how to deal with difficult husband and a pornography addict. He is a Pastor.?

Question

Hello everyone pls advice me how to deal with difficult husband and a pornography addict. He is a Pastor that's my concern. Iam losing respect on him already and I really hate it. I become mad inside me that I want to always shout at him so I could express my anger why of all men in the world he is the one I marry...I am really mad. What will I do or act towards this kind of husband ...nasty...abusive (in words) rude.

And by the way he is 66 years old Pastor of christian church and has two degree. oh as if Im too proud of him........i really hate of what is doing to himself and to me as a wife........he is not treating me well.

In addition ....he is so proud of himself and always on a denial ...."never accept even if he knows that I know everything and I have proof. I am 38 years of age and he is 66 it funny(mad actually) for me to think about this stuff........ahhhhhhhhhh....I really want to be in peace no matter what....Please help me. THANK YOU ALL FOR GIVING TIME TO READ MY CONCERN......I REALLY APPRECIATE IT...

Answer 1

Let him know how you're feeling and also let him know that you're concerned that his congregation may find out about his "problems". Have you mentioned a marriage counselor to him? You shouldn't have to deal with his verbal abuse. Maybe if you left home for a couple or so weeks he might realize there is in fact a problem. Best of luck

Answer 2

Even though he is a pastor & 66yrs old, that does not mean that he is not human! You are only 38, and he married you and look at the age difference between the two of you! I don't understand why you are letting this bother you, unless you are jealous or something! You should not be ashamed about it! If it is bothering you so much then just get out of the relationship! What really doesn't make since is that it did not bother you to marry a man that is28yrs older then you, but it bothers you because he is a human being and not a saint! If he was a saint he would not have married a woman that is young enough to be his daughter, in the first place!!!!!
Did you ever think of that before you married him?

Answer 3

You sound incredibly angry at your husband for his insensitivity to your needs
I'm sure that this colors how you view everything else in your marriage, but are there any good points to being married to this man? For example, is he a good provider? Is he a good father? I'm not saying that these are enough reasons to stay married to him, I just want you to ask yourself these questions. Perhaps there are compelling reasons to stay with him. Only you can decide that.

You say that you have tried marital counseling but he always quits it because he thinks it's pointless. Without outside intervention I doubt that he will look at the impact that his behavior is having on you, or be willing to change. If you are not currently in therapy, I would recommend that you find someone immediately to help you sort through all of this. You may choose to stay with him or you may decide that you want a separation and/or divorce. If you choose to leave then you would also benefit from a support group and your daughter may also need a therapist to help her adjust to the new situation.

Answer 4

Well frankly it depends on where you are. You can record audio and video all you want. It just can't be brought to evidence into a court matter. It can be used as a type of evidence to attempt arrest or prove contempt but it needs to be a clean recording. In this case since he is editing his own comments out, this wouldn't even be considered worthy of hearing, let alone action. Frankly if you are in a place of privacy, where a person can reasonably expect to not be recorded, the result is not going anywhere. If you are in a public place or have placed signs regarding video recording, you can run into issues. The thought brought to mind here is, "why the heck are you still there"?

Answer 5

That just shows that no matter what, a man is going to look at porn. How can he feel good about himself when he is telling others that porn is such a bad thing and he is doing it himself. It does not have nothing to do with you as being a women it just is so much out there and men are visual. He needs to talk to another Pastor about this and try to seek help if the addiction is really bad.

Answer 6

It sounds like your husband has serious problem and needs to talk to God about it , do alot of praying for him , believe me if he is a true christian God will show him the error of his ways and God will chastize him , nothing is hidden from God , as a pastor he knows this and there is something causing this to happen and i am sure he knows what it is maybe he is ashamed to talk about it in a civil manner so he tries to deal with it the way he is , let him know you are open to listen to him and will help in any way possible , men at this age do things out of certain insecurities espcially at his age being married to someone your age , i am not saying the age is bad what i am saying is certain things start to happen to them and sometimes they are just looking for a way to fix what only God and a doctor can fix .

Answer 7

I know this is probably an immature response, but ...when i read what you've said, I think I would be seriously considering a divorce by now.

A rude man, that treats you disrespectfully, is one of the hardest things to change in a man...and if he has a tendency to get worse as time goes by, and to take you for granted, than it might escalate into worse actions towards you.

I would try to talk to him about how his nasty ahbits are making you feel angry...If it doesn't work, a slight period of time apart might be enough for you to find in your hearth the right path towards your happiness.

Answer 8

First off anything is ok in balance we all have sometime in our life tried to find and discover about our sexuality> The key is balance ,in the church there are many that are not in touch with God because they are not in touch with the devine spirit that is in all of us.I am God aware not just because I go to church but because I have learned to meditate in silence we find God.If You what to be a higher self I will give you a clue when you lose sense of time you will be there get your mind off of your self this man is not God aware and very selfish and out of balance sick.Take him to the doctor, many pastors are not who you think they are.You can go to church means nothing it is how you live your life it is in the living keep busy jesus coming back but no man know the hour we are servants to love and to be God's helper, being a parent , helping the homeless, the blind ,being married in love.

Answer 9

First off are you a Christian? If so then you need to pray for your husband. A lot of people do not know but pornography the addiction to pornography is demonic. It is classified in the Spirit of Whoredoms. You will need to pray get guidance from the Holy Spirit on how to deal with this anoint that man with oil in the name of Jesus, anoint your home, your bed and whatever else he touches. Matt 18:18 tell us what ever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. so stand strong against those demons and begin to praise the Lord, because God inhabits the praises of His people.

Answer 10

Time to consider moving on> You dont need to put up with this stuff and his abuse. It really would be interesting if his church elders knew of his extra ciricular activities. It sounds like your marriage may be beyond repair so file for divorce and file for everything you are legally entitled to. I think God would forgive you on this one. Dont get into playing his game because it will only destroy the rest of your dignity and its just not worth getting into a shouting match with him. So channelyour anger into a plan on how to move on and let your husband figure out what hes lost because of his acts. God will deal with him later. Good luck