My husband and I have decided to seperate, he is a chronic cheater....however we can't afford to live in seperate living quarters. Money is really tight right now. We also have a 10 year old who means the world to me. He will be devistated by this seperation. Has anyone been through something like this before?
Help!
2006-09-02 11:44:40 · 16 answers · asked by spicylikepepper 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i know a couple that couldn't get along. the husband moved into his sons room. permanently and forever. those bunk beds came in handy
2006-09-02 11:49:44 · answer #1 · answered by Ms Berry Picker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anything is possible. Ive heard of this arrangement many times before but has always caused more problems than good. You have justifiable reasons for doing so, but living in the same house with your husband knowing what he is, is probably going to tear you apart. And its not going to do your son any good either. You might be better off if you have a friend to go to or a relative that would help. I seriousily doubt if youre going to like this in a short time. None of those I helped did. Good luck and if you need further advice email me .
2006-09-02 18:53:59 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, i havent, i mean ive been seperated but never like that.. although u may think ur saving ur child from heartache all ur doing is prolonging the enevitable, so eventually she will have to go through the pain..
I think if u handle it properly with ur husband perhaps it can work, but i have a feeling that enevitably their will be a problems, eventually he's going to want to go out and so are u, and someone has to decide who is going to be the "babysitter" that night.. or he will want people calling the house, it will eventually become a very unhappy household and unfortunately i fear that ur child will eventually be affect by this if things arent handled correctly ..
If ur going to do this, their should be rules set in place.. no one of the opposite sex allowed over, none to be involved with ur child at any point , not even for a minute or two.. all phone calls should be on cell phones and the cell phone should never be left where ur child can get to it.. u and him have to pretend to be a happy couple although ur not, but for her sake for this arrangement to work it has to, and im guessing ur not longer sleeping in the same room so how long do u think it will take her to catch on???
How can u handle knowing ur husband is out with another woman, screwing her yet coming home and u have to just sit there and say or do nothing yet put up with it?? at this point u mine as well just stay married, and deal with the fact that he is always going to have sex with another, saying ur seperated for financial reasons or because of your daughter is B.S. ur still living as husband and wife ur still putting up with the same B.S. nothing has really changed.. so if ur going to stay, then stay married for ur daughter. I mean ur willing to give up everything to be miserable anyways.. why not?
2006-09-02 19:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible to be separated and live in the same house. You just treat each other like roommates, You need to move into your own room, and go on about your life. Your separated now, so you don't have to do things together. As for the money part, you will have to work that part out together but it is possible. Good Luck...
2006-09-02 18:49:02 · answer #4 · answered by Not the one for you! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are "separated" but living together what is separate? That you've agreed to dissolve or break the marriage vows is the only thing that arrangement will accomplish
How are you going to feel when you are living together and he openly starts dating other women? If he stays out all night, brings women home or women call the house for him? How will your son feel seeing that stuff?
I think you should think about which one of you can stay with a relative or friend to move out.
2006-09-02 19:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by Vicki B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never been in this situation but I think your son is old enough to know that something is just not right in the relationship. If he continues to make you angry what makes you think being seperated and living under the same roof is a good thing for your child.
2006-09-02 18:51:18 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ideally, the two of you should be in separate residences, but since money is an issue, one of you can sleep in the bedroom and the other on the couch or in another room. But I would check with a lawyer, because I don't believe that would be considered separated under the law since you are living under the same roof.
2006-09-02 22:22:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to help your 10 year old to see you arguing in the same household. And he's going to see tension at the vey minimum. If your not ok with your husbands cheating (and why would you be!) then kick him to the curb! If you still want to live in a family atmosphere with him then try couples counslining or accept his behavior for what it is. But I personally believe that any woman deserves better.
2006-09-02 18:51:13 · answer #8 · answered by Female Racer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know of a few but they didn't stay in the same house. If you know your child is going to be devistated then maybe u should wait to separate.You two made him so he comes first.Please don't argue infront of him and wait till he gets alittle older. Cheating husbands never stop either....
2006-09-02 18:51:41 · answer #9 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't "separate" and be in the same house. Way too many ifs ands or buts in life for that.
What if he brings home a girlfriend... since you're separated now he'll think he can do that. Or, what if, you decide to bring home a boyfriend? Lord have mercy, wouldn't that be awkward?
2006-09-02 18:47:53 · answer #10 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well just to let you know what you are doing will have a resounding effect on the child, i know i lived it
now as for this trial separation, it is nothing but a green light for your hubby and you to go and play the field again with no consequences or concerns about the other, and the child will eventually pay the price for this scenario as his idea of what a loving family is will turn out to be made up of lies and deceit
2006-09-02 18:52:05 · answer #11 · answered by free2chat_tou 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋