2006-09-02 05:50:18 · 22 answers · asked by Splash1969 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only when they have serious issues and their partner lets them treat them like crap. If you are being treated like crap, you are letting him treat you like crap. You are also enabling him to avoid dealing wwith his own issues. You need to get out of his way so he can get help. You have to draw some boundary lines and show him with your behavior, that you will not accept being treated like crap. Most people don't even realize that they are treating someone like crap, because they have lost their ability to empathize (walk in your shoes). All of their actions are justified in their mind. You can't change them, fix them, or help them. You just have to love yourself, and command respect. If they really love you, then they should respond to your change in your behavior, and do whatever it takes to work on their own problems. If they don't love themselves, they won't love you, and will refuse to see beyond their own perspective. That's when you have to walk away, let them go, and take care of yourself.
2006-09-02 05:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is due to the level of comfort and security they feel within their family. It is not only men who do this, it is most people. However this is still wrong and not to be eccepted or tolerated. The saying goes like this: "You only hurt the ones you love the most because they love you the most". However, we must not hurt the ones who love us the most. Just because we feel secure with our loved ones is not an excuse for poor behavior. We all must strive to treat those we love the most, the best. Thos who love us deserve our best behavior, not the people we work with or those we wish to impress. While we should treat all with kindness, courtecy, and respect, those we love deserve the highest level of these. So, don't allow yourself to be treated any less than you deserve. However, do work with your husband and communicate your needs and expectations with him. Open communication is key to all long term relationships. Decent treatment is a neccessity as well. Otherwise it is just abuse.
Good luck and much happiness always.
2006-09-02 13:01:32 · answer #2 · answered by Serenity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately yes they do. And I am going to assume the reason is this:
They can not take their frustrations out on their boss or co workers, they can't take them out on their parents, or the neighbors or whomever.........so who does that leave? it leaves their wife, girlfriend whatever.
Where that is totally unfair and selfish, it seems to be the norm.
And it is also a form of abuse. Mental and emotional abuse.
Have a talk with your spouse and ask them if maybe when he comes home really stressed out or frustrated about something if he can't just stop and count to 10, take deep breaths and then talk to you about what has him so upset. Or ask him what he would like to do in order to have the time to calm down without taking it out on you.
But have this discussion with him at a time that he is in a good mood.
Tell him that he is going to have to find a more constructive way to handle his stress. Find a way to relieve some of the stress in his life.......without using you and your kids to do it.
2006-09-02 13:49:07 · answer #3 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes yes this is very possible .. My husband came home from deployment and he had lost patience when he came home.. during a loss of our son we were both snapping at one another but we realized it and now take the time to find ways to communicate better. For us, before we go to sleep, we light a lot of candles, cuddle and talk openly about everything. It has done wonders for us.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-02 12:53:13 · answer #4 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because the loved ones are the ones who are easier to bully and who will stay no matter how they are treated.
They can't take it out of their boss cos they will be sacked, nor can they take it out on their friends, cos they will leave him. They are taking their loved ones for granted which shouldn't be the case.
2006-09-02 13:16:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only the ones that don't know how to direct their anger to something else. Anger is a mind-number, but the mind has to be alert and logical when it comes to being that way around loved ones.
2006-09-02 12:54:21 · answer #6 · answered by unseenmatter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mine doesn't he leaves it at work if he is upset he takes it out there, he does not ever disrespect me.Frustation can be taken out in many ways except the ones you love
2006-09-02 13:16:13 · answer #7 · answered by Raineybaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they do because they need to release the stress and all in their life and so they end up doing so with the one that's closest to them.
2006-09-02 12:54:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, one theory that makes sense to me is described here, it basically says that we are attracted to people that help us work out our wounds from the past. Of course, if that crosses over into verbal and physical abuse then that's a whole other thing that no one should tolerate.
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200303/tows_past_20030328.jhtml
2006-09-02 12:58:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anne R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, sometimes you end up being the sounding board. You happen to be the one closest to them and I don't mean just physically close, but you are their comfort zone and I know they don't mean to do this but it happens.
2006-09-02 13:15:27 · answer #10 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋