I asked another question about a friend of mine whos wife has threatened suicide if he leaves the unhappy marriage. I thought she trapped him, but one answer stuck in my mind. She said that it takes two and she didnt force him to impregnante her. I think there are very true stories of women trapping men this way, and I believe it can and does happen. At 16 she should know how to get pregnant, not just him. It is her body, so if she deliberately falls pregnant in an attempt to get someone she loves to commit to her, then what if he doesnt, what if he refuses to do the right thing and walk away. She is the one who is going to be left to bring the child up alone. If a 19 year old was playing the field with other girls and this particular girl was not in a love relationship with him. but fell pregnant in the hope he would "do the right thing", who is more to blame? Sure, he should have used condoms, but the fault should not just be with him. What do you think?
2006-09-02 09:29:08 · 15 answers · asked by rightio 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess the fault is with both of them, but primarily the male. Neither one should be having unprotected sex unless both can provide a good home for a child. That is the ideal but with hormones raging other things occur.
The young woman in the second case has no business having unprotected sex as a single 16-year-old in this country because she has no way to support a child. It's possible that she may not have been out to trap him, but maybe just felt very strongly about him and about wanting a family with him. She was wishing, dreaming and hoping rather than facing reality. She is responsible for realizing that he may not be interested.
You don't mention his state of mind. It appears that he may not be interested in having a family. At 19 I would hold him responsible for realizing that some young women do trap men and that other young women do want a family so strongly that they don't face reality. If the woman is not on birth control and is having sex with a man, it shouldn't take many brain cells to figure out that this is not a desirable situation for the man. In this situation, he should protect himself. If he doesn't, a woman might think that he does want a family, although at some point she must realize that there are a lot of men who have unprotected sex who have no interest in children.
The big question really is why do people who don't want children have unprotected sex?
2006-09-02 09:44:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your theory is a little off. First of all, your friend is right...it takes two. And if this guy was contemplating breaking up with her, why in the world was he having sex with her still? I mean everyone knows the possibilites when we engage in sex...why is it any less his fault. Second, although she may be alone physically and emotionally, that boy is going to paying financially until that child reaches the age of 18, whether he wants to or not.
I guess what I am trying to say is that nobody can "deliberately fall pregnant" without the help of someone else honey. I understand where you are coming from when women trap men into this, and although a lot of men claim this...they fail to leave out the "I had sex with her" part of HOW she became pregnant. If he truly didn't want a baby, he would have taken precautions of his own to ensure that would not happen.
2006-09-02 16:40:16 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its 50/50 its the man job to make sure that his wife is taken care of and all of her need are meet and the baby needs are met to.but if a person like a 16 yo.girl did what she did to trap i would take her to court and take full responsible of the baby and raise the baby on my own.then she wouldn't have me or the baby.and as far as the 19 girls that was not in a love relationship but got pregnant bye this guy in hope he would do the right thing so what you are saying this girl who is 19 doesn't love this guy but she wanted to have his baby in hoping he would do the right thing
so she used this guy to get her pregnant know she want him to take responsible of this child and her because this guy didn't used a condom wow.well it take 2 to tango and they knew there could be a change when 2 people have sex with out use condom she could get pregnant so i think they need to sit down and figure out what best for the baby need and cares should come first because it cost a lot of money to care for a baby and this guy who is 19 his life is ruined by there decision bye not wanting to wear a condom he has to pay child support in til the baby is 18 or in less they get marry witch i dont see happening
2006-09-02 16:55:57 · answer #3 · answered by little ace 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No matter what the details are, the responsibility is shared equally. Blame is a horrible word for creating life.
I've heard this before... people saying "she got pregnant on purpose to force him to marry her." I know that some girls do that, and anybody with any brains should know that this could happen. So a guy who is sleeping with somebody should be ready for that possibility.
Many women get pregnant while on the pill, with no intent of trying to trap anybody. ANY COUPLE who has sex should be prepared for the possibility that they may be gifted with a shared human life, and be ready to step up to the plate and care for their child together.
Nobody can "get themselves pregnant."
While I do sympathize with guys who think their partner is using protection, and get fooled... it still does not give them the right to be irresponsible about the baby. If he loves this woman, he should give her the benefit of the doubt (maybe she WAS taking it and it failed to work).
If he doesn't love her that much, then he shouldn't be pretending to be a "spouse."
2006-09-02 16:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know of a woman who purposely found herself a man with a good income to become pregnant. She didn't want to get married or be with him long term. She just wanted to have a child and be a single mother. Now the father has to pay child support for the next 18 years. And he gets very little child visitation. In fact, she didn't want him to have visitation at all but she wanted the child support. He had to take her to court to get visitation.
What rights does the father have during pregnancy? If a women wants the exclusive right to have or not have a child regardless of what the father wants....then shouldn't she also have all the responsibility of raising it and supporting it financially? Just a question???
2006-09-02 16:45:08 · answer #5 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Youre description does not fit your question. Both parties have a great repsonsibility during a pregnancy, but that has nothing to do with trapping someone into a relationship or threatening suicide. I think you need to re write your question or you probably wont get the answer you are really looking for. Good luck though :)
2006-09-02 16:32:17 · answer #6 · answered by Jess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think the major responsibility lies on the mother who will be carrying that child. kin of goes with the saying mommas baby papas maybe. but without saying she will be nurturing that child to bring it into the world. what she does and eats for the hopefully 9mos that child depends on regardless of what or how the child became in existence is ultimately responsible. if the father wants to do the right thing and be a father than do that. women should know by now you cant entrap a man to keep him. i know a man that tried to entrap me by getting me pregnant to keep me. but it takes two i didn't do it alone neither did he. that goes to say it took both of them. he should not have laid if he didn't want to eventually have to pay. to do the right thing would be for him to be in the child's life he doesn't necessary ave to be in the moms.
2006-09-02 16:42:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
both parties have an equal responsibility. the mother has to carry the baby and raise it, whereas the father is expected to be the main provider for their child.
there are two parties involved in getting pregnant....the man can always wear a condom, and the female can always take the morning after pill!
2006-09-02 20:39:53 · answer #8 · answered by fifs_c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe it's everyone responsibility for their own action you can't depend on what the other person tells you about not being able to get pregnant or not having an std.... protect YOURSELF and the same goes for the other person.... so if something does happen the only person to blame is YOURSELF....
2006-09-02 16:50:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babies having babies. Have the child and give it up for adoption. Having a baby will not make the other person love you or want to stay with you.
2006-09-02 16:34:05 · answer #10 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋