spoiled son?

Question

ive gotten my son in the habbit of falling alsleep with my husband and i then putting him in his crib. hes 2 monthes old, and i dont want him to be one of those kids who sleeps with his parents. do i just put him in his crib and let him cry himself to sleep, or do i just let it go and stop him wgen he gets older, or is there something else i can do?

Answer 1

With both of my babies I would put them to sleep when they were fed and dry, but awake. If he gets into the habbit of falling asleep in your arms or in your bed, it may be harder later to get him to go to sleep on his own. Neither of my babies cried however, so it wasnt a challenge for me. I would suggest trying to get him to sleep on his own while awake. They learn how to sooth themselves, and then are able to fall asleep by themselves if they wake up during the night too. I would never let a baby cry itself to sleep though. I would suggest putting him to bed awake, and if he starts to cry go back every 5 min or so. Reasure him by rubbing his tummy, but don't talk and don't pick him up. This way he knows that you're still there and he's not abandoned. Eventually he will fall asleep and hopefully he'll get to a point where he won't cry at all. I would never just let a baby cry it out though. I hope this helpls. God Bless

Answer 2

Kids will vary extremely on their readiness for sleeping alone. When a child is under 8 months old, it is not even fully developed. It is totally appropriate and loving to let him fall asleep with you and, since you don't want him in your bed, to put him in the crib.

(If you left him in bed with you, your nursing would go significantly better and meet his needs more.)

If you let a 2 month old cry unattended, I think you could right now write off a decent relationship with him. You would utterly destroy his trust in you. In the first year of life, the child's psychological task is to negotiate trust vs mistrust. He learns from mom - is mom there every time I need her? Is the world a reliable place? When baby cries to get her needs met (cause what other tools does she have?) does it work or does she learn that she is powerless? These are high stakes and day care and crying it out are extremely damaging practices in children under 3 years old.

Answer 3

I felt the same way with my son when he was about two months old. I really worried that he was going to sleep in my bed forever. I thought about it for awhile and decided that when he was about three months I would try letting him sleep in his bed. By that time, he was getting up around 2-3 times at night. Anyway, I let him cry it out for the first time about 3 weeks ago, right before he turned three months. Although it was very difficult, the first night he cried for 30 min, second night 20 min, third night 5 min, and so on, it was very worth it. Everyone gets more sleep now- my son only gets up once at night (he's a week past three months now), and my husband and I don't have to sleep stiff worrying about rolling over on the baby. Make a vow to yourself that you can handle it, and take the plunge when YOU are comfortable.

Answer 4

It soon will be the time to slowly get him used to being put to bed awake and falling asleep on his own. That doesn't mean you have to let him scream and cry himself to sleep. If he is crying, go in to the room, reassure him verbally and pat him, but don't pick him up, then leave. Wait a little longer each time before going in. It's a lot harder for them to teach themselves to fall asleep the older they get. This is called the Ferber method and it worked for me. You can still rock your baby to sleep sometimes and hold him while he sleeps - for me those are some of the best baby memories.

Answer 5

It will be harder on you later if you let him sleep with you or your husband. It will become a habit and you will lose your bed to your baby. It's okay to put him in the crib and cry, but if he cries a long time, go back every 10 minutes for awhile then go back every 20 minutes and so on and so on whatever suits you and your baby best, it's just to reassure him that you're still there. It takes time and patience.

Answer 6

What is wrong with letting him fall asleep with his father and then putting him into his crib? I rocked my daughter to sleep until she decided she was "too old" for it. Maybe that's why her and I are still close today and never had any of the "teen/mom" problems alot of female teens and their mother's do. Food for thought.

Answer 7

Put him in his crib to sleep - it is perfectly ok for babies to cry a little bit. Your son will get used to sleeping in his crib and you don't want it to become a habit for him to have to fall asleep with you.

Answer 8

I know it's hard, but better to break the habit now, than have a 6-year old that still needs mom and dad in his room to go to sleep (no lie, that's my nephew.)

I used the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" with my 3-year old to get her to fall asleep on her own-- 2 months old is a little young, but if his sleep patterns have been established, you could get started. Basically, it's a series of steps that helps your child transition from his routing of having you rock him to sleep to having him fall asleep in his crib with you nearby, to eventually letting them fall asleep in the crib by themselves. It took a few months, but since we've done it, we've had ZERO sleep problems with her (both napping and at nighttime).

Glad you're thinking of changing the pattern sooner rather than later- I know my sister wishes she had done it before now!

Answer 9

I also don't believe in having the baby in mom and dad's bed. How about a co-sleeper for awhile? If you don't want to try that then I suggest moving his crib into your room for awhile. Since he's not used to sleeping on his own, it would be a good idea having his bed in your room since he'll probably be waking up in the middle of the night. If he wakes up--don't pick him up. Just walk over to his crib and softly "sshh" him and soothe him that way. He needs to learn how to soothe himself to sleep and if you pick him up he won't ever learn to do that. Anyway, good luck.

Answer 10

At two months old, it is impossible to spoil your son! He needs the comfort of you and your husband right now, enjoy it because they grow up too fast. When he is around 6 months you may want to start transitioning him to his own bed. Early Childhood Education and research says that a child that young cannot be spoiled.