I am married and soon to be seperated is it wrong to go ahead and start looking for a new person in my life?

Question

We have been married for nine years and have grown apart. I have been told to find someone else.

Answer 1

Since it looks like you are heading for divorce court, yeah it's alright to start the looking process.

Answer 2

You didn't make it clear if you were male or female. Regardless, I'd give it more time. You will be on the rebound and may jump into another relationship out of loneliness. If you are male, research proves that men are more likely to do this than women - believe it or not. Men who have been married for many years sometimes feel lost without a woman in their lives to fill that "wifely" and nuturing role they have come to enjoy. Females can easily jump into one of these relationships because the guy is so needy or because they too like the idea of being married and having someone take care of them. You need some time alone to get to know yourself and to get perspective on what you are really looking for. Go ahead and enjoy your freedom for a while. Then when the right person comes along you will be ready to commit. Love really can be better the second time around if you choose carefully.

Answer 3

If she told you to find someone else then it isn't wrong to go and look. The only thing is, since you've been in a relationship that long you should probably have to alone time. You know. Find out what you want. If you look for someone else now you may just rely on them only, and not depend on yourself. Just give it some time. Especially if you have kids. My dad did it right away, and every time a woman broke up with him we had to deal with it and pick him up again, until he would find another one right away. Then we would have to deal with it again. And then I had my sisters and brothers asking me questions like "Why are dad and _______ showering together?" I am just saying... think of your kids first. If there are no kids, then think of yourself. And if the new girl has kids, think of them.

Answer 4

The next relationshiip more than likely wouldn't last, if you do it just for sex then fine. You should take a break from the whole committed thing, enjoy the single life for a while and if that doesn't feel to be the way you want to go, then you can try and settle down again.

Answer 5

Friends are essential to help you through a separation. But to jump into another relationship so soon is foolish and rash. Get separated, divorced let the dust settle, then consider the next step. Finish one meal before starting the next.

Answer 6

Go to counseling it really helps. I would wait before I started looking, chances are you will meet someone else and have exactly the same problems. People do it all the time and don't realize it. Counseling is the best solution though, I know because I went and it has helped me.

Answer 7

Rule one o one. You leave and are separated physically by location before you start looking for a new person in your life. I have a rule...divorced for a year before I date someone. Until then they are too wigged out to be in a relationship.

Answer 8

Probably. If you're asking the question, you feel uncomfortable with it. So wait. It would still be cheating so, if you're set on leaving the marriage, it's better to leave it with a clear conscience. I'm in the same situation.

Answer 9

Give yourself time to smell the roses, enjoy life, so not think the only way to feel whole, is to have a man or woman, in your life. Get out their and have fun, have a ball, don't tie yourself down yet, live a little. Shake your booty. (smile)

Answer 10

At least wait until you don't live together. If you feel you need to wait for the final papers in the divorce then do that. But as far as still being there and doing this no. He/She may want that for you but have more respect then to do it in front of Him/her.