My lover is a sucessful businessman and he wife is involved in city goverment. He has a good family life and has a great relationship with his adult children. He is a decent man , considerate and caring and very attractive. I would certainly think that he wife would'nt be able to resist him, so why does he cheat?
2006-09-02 06:51:58 · 35 answers · asked by reallyfedup 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
because guys need it more than once a month so we go elsewhere
2006-09-02 07:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by BRIAN A 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Everyone here is blaming the wrong thing - blaming the wife especially. The truth is that marriage takes WORK.... and time and both parties have to want to keep it alive - and remember what it was that attracted them in the first place.
Many times, someone comes along that makes a guy 'feel attractive' - you're probably younger - he's probably older - and doesn't know if women find him attractive or not;. That's really common with men.
He probably doesn't have to do too much to make you happy. All he has to do is show up. He seems considerate and decent because he knows he's getting a little piece that's different than what he's used to.
In a true relationship, over many years, it takes constant work and creativity to keep things 'hot'..... it takes two. He certainly not trying to do that with his wife - if he's getting it from you. Maybe he has to stretch a little more with the person who raised his children and 'knows' him - deep down. Guys find it very easy to be surfacely nice and not have to try - dish out a little money - to get what they want.
You don't realize it - but you're being used. He has security, a family, a wife, someone who he can go back to. He just uses you because you let him. In the meantime - your own clock is ticking.....tick, tock, tick, tock - wasting away.... when maybe you could develop a true relationship for yourself.
2006-09-02 07:45:18 · answer #2 · answered by longhats 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to quote proverbs "a barren womb is one of the four things that are insatiable". The other three are the grave, fire, and I forgot...read chapter 30.
An animal lives deep in every human being. The difference between good and evil is giving in to animal desires or resisting them. You already know what I think about monogamy, and why the Church foisted it upon people in the first place. So is being with a married man evil? No. Not as long as you take his wife and children into consideration. Every thing you do must be done with thoughtfulness and love. When hate, greed, lust (one night stands), envy, or deceit is one of your actions, the animal has won.
2006-09-03 11:30:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The better question is...why are YOU part of the problem? The fact that they cheat on their spouses should be non of your business. It is between the husband and the wife...period.
And to "melificent": Why are u defending such behavior? The horse may be the one going to the wheat but if there's no wheat indulging him in the first place, the horse has no choice but to go back home and find his food there. It takes 2 to cheat and for every man who does it, there's a woman there cheating with him...duh!
2006-09-02 07:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If other women would not knowingly sleep/ have an affair with a man they know is married then it wouldn't happen as often. Some guys have stress at home and have an affair to deal with it. THere are lots of excuses a man will give but honestly I think if a guy promises to be faithful to his wife (they do that in the wedding vows) and then has an affair with another woman then he is a liar and a pig. And he should be castrated. The women who slept with him knowing he had a wife should be publicly humiliated. But I suppose thats just my opinion. Oh.. same with if a wife is cheating.. except you can't castrate her. I guess there is this drug that takes away sex drive and they give it to convicted sexual predators. That should be given to the spouse who cheats!
2006-09-02 06:59:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sometimes people get married and then changes take place.
Their spouse may no longer be attracted to them due to many factors, such as lack of common interests, competitive spirits within the marriage, or simply an overall change in personality.
This may drive one to look elsewhere for the desires of the flesh that were lost when the respect of their spouse was lost.
2006-09-02 06:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by 3eleven 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because he is feeling cheated in his marriage. He thinks that he should look outside the marriage for satisfaction.
He is too selfish to see that he is doing nothing to fulfill his wife's needs. He thinks it is all about him. He feels like the victim, but is doing nothing to help solve the problem.
He is not man enough to do whatever it takes to give his wife what she needs, so she will do whatever it takes to give him what he needs. He hates himself and her for knowing who he really is. He needs to reinvent himself, and convince others that he is right and worthy.
Cheating men lack integrity and act out of a narcissistic desire to fulfill only themselves. How a self respecting woman could actually think he is worthy of respect, and become so easily duped is beyond me.
Maybe mistresses don't thing they deserve any better in a man. Maybe they are trying to build themselves up and feed their own egos by "outdoing" the wife and cheating with her husband. Maybe mistresses get a feeling of power from being the guy's "dirty little secret".....
I think it is a defense mechanism, to be a mistress. It is a projection of low self esteem. It says a lot about a person to accept being someone's dirty little secret. Then again, it says a lot about a man who is so selfish and dishonest with his wife......and those he is able to convince that he is worthy of anything.
2006-09-02 07:16:28 · answer #7 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all why do you let him. His wife is the innocent victim here. He's being a dog. Successful and probably rich, but he already has a WIFE! Tell him to get lost of you will tell his wife about your affair. he needs counseling, and might I say you do too. This man is TAKEN, find a free one and live your life. You are going to help responsible fro ruining to many lives here. When it's all over you are going to be the one blamed.
2006-09-02 06:58:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
how did he get to become your lover? someone gave in, was it you.
Men are not the only ones who cheat on their spouses, woman do also.
If you know that a person is married, what happened to the words "no thank you, you are married?" How can he be a decent man if he is cheating on his wife. Get your head out of the clouds and get out of that relationship, HE'S MARRIED!!!!!!!
2006-09-02 12:17:54 · answer #9 · answered by morris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Genetically men are wired to sow their wild oats. That was natures way of ensuring the human species thrived and populated the earth. (caveman days)
Now in a modern society....that is unacceptable but those genetics are still there for men. That's why you always catch them looking at attractive women and surfing porn. It's a premal urge. Some men are able to control it better than others. And some men are just that arrogant and selfish that they can justify it in their minds.
Things may be going great with his wife and he still cheats because it's a premal urge that he's scratching.
Just my thoughts.....
2006-09-02 07:05:22 · answer #10 · answered by Tony 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
because there will always be women out there flaunting themselves around like they are the best in this world and do you really think that if you get a man to sleep with you while he is married that he wont cheat on you ?
2006-09-02 07:17:45 · answer #11 · answered by sunshine girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋