it will haunt you and ruin your marriage. If you see her and nothing has changed, at least you know what you are dealing with. No marriage can survive a ghost. Mine did not.
Do not be sneaky about it. Your goal is not to hurt your wife or have an affair. Your goal is to put this ghost to rest or find out if it is real. don't go down the email path. It leads to fantasies and destruction. You (and your wife) have to face this very real problem.
2006-09-02 20:20:12 · answer #9 · answered by xxxxxxxxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
iIdon't know how.You don't want to mess up your family by having a sneak around afair,for sure.My true love married a girl he got pregnant and the advise to him was divorce is wrong. Well to shorten the story this boy loved me from kindrgarten till the day he died. I met with his parents and they were sorry they encouraged him not to divorce because he was always so broken hearted for not marrying me.Maybe you want to be honest with your wife.I understand you are hurting. I miss my love so much it hurts and I have dreams about him for the last 20 years.I probably did n't say what you want to hear,but remember you could be reliving a fantasy.
2006-09-02 20:04:57 · answer #10 · answered by nancy e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋