I suspected my spouse cheated and never had the evidence he did. You just get a feeling you know. I'm trying to get past this and move ahead with our marriage. How did you do it?
2006-09-02 06:30:21 · 23 answers · asked by BB 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i dont like any of the answers here. my husband cheated on me 8 years ago, i had no proof - just a feeling - then all i did was ask him - the look in his eyes said it all. and yes, i stayed with him after that. why? because i loved him. i confronted the other woman in front of him. we had kids and a long history together, and i wasn't willing to let some other female take that away from me. he never did it again after that - but for quite a while after that he had to work on regaining my trust. my advice - is only if you truly love the person - i never would have thought i would stay with someone who cheated on me- never - but you truly don't know until it happens to you, and it depends on the circumstances - at that time i had been with him for 10 years - we had 2 kids and a house. why give that up when i still loved the hell out of him? we went on for another 8 years happily - unfortunately, for other unrelated reason, we are no longer together, but remain parents and friends together, and i wish him the best.
2006-09-02 07:11:59 · answer #1 · answered by sherrie k 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My ex fiancee suspected me of cheating and ran off with $3000 of my money and property. I went to work and came back to find her and my stuff gone.....just because she THOUGHT I cheated. I had no idea she was so jealous until I started putting it all together in retrospect. Suspicions without actual accusations are poisonous to your relationship.
I know how it happens. You get annoyed at your spouse for something, maybe not spending time with you or ignoring you and immediately you think cheating. In your head you play out all the possible theories; what, where, when, who, and why.
Your supposed suspicion, without any actual fact, soon becomes Huge in your mind and it is all you can think about. But now it is so big that you're afraid to just talk to your spouse about how you feel. Originally, in this example, you felt ignored. Now you are hurt, betrayed, angry, etc.
The real question is......Can YOU get past your Suspicions, assuming you plan on ignoring your spouse and not bringing it up? Can you just talk to him and tell him all the things that you have been thinking and feeling? If you can't trust each other, then the relationship is pointless.
By the way, I have never cheated on a relationship. I feel that cheating is not an option. But that's just me.
2006-09-02 06:56:24 · answer #2 · answered by BBQribs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you don't know for a fact that he did.. Innocent until proven guilty.. No one knows him and his behaviors better than you but for your mental health.. give him the benefit of the doubt.. Still the other side to that is if you can't honestly do that.. if in your heart you have decided already that he did cheat.. then the real question is can you deal with it? Can you handle knowing (or thinking you know, or even the thought of) your husband was with another female... When I mean handle it, I mean try to forgive him and get past it.. work on finding out what may have caused this.. I am not saying it's your fault but something is definately wrong and you should fight for your marriage.. It won't be easy but nothing worth saving ever is.. Good luck..
2006-09-02 06:42:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him about it. If he denies it, then you have to decide if you are going to stay or leave. If you stay, keep your eyes open - if he really did cheat, he will probably keep doing it - but you can't keep bringing it up or holding it over his head - if he didn't cheat that will for sure ruin the marriage anyway. You have to decide if you are being paranoid, in which case you just need to get over it, or if you have a real reason to worry. If you don't trust him, then that is just as big an issue as actual cheating would be.
2006-09-02 07:37:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was just a feeling without solid evidence then u have a choice to just go on with your marriage. If this is something always in the back of your mind u need to get it out there and get it resolved before u can even begin to have peace of mind.
2006-09-02 06:37:35 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suspicion can drive you insane if you let it. I've been dealing with the same thing lately but we are just engage. I know how it feels to have that burning feeling in your stomach but can't react or speak on it. So what I've decided to do was let it go and wait. Things that are done in the dark in time will come to the light. You can't go through your marriage stressing behind something you don have true facts about. Pray overr it and your marriage: Ask God to show you the way and stay in ove with your husband until you see a difference in him.
2006-09-02 07:19:45 · answer #6 · answered by blackbery 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get tested for STD's maybe that can help answer your question. Any skank that sleeps with a married man, probably has an STD.
Ask yourself why don't I believe my husband that he hasn't cheated on me. Does he have a history of lying? If so, then you can't trust his answer. Here then lies the problem. TRUST. You can't have a future with a pathological liar. If you read this and say "no, he's not a liar"!, then you are just insecure and work on that and move on.
2006-09-02 06:36:05 · answer #7 · answered by spartan_117 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you can to make the marriage work. If you put all your efforts into that, what happened in the past will fade away. Without proof, you could be making a major mistake in bringing it up. Keep it to yourself, but keep an eye on things. Since he did not leave, you have a chance to make this work. Sometimes men think with their penis and not their brain. That does not mean he does'nt love you.
2006-09-02 06:36:13 · answer #8 · answered by united9198 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never had a partner cheat on me, but I do know people that have stayed with thier man that cheated on them. Personally I say you go girl cause I would be out. It is my opinion that once that trust is broken, you cannot get it back.
2006-09-02 06:32:13 · answer #9 · answered by jonijuggsoncam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you have no evidence then you have no case. So you'll just have to move on. Just call it being paranoid.
If I knew for sure that anyone cheated on me, they're gone. I don't put up with that kind of sh*t.
2006-09-02 06:31:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋