My best friend is not very attractive and a little bit overweight. She is also very unhappy with her body, and has no self-confidence. She has no love life, and no sex life. I know many of you will disagree, but I think she won't be attractive to men unless she losses some weight. I'm not saying this is right, I just think this is how it is. If you were me, would you tell her that she needs to lose weight? My position so far has been not to tell her, because I think she already knows it so there isn't much point. But she does nothing about it...
2006-09-02 12:22:49 · 51 answers · asked by iamalion 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Of course she already knows it! If you are a true friend, then you will love, support and accept her just as she is. The best way for you to help her is by building her self-confidence, not tearing her down further. Tell her all the wonderful things you see in her. You must see some special things in her if she's your best friend. Let her know what these things are. Help her feel good about herself by treating her to a facial or massage. Invite her to go walking with you or to the gym - make it fun.... Losing weight needs to be her decision, and hers alone.
2006-09-02 12:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by wondering 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell her it would just hurt her feelings and she is certainly aware of it. Besides looks aren't everything really this doesn't mean she won't find a nice looking guy if she has a nice personality. Perhaps she needs to get out and about more so she is in contact with the opposite sex more often then she now is. Tell her things to build help build her confidence , offer a make over in a polite manner such as hey I think you would look very nice with your hair in this manner and describe an outfit that may flatter the body she already has. A little confidence and the way she carries herself regardless of her looks can go a long way.
2006-09-02 12:33:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She already knows that she needs to lose weight, but there is a reason she is overweight. Telling her she needs to lose weight will just make her angry or depressed. Sometimes people gain weight in part BECAUSE they are depressed in the first place.
Exercise with her. Join an exercise class or a gym and invite her along.
2006-09-02 12:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by mollyneville 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really care about your friend then don't tell her. Believe me, she knows she's overweight. I practically AM ur friend lol. It's none of your business to take care of her love life and her sex life. It's also only her business, not yours, not her family's, not any of her other friends' business, if she wants to lose weight or not. Maybe she wants a guy who looks for more than looks? Because that's what I want. I want a guy who isn't as shallow as to go for my body. I mean you aren't her and you don't know how she feels about it so just leave it alone. If she wants to lose weight she will, trust me...she knows she isnt the thinnest person in the world. You asking her or telling her about her weight will only make her feel bad and then she might end up starving herself. i did that once when one of my friends told me i needed to lose weight...and since she told me that i havent held her nearly as dear to me as i did before that..do u want that to be u? so just leave it be hun
2006-09-02 12:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Salvora. Wow, what a tough situation. But I think your first instinct is right. If you can't be honest with a friend, then what good is that friend? I believe you should talk with her, but here is the point: it all depends on how you bring it up. Pick when and where carefully. You know her, so think of how to talk about that shows her you love her. This conversation has to be about your love, not her shame. Keep it on that level and you might have a chance. (Also, think buddy system....why don't you volunteer to go to Curves with her?)
2006-09-02 12:28:14 · answer #5 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't, because it should be obvious, but the decision has to come from her. I have a similar dilemma, except this friend is very convinced of her attractiveness, but it's obvious she could look even better and not be tired so much if she didn't have such awful eating habits. However I assume people have common sense and can make their own decisions. Well, that's my opinion about it.
2006-09-02 12:33:06 · answer #6 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and I have done that very thing but tactfully. I told my friend that I was very worried about his eating habits and that I didn't want to loose him to a young grave because of heart problems etc. caused by weight and poor neutrician. I also said I knew that telling him that was putting our relationship at risk, but that I cared enough to loose him if it meant he'd get healthy and happy. I also offered to do whatever I could to help - like having healthy snacks when he visited or working out together.
We're still friends. Good luck!
2006-09-02 12:24:29 · answer #7 · answered by Loresinger99 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
only if she wanted to hear it from me. I would love my friend just the way she is, or he is. That is IF I am her best friend indeed.
Friends are the people our heart chooses for life.
I don't answer questions they do not ask me... if she is unhappy, and she asks me why do you think is this? I would then say what I think, only then.
There is a huge difference in what I think the problem is with her and what IT really is....matters of perception!...
2006-09-02 12:28:51 · answer #8 · answered by Pi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt tell her if she already knows...all u have to do is encourageher to get out there and be more outgoing...everyone has their insecurities but being optimistic is the only way it wont lead to a distorted body image that can cause an eating disorder
also some people dont love or sex lives because of theyre religion or morals...it doesnt always have to do with how they view themselves
2006-09-02 12:31:40 · answer #9 · answered by xo_cuddly_kitten_xo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go 20 mph on your bike for 6 1 2 minutes
2016-07-29 21:41:36 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋