What to do about a World of Warcraft addicted boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend is hooked on WoW. He hardly ever wants to spend time with me and rarely leaves his room when he gets in from his classes. I've tried to be more understanding, and have never denied him his hobbies, but I've already told him how much it irritates me that he spends more time on his computer than in the "real world." He's tried to reduce his playing time to just a couple of nights a week, but he always reverts back to playing it for at least six hours a day EVERY DAY. Now he's trying to pass off his excessive gaming as my fault because we don't do anything together. Everytime I ask him to do something, however, he gets irritated and takes at least half an hour to get off the computer (if I'm lucky). I don't know what to do anymore...he's a great guy otherwise, but this is killing our relationship. Someone PLEASE help!

Answer 1

Let me tell you (from personal experience with the game), if he's not ready to give it up and he's playing 6 hours+ a day, he's not going to stop. WoW is a very entertaining and well-made game which adds to it's addicting factor. Many, many relationships are suffering the same way yours is; I was lucky that my boyfriend and I could play together. The best advice I can give you is to ask him if you could play with him.

Now, if he's playing as much as you say he is (which I believe completely) he's probably raiding with a guild of (40 or more) people who also enjoy WoW. If that's the case, he's made a commitment to them. MMORPGs (like WoW) are incredibly social games. You interact with other people and form friendships. These people probably mean a lot to him (I know, it's hard to understand. They're just people on the Internet. But, it truly becomes more than that.).

Unfortunately, if you can't understand that right now, maybe you need to sit down with him and explain to him exactly what you're feeling about his WoW habit. Don't yell at him; don't go on the offensive, and don't go on the defensive. Just talk. Be sweet and understanding. If he's honestly developed a physical addiction to WoW (as opposed to just loving the game, but able to quit at any time), he will really not react well if he feels you're just attacking the game.

Maybe you could even ask him to show it to you. You know, really get on the game's side.

There's really not anything you can do. I promise you right now, that if he is raiding and still really into the game, he's not going to just give it up or cut back. Sometimes these raids last 6-12 hours+ and leaving early is typically a no-no. I know this sounds horrible, but for him it will be like "Well, give it up for the girlfriend or disappoint 50 people who need me"

Here's a Yahoo! Group aimed at people in your situation. Maybe they'll have ideas that have worked for them http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/WOW_widow/

I hope this works out for you two. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

i've heard about this... and went trhough something similar when i used to play MUDs. i hear it results in violent kicks in the teeth by loved ones, so i am glad i have no such problem anymore.

the one girl is right, it's a social game, and you consider other players your friends. it was very hard for me to get off my game. i played for at least 8 hours a day, for seven years. SEVEN YEARS. from age 16 through to 23. i left family events like thanksgiving, to go home and play. i even feigned sick to avoid family outtings, or anything else that took me away from the game.

i only stopped playing because it finally hit me that with the thousands of hours i spent on the game, i accumulated absolutly nothing. and it just came out of the blue when that hit me.

join the group the other girl said, they probably have much better advice than most people on here.

Answer 4

Kick this loser's @@@ to the curb. He will only get worse, and if you haven't noticed, he's already got an addictive personality, which means, you may get him to give up the WoW, but he'll just trade it for something else. Don't waste your time. Leave him, and tell him why, then go out with your girlfriends and see what happens next. You obviously deserve better than this. Go for it Girl!

Answer 5

Sounds like WoW is his way of relaxing after school. Try giving him a back rub, or doing something relaxing together after classes. If he says you don't do anything together, suprise him with a REALLY romantic date. Take him some place fun like a football game, or whatever sports team he loves, then out to dinner at a nice place, finally back to your place for a little, whatever. And if it doesn't work, tell him the truth, that this is killing your relationship, and if he really wants this to work he has to cut it down.

Answer 6

I disagree with everyone else thus far
You should beat him at his own game create an user and join up with his chracter
then you can spend time together having fun
or hide wow

Answer 7

well it's either or :
either you kick him to the curb and say good riddance

OR

you find a way to become involved in his addiction as well, but beware two addicted gamers in one household could be very expensive, my daughter and son in law each have their own computer and play games together as well as apart and it works for them but it also means buying double everything

Answer 8

play the game with him or try to get him to try to do something else he might like. Or hide tha game under his mattress.

Answer 9

why dont u try to play with him and beat him up to the death of his game and afterwards he will get bored in playing the game... Or why dont you stretch ur patience with his hobbies and soon he will get back to ur arms... "how sweet".

Answer 10

Sex! It works for me and my computer game obsessed hubby. If he's not interested in spending time with you though you deserve better.