bigez3804...How do you convert?

Question

bigez3804, in an earlier answer, you stated you are a "former" homosexual. As the "opposite" of homosexuality is heterosexuality, please explain how you became heterosexual? What feelings do you suppress as heterosexual? What feelings did you suppress as homosexual? How emotionally healthy do you feel now as compared to when you were homosexual? How, as formerly homosexual, do you attain emotional, spiritual, and sexual fulfillment within a heterosexual relationship?

Answer 1

Heck of a great question ??
Good on you

Answer 2

First of all, the opposite of 'homosexual' is simply 'non-homosexual'. This can include people who only have feelings for the opposite sex, persons who have feelings for both sexes, persons who love everyone without lusting after anyone.

Indeed, even when people acquire the ability to be attracted to a member of the opposite sex, who did not have this ability before, they almost always retain the ability to be attracted to the same sex as well, so that now they simply have more options available, some things become a matter of choice that were not previously.

Since I believe that sexual expression is appropriate only within marriage, and I do not have a spouse, I am celibate. And that means that I have simply become aware of my reactions and found out in just what measure they can be brought under conscious control, so that now I simply choose what my reactions will be.

I choose to have a pleasant hum, a joy at the presence or thought of some person. Especially if the person is physically present. When they are not physically present, I might sometimes allow myself to dream about that one person whom I would like to marry (and there will only be one such person at any given time in my life).

I get my satisfaction primarily from showing love to other people. It just feels really good to do nice things for people, even people I've never seen before and will never see again. I feel like God can show His love to them through me, and that is just really wonderful. And yes, over time it can lead to having sexual feelings for a given person.

I don't think of 'before' and 'after' my decision to live as I do now. It's been more of a continuum of little decisions. Nor do I think in terms of 'suppressing' anything. I allow myself joy. I allow myself love. I am glad to be aware of my desires because it allows me to make choices about what I will do with them.

Suppression, in fact, is what gets one in trouble - it is invariably the culprit when someone lives according to their convictions for 20 years, then boom! They end up having an adulterous affair, and have no idea how it happened.

I think it is precisely this necessity of making decisions about what I will do about my relationships with people of both sexes which has made me more able to love without lusting than I might otherwise have been.

And I am much happier now that I have learned that, much healthier, there's much less pressure on my relationships, much more freedom. The love I have for others is much more a matter of choice than before, which means it's much easier to stay faithful.

I am much less 'needy'. I am not going out of my mind with desire for a partner - haven't engaged in any non-platonic behavior with anyone in over 22 years (I'm 42), and am content as I am.

I even have a friend with whom I am discussing marriage, but it isn't 'a matter of life and death'. Our relationship is like a really fine wine which is being slowly aged in peace and quiet, acquiring more subtle flavors over time.

Bottom line: I think that the prime thing that changed things for me was the making of choices, learning to love without lust, to be content with my life as it is. Then, as far as things like my relationship with my sex drive are concerned, everything else pretty much fell into place.

Answer 3

I tell you, he is lying! Suppress it and one day it will rear its little head and slip into what it wants

Answer 4

Yeah!

Answer 5

I don't see how its possible to convert.

Answer 6

get em

Answer 7

sorry