Your mom (an alcoholic) is cheating on your dad after 15 years of marriage. She gets you in the middle of it by pretending he is coming over to teach you lessons on a musical instrument, while your dad is at work. After a couple of lessons, you are no longer getting lessons, but the guy keeps coming over and your mom and he disappear, start going out together, with one another while dad works. Then dad figures out what's going on . Fighting starts between your parents, but mom keeps the affair going and then walks out of the marriage and leaves . 2 months later, your best friend writes you a letter that says your mom and her dad (not the guy she was cheating with) were together at her house. 2 months later, your mom moves in with your best friends dad, and tells you to keep it a secret from your dad. But this only creates problems between you and your dad (by lying to him). Then your dad finds out what's going on and feels your mom is trying to influence you. How do you feel?
2006-09-02 11:02:31 · 7 answers · asked by jerry 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im not a teenager, but believe it or not i once was, and my parents to are divroced..and i went through similar things but not exactly, im also the mother of 3 and i am divorced from their father.. so im pretty well expirenced in this type of situation from all view points..
Sweetie what ur mom is doing is wrong.. i know u love her, and u always will but shes not thinking clearly when shes putting u in the middle of her relationship with ur dad... and is asking u to lie .. Shes only asking u to lie to keep herself out of trouble , she knows what she's doing is wrong or she wouldnt ask u to lie about it, if she thought she was doing right she wouldnt mind ur dad knowing about it or ask u to keep it from him.. true?
Unfortunately your mom is going through something within herself that she isnt thinking clearly and she has become very selfish , and non-caring of anyones feelings or who she hurts, including u...do i think shes doing it on purpose? no.. i dont think she is, but i dont think she's thinking things out either..
You should never feel like u cant tell ur dad anything... he's ur dad, and from what u've said in your question the only one that is doing the "right " things.. if u feel the need to tell ur dad anything then do so, if u dont want to , then dont, but do it for yourself not because anyone is saying u can or cant...
Your dad is right that she is influincing you, which all parents do, but unfortunately shes influincing u in a bad way at this point.. stick with ur dad, he's thinking on a clear head and he seems to be wanting whats best for you, which u are and should be their biggest priority...
Let mom do what she's gotta do, love her, but u dont have to agree with what she's doing.. but realize she's not thinking like a parent should, and ur dad is....... your mom is a grown up...she is making her own decisions, right or wrong, she's doing what she's doing and capable of knowing the outcome to these situations, u are still a kid.. and she SHOULDNT be putting u in the middle.. and u should politely tell her to leave u out of it..instead of making u feel u have to take sides..
Ask urself how many times ur parents in the past, told u that lying isnt acceptable.. ??? probably many in ur life.. u probably got into big trouble at times for lying.... so if they taught u not to lie.. why should u lie for them??????? u shouldnt.. only demeans the man ur becoming.. be a good man, always do what is right, learn from the mistakes ur parents make, know that this isnt the way to go, and u chose the path u want to take in life, dont let them bring u down, be strong, be a good man, always do what is right, and u'll be just fine..
Good luck hun..
2006-09-02 11:29:59 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awwwe Honey… i'm not a teenager, i'm 25, yet close sufficient, i became there not too some time past… i won't think of why you're having this form of annoying time. perhaps you reside in a small city?? i could supply it time, while you're in simple terms sixteen, there will be a good number of alternative ladies so you might meet after severe college… Why is it which you want a relationship precise now?? supply your college the entire interest, dangle out with your individuals, have a stable time and you may meet somebody. Get your self in touch with activities after college, some that contain human beings from diverse factors, open your self as much as extra human beings… you may come for the time of as desperate, which isn't stable. Take it gradual, replace right into a pal first… see the place it is going. you're too youthful to have a severe relationship precise now. It feels like your epidermis is fairly bothering you…. you may desire to ask your mothers and fathers to take you to a dermatologist. they actually can artwork wonders, it feels like on your epidermis and your self-rather worth!
2016-11-23 19:44:23 · answer #2 · answered by akerley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a teenager anymore (sigh) but I think the best thing for you to do, is try and stay out of it.
Both your parents are the adults and they should act like it. Neither one of them should be getting you involved. You love both your parents (despite what your mom is doing) and you shouldn't have to choose.
Your mom needs to go to AA to get the help she desparately needs. I am guessing your father isn't a drinker and as a result, she is seeking out others like herself. People who won't lecture her on quitting but join her in a "little" drink. Hopefully, your dad will realize this and get her into a program as soon as possible. I'm not saying it will save their marriage, it may be too late for that, but at the very least, you will get your mom off the sauce and acting like herself once again.
Good luck. I hope they both realize they are the adults and start acting like it once again.
2006-09-02 11:16:12 · answer #3 · answered by I love my husband 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but your mom is horrible. Putting all that pressure on you must be so hard for you. I was in a situation similar to that, only not as bad and severe,and it was really hard for me. I would be honest with both of your parents. I would tell your mom how much what she is doing bothers you. As far as your dad, i would either be honest if he asks about what your moms up to or just tell him that you don't want to get in the middle of it. With such dysfunctional parents, i also suggest you see a counselor. Believe it or not, what your parents, especially your mother, are doing is abuse.
2006-09-02 11:12:59 · answer #4 · answered by Violet 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know you must feel bad, but your best bet is to stay out of it. Tell your dad that you do not want to be involved with their problems, and that this is just because you want to be able to have a relationship with both of them. Tell him that you choose to not discuss him with her, or her with him, just so that you can stay on neutral ground and not cause more arguments between them. He should understand and respect that.
2006-09-02 11:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a teenage girl but a 26 yr. old woman and damn, this is a deep story. I am feeling so sorry that you have to go through this bs. Wow, all I can say is Sorry, dude.
2006-09-02 11:06:44 · answer #6 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TERRIBLE,TERRIBLE,TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-02 11:18:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋