What did you feel.when you read my Poem and grade it from 1 to 10?

Question

Astral Dreams,

To the Stars


Flying through the astral plane,
To project up and away, before I go insane.
At least there I can dream and fantasize,
About what I don’t have , as I rise.
I create whatever I wish.
Lighting candles and rocks in my dish
Praying for love, reaching for it, from the stars.
Is there just one more man for me from Mars.
I have so much to give, to someone special for me.
Cast a spell to the astral plane ,where I pray.
Oh God, Please don’t let me live alone the rest of my days.

Answer 1

Nice, you have talent. Although I don't know what lighting candles and ROCKS, in my dish is all about.
I am a descendant of Longfellow, and I'm sure he would approve.
I give it a 7 also.

Answer 2

7

Answer 3

7

Answer 4

7 1/2

Answer 5

8

Answer 6

no longer a bad poem. The question's honest---and, i've got self assurance, the respond telegraphs how useful the poet could be interior the critic's place! I reckon sort of that one in 8 of my poems is well worth a 2nd reading, and of that lot perhaps one in 4 is well worth a third. sooner or later i might write a poem well worth a fourth reading, yet while i do no longer, that's ok. i might have the potential to nudge those numbers up somewhat, if I have been prepared to spend extra time in revision than I do. yet i'm no longer so prepared; I have been given purely 168 hours interior the week, and that i've got been given purposes for 2 hundred hours interior the week. Somethin's gonna get starved for my time.

Answer 7

I've just said this to someone else; the people whose criticisms are worth reading, are not answering these questions - the rate-my-poem questions.

Believe me, this is not the place to get poetry critiques. I have never yet found a poem on Yahoo that I could even finish reading, they are that poor. If you really want a qualified opinion, send it to poetry magazines of good reputation and see if they publish it. Those are the opinions that matter.

I'm afraid that people who say these poems are wonderful are people who are not good poets. I don't think you should trust their answers. I have had quite a lot of poetry published, and been paid for it, and I am not going to criticize this one because there is nothing positive I can say about it.

Good luck for the future.

Answer 8

7.
I know how the person portrayed feels. nice thoughts.

The line length/ lack of metre suggests Free-style yet you attempt to use rhyming couplets that collapse in the final 3 lines.

Rhymes are an aide d'memoire (or whatever - they help you remember, that's why kids stuff has so many).

Pick a style, in fact go for 3, then edit your work to fit each in turn. Use the style that fits it best.
styles
1: rhyming poetry, all lines in symmetry, verses for a song, that's where they belong. (symmetry - equal syllables, not necessarily every line; see "Amazing Grace" for simple example)
2: free-style -say what you want and break for a new line
on words that hold
dramatic impact.
3: Sonnett (look it up, it's seriously difficult)

Answer 9

Refrain from a would-be poet's mistake
When rhyming for rhyme's own sake:
Rhyme alone cannot a poet or a poem make.

These three lines rhyme, but they are not a poem.

The imagery was good but the rhyme scheme seemed forced.

Forced rhyme just sounds like bad greeting card verse. Let yourself go with that imagery without editing or censoring yourself. Write without regard to rhyme. Give yourself permission to write anything. If you go back to it and find that you can add rhyming elements, fine, but lots of great poets wrote and write without rhyme at all.

Writing in rhyme is a good skill and a fine discipline as a writer, but don’t let rhyme dictate to your writing.

Answer 10

It was good, but lines 2, 7 and 10 are a little long.
7