how long can sex hurt?

Question

ok, this is embarassing but i'm asking this anyway. my husband and i recently got married (about 2 months ago) and were both virgins before marriage. i'm still having a hard time during sex - as in, it hurts when he penetrates me. its painful enough that i don't let him go in all the way (or maybe he's not in the right place? i don't know, it sounds stupid, right?). we've tried lubrication and foreplay, etc. i don't think he bought KY, is there any lubrication you prefer over another?

does it take a while for a woman to get "loose" down there? its fine for my hubby (ie he orgasms just fine)- i just can't seem to get aroused enough because of the pain. i can't even try being on top - there's no way he could penetrate me that way - it hurts.

also, is it really true that some women don't have an orgasm during penetrative sex - they need to be stimulated manually (ie. fingering)? just curious b/c that's what's happening to me.

Answer 1

As Long As you Keep Going And A While After You Stop.

And He Might Have Bought Cheap Glycerine/Glycerol Based Lubricant That Will Make It Like A brake pad on a metal rim after about 1-2 Minutes.

Get Some Very Expensive Waterbased Lubricant From An Adult Shop And This Will Probably Make It All Good.

Unless He's Hung Like A couple Of Pail's Stacked up. In that case, Send him to Thailand Once A Month To Find Those Girls that Do The Special shows Where They Can Make A 1/2 Gallon Soda Bottle Dissapear.


HOPE THIS HELPS.

Answer 2

Don't be embarrassed... You should however speak to a gynocologist regarding the pain, they can do an examination and give suggestions on positions ect. The vagina is designed to accomidate the birth of a child and still feeling pain after 2 months makes me think you are nervous.. You felt pain the first time and now anticipate pain thus clinching down and thus pain..

What do you mean the wrong place? There are only 3 openings in the region 1. Urethra (urine exit) much to small to accomidate a penis 2. Vagina (the right place) 3. Anus (while some people enjoy anal sex if that's where he is going instead of the vagina then I can fully understand the pain)..

Each woman is arroused by different things being as you are having pain from penial penetration I can understand why you are not orgasming that way digital stimulation is not painful thus you are able to orgasm..

Definately see a gyno make sure to take your husband with you as the gyno may have questions for him regarding position ect.

Have hope it will work out and you will be orgasming soon...

Answer 3

Okay here we go....
I'm just going to be blunt here, no need for politeness! When you get turned on, the inside of your vaginal cavity opens more. There could be a lot of reasons why it still hurts-- he could be too big, you may not be aroused enough to receive all of him, etc. I recommend to keep using lubrication!!! If you aren't aroused, then you're not lubricated, and that could tear your skin and it WILL hurt. Yes, some women never orgasm through penetration. This is why foreplay is important! Some women only come through fingering, cunnilingus, etc. You may want to try other positions-- girl on top positions hurt more with "bigger" men, so this is probably not a good idea for you yet since it is still hurting. Try doggy-style, gently, because it should maximize g-spot stimulation. Also, read Cosmopolitan! It's full of ideas, and stuff like that. I know this is a bit out of order. Anyways, it doesn't really matter wha kind of lubrication you buy, but KY and Aquagel are pretty good ones. Just make sure it is intended for lubrication use!! But if you're using condoms, beware of lubrication-- it may weaken the condom, and you could be at risk for unwanted things. As for being in the right place, he should be in the same place you put your tampon ;) Stick with him on top and doggy-style for now, and remember to RELAX!!! If you're nervous or tense, your muscles will tighten and it won't help your disposition. Any other questions, feel free to IM me--xxinsanityangelxx on Yahoo IM. Hope this helps!!

Answer 4

I was experienced when my husband and I got married and soon after the wedding, sex became very painful for me. It turned out, after going to the doctor, that I had endometrosis. I am not saying that you've got it, but that it may not be sex that is cause of the pain but the symptom of something else. It is best to go and see a doctor to get a definitive answer.

I wouldn't worry about having an orgasm until the problem of the pain is sorted. It can turn into a mental block at times and your body doesn't react as you want it. My best advice is, after seeing the doctor, relax about sex. Don't expect to come, just enjoy the fun and closeness between you and your husband. There are other ways for him to stimulate you and the two of you can explore those.

Good luck and be well.

Answer 5

I think before anything you should touch yourself figure out were you like to be touch. Then you should talk to your husband and tell him about it. Sometimes men don't know what we like or how we like it. Be honest it's normal and their is nothing wrong with it. But if you don't tell him then you will be missing out in a great orgasm.. After you have done that you could enjoy great love making.. I say before he goes in you should have him tiss you and have you real turn on. That way when he goes in even though you hurt you will also feel pleasure.. Also what you could do is, when he is going in. You could be playing with yourself and touch your G spot.. I have been married for 13 years and I too was a Virgin. I remember it hurt ed like heck but I did what I'm telling you to do and it worked great. Till this day sometimes when we are doing it. It hurts sometimes but believe me I'm not gonna stop him and miss out on great love making. Just remember don't think of the pain so much, think on the pleasure. Also remember SEX is a very important part of your marriage you should never be embarrass to tell him how you feel or if you want to try something new. You both are just beginning to explore each others bodies. I wish you all the luck in the world!!!

Answer 6

He could just be a bit big for you. You might want to see a doctor because after 2 months it shouldn't be painful anymore.
As for lube, I used to use a brand called "Wet". Worked grerat.
As for the orgasm, very true. It takes a while for you to learn what your body responds to, and some times may be different than others.
Either way, unless you have not broken your hymen yet (seen a bit of blood) I can't think of any other reason why it may still be painful.
Doctor.

Answer 7

Go to a toy shop and buy a dildo that you can handle, once you're used to that, move up to the next size. It sounds like your man is very well endowed. I've been sexually active for 15 years, and I've learned how to ejaculate during penetrative sex. It feels like you will pee. And stuff comes out like pee, but it's not pee. It's something else from some gland. You can't pee during sex. I like the clitoral orgasm better though. Sex still hurts a little for me, but I've learned to enjoy the pain, and when I relax and breathe to enjoy the moment, it all feels better. Try to relax. Have a drink before it. Also, your man needs to spend about 15 minutes loving you and caressing you before he slips the snake in you. That's how you get turned on. He gets turned on in 6 seconds, and you get turned on in 16 minutes. That's just how it works. Read "Mars and Venus in the Bedroom."

Answer 8

This is a sensitive question. There are ways to help the pain by using equipment, smaller and eventually getting bigger until comfortable. If you like to drink once in awhile, have a few shots and get loose, then try to have sex. Good luck

Answer 9

Increase and extend the foreplay styles and time spent. Are you receptive to oral stimulation?

Make an appointment with your OB/Gyn, just in case there may be a medical reason. Also use that time to discuss the matter with your doctor. Perhaps there are techniques, exercises, or medications that he/she may prescribe.

Answer 10

I am sorry for you. I do feel for you and I can tell you what changed everything for me, but you won't like it! After I had a kid, all of a sudden I was able to climax. Never before. Something changed but I don't know what it was. Maybe things 'loosened up' like you said, or maybe it was hormonal. I don't know, but seriously, I never had a 'real' ;orgasm till after my first child was born. Now It happens every time! Weird? or not?