I have two children 16months and 11yr old He is not supporting them in anyway. I have not heard or seen from him in a week nor have the kids. I was left with the house and bills while he has up and dissapeared. What do I do? I filed for immediate support but they may take a while.. He is getting away with this, I dont know what he is up to and it is scaring me. I am doing this all on my own. I do not have the money for a lawyer, I need something done now!. He is a dead beat father who could care less about his children. He has not seen them in 3 weeks. Hes too busy running around trying to impress girls "girls" hes forty with the money he says he has. But he isnt givining any to his two girls.. He makes me sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-02 09:59:01 · 10 answers · asked by carol s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel for u.. my husband also left me abruptedly and with 2 small children..luckily for me most of our bills were in his name and his name only so he ended up with the back lash of paying those bills.. I paid only ones that were neccessities to my children , and those that were in my name or had my name on them.. we didnt own a house , but we were renting, and the lease was up we had signed it, but he didnt turn it in, so i had 2 weeks to find a new place to live.. luckily for me my mother let me stay with her for a month till i found my own place, something i could afford on my own.. my x husband at first did see the kids but only when it was convient for him and only paid his child support when it was convient for him as well.. so my best advice i can give u.. is to unfortunately move out of the place ur in, budget for what u can definately make on ur own.. because men like these, never pay their child support consistantly there will always be times they feel they dont have to pay or just dont want to pay.. on the times he does once u are capable of sustaining a place on ur own, then it will be for extra's at that point , and u should possibly put some of it away in a account so that one day u can afford a better place.. Dont force him into being a father to ur kids as far as him actually showing an interest.. thats something he has to take upon himself, if he wants to drift away let him, emotionally, but sock it to him financially.. because i made the mistake of covering for my my x with my kids and trying to force him to be a real dad, and all that did was make my x look like a god to them, and my kids constantly being let down by someone they love, cause he only calls maybe once every 4 or 5 months, he in 10 years has only seen them approx 10 times, 2 times just in the last 6 years.. and my youngest could care less about him but my oldest still holds out hope that his dad will miraculously become the dad he wants him to be.. but gets kicked in the teeth each time by his own father with phrases like " your sisters (kids he has with his new wife) need me more then u and ur brother" or
"We'll see when the summer comes" yet when the summer comes , he always has something going on that he cant see them.. so dont make the same mistakes i did, if he drifts let him, that way ur kids will get over the hurt once and for all where prolonging it in hopes that ur x will stand up to the plate, only causes a constant tramatic pain for your children, when one moment he's there, and the next he's not.. So prepare for the worst, hope for the best... but protect u and ur kids at all costs, and dont become dependent on him cause he is obviously an unreliable source.. and if u become dependent on him financially , u'll live a life of constantly having the rug ripped out from under ur feet when he feels like he doesnt have to pay .. but do make him pay through the state.. get the state involved, because if u dont, then every time he stops paying u'll have to get a lawyer, something i know i cant afford everytime my x plays his games, and the state will go after him for u, take away his drivers license, and go after his tax refunds ect..
2006-09-02 10:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, ain't you glad he is gone? Maybe not right now -but you will be later. I know in Missouri when you go ask for help(food stamps and everything) the first thing they ask is "where is the father?". Then they will ask what is his ssn# . They track down where he works and they get a child support case going.Like someone else said you can get a lawyer through legal aid , but it takes a long time. Do you have any relatives that can help you in this time of need? I would be asking for a little help from relatives and friends and be looking for a job(if you don't have one). If you can't afford the house -move to something you can afford. You can also get help with a babysitter through D.H.S.. I would show him that i did not need him and i can make it and take care of my kids on my own. He may just change his tune.
2006-09-02 11:11:07 · answer #2 · answered by gee-geeofmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go talk to the state division of child support where you live, and they will advise you. My wife worked for some time as a child support enforcement officer, and they are very good at extracting money from deadbeat parents. If you have not yet filed for divorce, do so.
2006-09-02 10:07:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank your lucky stars he is out of the home. Thank god he left instead of him fighting for you and your kids to leave. Keep fighting for support. It does not mean that you will get anything. Who cares what he is up to he is a loser and he does not care about you and your children. Why worry about him. He will get his in the end. When he ages even more no woman is going to want him. He will have nothing to offer. Find someone else and move on. Good luck to you and your kids.
2006-09-02 11:41:24 · answer #4 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend your situation happens to a lot of women everyday so you are not alone if he is a dead beat father maybe your better off without him but first you have got to be strong not only for yourself but especially for your children then seek advice their must be free legal advice you can get around your area about what your entiled to I always say to the women out their its always good to have your OWN bank account cause you never know what situations you might find yourself especially when married good luck and I hope things will work out for you but i am sure they will be strong OK
2006-09-02 10:55:32 · answer #5 · answered by jaci 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact your states legal aid assoc.for free help. File for divorce on the grounds of abdonment. Once the judge awards you immediate custody of your children and child support, the state child support collection agency will help you locate him. You will need his social security number and a good guess of his whereabouts. He sure is going to be shocked when the law catches up with him and his money starts disappearing to you. They will garnish his wages and any tax refunds he gets. Legal aid will help you with all this and where to get immediate help to survive for now Good luck
2006-09-02 10:22:35 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legal Aid can assist you in getting an attorney - it should be in your local phone book. Legal Aid charges little to nothing (sliding scale fees) for their services. Also if you are getting any services such as food stamps or AFDC the social worker that assists you can help with tracking him down and garnishing wages. They help with that as they want to see him pay you child support as much as you want him to pay support. You need assistance with getting your finances squared away. Get a lawyer and consult with social services in your county - they might be able to provide temporary relief in the way of ER grants or food assistance. Most important is a lawyer - you need help to steer you through all this.
2006-09-02 10:06:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to Consumer Credit Counseling Service. They are on the internet if not in your town. They will help you with your creditors.
Get a good voodo doll for dad.
2006-09-02 10:49:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for child support with the proper authorities and spouse support while you are at it.
You are entitled to both.
2006-09-02 10:04:07 · answer #9 · answered by retrodesignerdeals 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why is it so easy for guys to just up and leave,sorry,sell the house if you can and use the money
2006-09-02 10:04:59 · answer #10 · answered by san_ann68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋