My husband is verbally abusive what should I do?

Question

Basically what I'm asking is how do I get him to stop. He say's it's not abusive to call me a bi@#& and things like this. what gives him the right to do this? He also dose'nt put out any more and say's it's my falt. help me please.

Answer 1

i'd record him doing it and play it back for him to listen he might not think its bad when he says it but hearing it might make him think other wise when you say he wont put out anymore does this mean sex if he is verbally attacking you and giving you no sex he might be cheating this is his way of dealing with his own demons making you feel like the bad person.

Answer 2

It's not your fault you're a ******, we all have a little (some more than others) b.itchiness in us. As for him calling you any kind of name is uncalled for. Verbal and emotional abuse can hurt just as bad, if not worse, than physical. You can't make him stop, some men don't have respect for women and it makes their balls bigger I guess to put down someone who can't defend themselves. He's a jerk, and if he continues, I'd say it's not even worth wasting your time with such a person. There is a man out there for you that will love you unconditionally, treat you like a lady, and the only names you'd hear from his mouth are how beautiful you are......Don't stay if you're unhappy, if he has no more respect for you than that, LEAVE! He doesn't deserve you.

Answer 3

He abuses you because the rewards for doing so are greater than the consequences. You can't "get" him to stop. He's the only one who controls his behavior. That's the first step. The second step MAY be to get yourself to a therapist. If he thinks it's not abusive to swear at you, he's going to be a pretty tough case. Here's the deal. We teach people how to treat us and he's learned that it's perfectly OK to abuse you verbally. His abuse is in the form of swearing at you and telling you it's your fault that he doesn't put out.
Your job is to make it clear to him that his abuse MUST stop. You may well have to leave or force him to leave to do that. Something along this line might help. "I know you feel you are doing nothing wrong when you curse and lie to me (it's "your fault" is a lie) but it is very hurtful to me and I feel very miserable. You cannot do that any more. I won't listen and will leave (or you will have to leave) if you continue to do it. I would like for us to go to counseling together and want your permission ot set up an appointment." BUT, be prepared to and DO leave if abuse continues.

Answer 4

next time he calls u any type of verbally abusive language...be a smart a*% and tell him thank you! I was in a relationship like this and worse...and he would not know what to say when I started thanking him for these wonderful words he had for me. i would not cry or get mad but happy and bubbly and say aww honey thank you and walk out of the room...as far as not putting out is he gone more from the house? Men dont go without so he is probably getting it somewhere else...get a friend to trail him and get pics if possible with him and another woman then take him for the divorce............get him girl!

Answer 5

Try this first to see if it will work the next time he's abusive and calls you a bi@# walk out crank the car leave stay in a motel over night no not go home till the next late afternoon or evening.

It this don't work its not worth wasting your time With a loser

Good luck!!

Answer 6

take out life insurance on him and next time you see him in the driveway "accidentally run over him a few times". ;-)
(kidding:)
tell him you're talking to a lawyer and he's about to find out the meaning of the word which he seems to enjoy calling you.
but you know the old saying, it takes two to tango, make sure there isn't something you are doing or have done to make him this angry with you. if he's just a slime ball, dump him and get him for child support. the kids don't need to be hearing him talk to you like that, they will think it's okay and do it to their wives someday.
Best Wishes and Good Luck:)

Answer 7

He won't change unless he wants to change and if he says he's not being verbally abusive and then calls you a *****, then he doesn't want to change.

As far as the sex thing, he may be cheating on you. That's not a definite, but you need to make that determination for yourself.

Do you really want to be with someone who is nasty like that?

Answer 8

it's divorce time
i have never called any of my EX GFs/ Wives b i t c h
never
once you cross that line you have lost repsect
for both yourself and the the women in question
time for divorce plain and simple
you have married the wrong person
own up to that fact, never repeat the mistake ( and YES thet early signs were ther all along you just ignored them as so many women do in the rush to get married ) and divorce him, move on and find the right guy this time.

Answer 9

He should never verbally abuse you! That is wrong and he needs some help. Just remember it will only get worse. If possible, get him to couples therapy. One sure cure is to get him to Church. Pray about it and have other people pray for you. I will be praying that the Lord will put it on his heart to stop verbally abusing you.

Answer 10

I would respond by saying "if you were committed to this marriage and intelligent, then you would not verbally abuse me, because it is only serving to damage the marriage. I am not willing to be your punching bag, we need to find what the source of this anger is and try to resolve it. I deserve respect and want to work to try to find a solution to your behavior." Also, if he hits you, call the cops.