I am strongly against it. My parents are considering. My sister is in Africa, the man is in the USA
2006-09-02 11:51:24 · 29 answers · asked by onyi 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I think at the age of 17 that your parents would have to consent (in America) because she would still be a minor here, (not 18), I do not know the laws in Africa? I have to tell you that this man sounds like a child molester or something (we call them preditors) they prey on young girls & boys, sometimes they use them as sex slaves for the pleasure of other older men and themselves. I cannot ever imagine consenting to anything like this for my own child. There is a good chance if you reported this to American authorities they could investigate this man, he sounds like a pervert to me. Has he offered your parents or your sister any incentive (payment) in exchange for their consent to this?
Oh this just seems so wrong to me in so many ways! I think I would talk to the American authorities where the man lives and have him investigated (to see if he is a sexual predator). Perhaps he is going to take your VERY young sister far away from her home and family and turn her into a gift for himself and his other perverted male friends. This is creepy and it's wrong and it could cost your sister her freedom, her happiness and her life!
When I was 17 nothing in the world would have turned me OFF like the thought of some nasty old man fumbling and pawing at me! I get the creeps now trying to think what he may have in mind. You can do this without anyone's help. If you know his full name and the city where he lives you could contact the authorities. The FBI handles many international things now. I believe they could do an investigation on this guy to find out if he is just a creepy and lonely old man or a real sick perverted child predator who may sell your young sister into a life of prostitution or pornography! I would contact the FBI and explain the situation to them, give them all of the details that you can find out about this man, tell them that he is trying to lure your young sister and your parents and everything that you can find out about the situation. If you are worried that your family may be angry, then consider that you could set up a private mailbox right here at Yahoo and have the American Authorities contact you via email. If they find out the man is some kind of sick freak who only means harm to your sister, then it's better to know BEFORE she gets involved! So many horrible things happen to young girls all over the world.
I would try it, if he comes out clean and sincere, then all I can say is at 17 I know I would have been creeped out by a 50 year old man! Your sister needs to know that although these kinds of relationship DOES happen that she will be far from home and family. If this man decided to sell her off as a sex slave to other perverts that she may not have any control at 17! It would be like he would be her guardian as much as he would be her husband, so she would be bound to him, and may be forced to do as he wants.
I am sorry this is happening to your sister, but you have done the right thing, by acting out of concern for her! Here is a link you can and should contact the FBI about all of this, just to be sure the guy is not some kind of freak who will hurt your sister or destroy her young life. Seriously! Good luck, I hope if she is determined to do this that he is not some twisted sick pervert. It is illegal in this country for old men to lure young girls away from their families into who knows what kind of situation, you may be saving your sister's life, and if the man has NOTHING to hide, then he can stand the investigation! It NEVER hurts to be certain!
This makes me feel sick and uneasy. I hope if something is wrong that what you do may save your sister! Please do not wait, do it soon! While he is waiting on your sister he may be harming other young girls or women. There are some REAL sick people in this world!
2006-09-02 12:39:08 · answer #1 · answered by ruthie_msw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your parents don't think much of your sister. Maybe your parents honestly believe that this is the best that your sister will ever get .I 'm wondering if this 50+ guy offered your parents money to do this- a bride price as it were.
Regardless it's bad situation. No 17 year old kid should ever get married and the age of the spouse has nothing to do with it.
Even if on the outside chance that the guys intentions are real and sincere, there is a whole world of experience , accomplishment and education that your sister will never realize
There are certain battles that must be fought and whether or not they are winnable should not enter the calculation.
Fight your parents and the 50+ guy on behalf of your sister. In all likely-hood you will lose .But put up the fight anyway because you know that it's the right thing to do.
2006-09-02 19:11:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like "human trafficking", or mail order bride stuff to me. If she is doing it just to get out of Africa, and of her own free will, then she will have to live with the choices she makes. If she has no say in the matter because of tradition or desperation, then I would say that with some help, she should find a better way, like trying to get a work Visa, or a student exchange program or something. You didn't say what your sister thinks about it, after all it's her life. If you are in a position to help her, do so, but if not, then get her as much information as you can for her to act upon!
2006-09-02 19:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by macfifty06 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm not good on many levels.
When she is 25 she will be a different person and he will be close to 60. If she give birth he may not want a baby around. Or she may not want a baby and he may want one instantly.
She has plenty of time to get married. Heck I got married the second time when I was 45. Please encourage her to wait and prosecute this guy for hanging around high schools.
2006-09-02 18:55:36 · answer #4 · answered by What?? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't mind an age difference, but, I think in this case it is just a little bit to wide of a gap. Just be honest with your sister and tell her that it is not a good thing. I am trying to figure out what the heck would they talk about.
2006-09-02 18:55:36 · answer #5 · answered by morris 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her if she cant see the difference in age , in 10 years time he ll B 60 years old and she ll B 27 . a man of 60 S realy old man cannot cope with 27 years old woman .
2006-09-02 19:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by samers 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe that is wrong ! a little age difference is ok but 30 + years is a little ridiculouse your sister could find someone her age that complimants her instaed of someone who she will have to take care of before she is 30 ! She wont have much chance to have a life or have kids .
2006-09-02 18:56:37 · answer #7 · answered by brandi.smiles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, as long as she wants it, you nor nobody else should try to stop her. she has the right to make any choice she wants--be it good or stupid.
if she's being pressured into it by the guy or there's come alterior motive to the marriage, then i'd step in and try to talk to her.
but the worst thing you can do is disown her and cast her away once she get's married. she's going to do what she wants.
liberty and choice for all, that's nothing you can take away or change without discontentment.
later.
2006-09-02 18:57:08 · answer #8 · answered by N/A 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you on this one! Such an age difference is way wrong and the fact that they are not even on the same continent worries me! How did they meet and do they see each other often!?
It also could possibly be that she is looking for a father figure. Is she/was close to your father at all?
2006-09-02 18:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by Rx 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please don't let her go. America is a wonderful country, but any 50 year old man that wants to marry a teenager will not be a good husband and your sister will get hurt.
2006-09-02 18:53:14 · answer #10 · answered by emp04 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋