I have been married now for about two years and me and my husband have been together for about 6 years. We have a daughter together and are expecting our second child in December. Before my husband got saved he was out there selling drugs and working to support us. He was a good provider for our family. He got caught up and went to court and is currently in jail. He has to do about 8 years if he doesn't get parole. I love my husband dearly and honor my wedding vows, right now it is just hard to deal with the situation being pregnant and everything else that is going on. What is one to do?
2006-09-02 12:45:11 · 17 answers · asked by chyna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Breath girl and ignore every negative comment you get on here...no one has the right to judge. Look, I can relate very seriously to what you are going through. My huband is also in prison and will be until 2008. Not 8 years, thank God (but I'm sorry about your man) but time is time! I know you are going through it. It is stressful, depressing and I know your thinking about your child and everything. Relax and breath and keep God in your life. Always keep a strong communication bond with your man. He will be weak too and you are to be his strength as he will be yours. You need to keep that bond tight. Lean on eachother. Help eachother get through this. I hope you have visits and I urge you to visit. My man is a 2 hour drive but I get up there to see him almost every weekend. The weekends I don't go, like this one, I am working. When your child is born, take him/her to the visit. I know you will get lonely, you are lonely especially now...your very emotional. Thats ok. Write him letters, focus on your future, the future of your child...that is what I am doing. I am making sure I take care of business so when he does get out we will be ok. I have to go and I have so much more to say but if you ever need to talk just hit me up. heatherlynnmorrow@yahoo.com
Good luck girl, and keep your head up. God is with the both of you.
2006-09-02 13:00:53 · answer #1 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone, I believe, has something like this happen at some point or another in their lives. In my opinion, you and her, like you said, just aren't meant to be. That is obvious by you guys fighting all of the time. What I think that you should do is cut ties with her until you can get control of yourself and your feelings for her. But once you do that, you probably shouldn't go back. The thing that you guys are doing, this on-again off-again thing, it is not doing either of you any favors. You and her both deserve something. Something that is good, and fun. Something that you can cherish for the rest of your lives. And since you guys cannot give each other that something, then it is time to move on. Maybe try to meet new friends. Join clubs. Try new hobbies. If you keep doing what you have been doing, the hobbies and such, especially anything that you guys enjoyed together, it will make you miss this girl even more, and push you right back into her arms. You should establish a you outside of your dysfunctional relationship with her. It is okay to miss her sometimes, and when you do reminisce on old pictures, listen to songs that make you feel better, go for a walk, call a friend, whatever it is that might make you happy. And when things get hard, just remember, everyone is special and unique, and I am sure that you are an amazing person, and you need to wait for that girl that will make you happy and appreciate how amazing you are. Once you meet the new, lucky lady, you will realize a lot about love and a lot about happiness that you don't know yet. I sincerely wish you the best in the future. Always remember, the past is the past for a reason. Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
2016-03-27 04:48:33 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the way you are speaking, you seem like a young woman who got caught up with a man who was into drugs, but since he has truly given himself to God (if he really did)... this is God's way of teaching and showing him what he has to do to make things right in his and the family life.
If you are true to your vows and feel that God has join you both as one, then you are in jail also. In the Bible it mention "What God has brought together... let no man separate"
You would have to commit to your husband and support him.
If and when your husband comes out of jail, you will know for sure if he is a changed man... for he will shine like a beacon that God has given him. He will put God first and then his family will follow.
You will see that he will be content with his family and support others that has gone through the same trials and tribulation.
As for you, I would get involve in a Bible Study Group, or a local church that you are involve with. Be around Christian that will not judge, but be supportive. A true Christian will not judge but support a fellow sister or brother in a time of crisis. They will help you and point you in the right direction of the path you must take.
If you're not a Christian, then you must ask God for forgiveness and except Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior... surrender to him.
Read: Rick Warren's book Purpose Driven Life: What on earth am I here for?
For there will be some of the answers that you seek will help you in your situation.
2006-09-02 13:38:57 · answer #3 · answered by run_stand_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl let me tell you nine time out of ten you do the bid with him and he loves you even more then what he did before he got knocked you are the world and the kids are his everything and when he comes home he will change and go legit no more on the block selling rock and you make those visits and accept the collect calls make sure he has food and money and clothes and all the other stuff they bug for but when he comes home he will most likely 4get about all of that and may leave you once he gets use to the streets again and trust and believe he will say do this bid with me be loyal to me you have alot to think about now if he loses at the board that's 8 joints he has to do so you will be taking care of him and you and the kids alone and he will want you to stay faithful for 8 yrs he inside and you outside you have to think its selfish for men to ask that yes he was a good provider but he isn't here right now so now the tables will have to turn but the difference is he is in there go with your heart but i know after awhile you will get tired of it
2006-09-02 13:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said yourself that you honor your wedding vows. So honor them. Yeah, the situation probably sucks, especially being pregnant, but God will honor you when you stick it out. Get some good support and help with the little ones from friends, family, church. Good luck hon!
2006-09-02 12:53:37 · answer #5 · answered by nic_tammyscott 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is this his first time dealing with drugs ? If yes then it's worth a try ......... But if not then drop him......... Get a job , being pregnant is not an EXCUSE it's a REASON for you to make the best out of life even if it means a life without the father . what good is the father to a child if he himself won't make a good role model ?
2006-09-02 13:02:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few thoughts....
How long was he clean for before he got caught?
It sounds like a lot of drama and stress thats probably not good for an unborn child.
Is he really the kind of father that you want raising your children?
8 years is a long time to wait around for someone who put his family in this position.
I would leave him...he sounds like trouble to me...
2006-09-02 12:55:21 · answer #7 · answered by Shannon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously his choices were not about you and his child, or he would've made some better choices. You have one and only one obligation now, and that's the child. He had his chance to be who he would've been.
You cannot put your life on hold for him. Move on, seek bigger and better things for yourself and that baby.
Let time run the course with your emotions and feelings, and realize you need more out of life. You didn't do the crime, so don't punish yourself by putting your life on hold for all that time. Good Luck!!!!!
2006-09-02 12:53:39 · answer #8 · answered by easygoingfemale44 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so glad he got saved.
Well, you take your vows seriously, that's great. It's had to raise kids on your own, especially if you're pregnant. You need to find a support group or maybe your church to help you will all this. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through all this and pray it all works out for you.
2006-09-02 12:53:13 · answer #9 · answered by swrong 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be true to yourself. think with your mind,not your heart right now. you have to supprt your family. but you have to keep your life moving. 8 years is a long time, to put your life on hold. you may love your husband dearly , but are you prepared to go 8 years without any male companionship. you may be setting yourself up to have to decieve your hubby.and make yourself into a liar. this is a very hard choice. take your time.
2006-09-02 12:59:43 · answer #10 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋