They say they did it under the influnce of alcohol and both of them swear that it was the first time and both wish to get along with my marrying him.
Even if called it off I don't know what I will say.The truth will be an embarasSment for the two families which are close friends.
2006-09-02 03:05:51 · 57 answers · asked by Melinda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all don't you dare get married to save embarrassment, you did nothing wrong, you have to understand that first of all it is not your fault!!!!!!!!! It does not matter if they were under the influence or not, you do not have to go on with the rest of your life wondering if they are under the "influence" on a regular basis, take a trip alone, call of the wedding dear and find out what you really want what you want not what your family wants. I would never let someone force me into a marriage because they wanted to save face. They F***ed up not you and if anyone should be embarrassed it should be them and everyone should know that it was because of their actions that the wedding was called off! Girl go find you someone that loves you and only you no matter what and that would not put themselves in a position to be under the influence with your sister and as for her, I would not even give her the chance to explain, silence is all i would give to her. Good Luck sweetheart, go to the islands go find you something better, they are out there!!!!
2006-09-02 05:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by twinki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcohol is no excuse for what they've both done to you,and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when and if the families find out why you called off the wedding,which is what you should do.It sounds like you are planning on going on with the wedding,but let me ask you this.Do you really want to take that chance and then it happen again,with your sister or with someone else? Could you live with wondering if he's always comparing you to your siser in the bedroom?Would you be able to trust them alone together ever again? Only you can answer these questions,but the trust is gone now,and without that,there can't be a real marriage.I'm sorry to be so blunt,because I know you must love this guy,but in all honesty,can you really marry him now like nothing's happened?
2006-09-02 03:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that image of ur soon to be hubby in bed with ur sister will be etched in ur mind forever blood is thicker then water and this will be thrown in his face forever . This is something u will never forget . maybe forgive but still in the back of ur head . what will u do when she calls her brother in law over to fix a busted pipe or something u will wonder if she is still doing ur man . Alcohol is no excuse for what these two have done to u . I say get away from the situation for a while and do some soul searching this is not something i could just accept and go on with . Forgive his alcohol excuse one u will be forgiving it till it is over . end it before he has a chance to hurt u and ur future children and both families and u know what those two messed up u should not take the blame for the wedding being cancelled let them take it tell ur families exactly why u are calling it off if that's what u choose to do .
2006-09-02 03:20:42 · answer #3 · answered by ~~*Brownie*~~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcohol is NO EXCUSE for either of them to use. If your fiance is using the alcohol as an excuse what other things has he done under the influence? You do not need to go through with the wedding. This could be the beginning of many other larger problems down the road. Say that you called it off due to irreconcilable differences, make something up. What does it matter? You do not need this to be hanging over your head in a new marriage.
2006-09-02 03:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by jonesty1284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who is embarrassed, and he didn't care if that would happen to you if he hopped into bed with your sister. You are the one who will spend the rest of her life with ajerk who, after a few drinks hops into bed with another woman. What is especially shameful is that that woman is your sister. Do not worry about anyone else and how they will feel if you call off the wedding as they are not the ones getting married. You need to dump this disrespectful idiot who will use the slightest pretense to have sex with someone else. It was alcohol this time, will it be stress the next time? Or, maybe a harmless fling? You know the old saying "Buyer Beware"? In this case it is "Fiance Beware". You've been warned by his actions of what is coming in the future.
2006-09-02 03:20:45 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Grudge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call it off. There is no excuse for what happened. Once a cheat, always a cheat. If you marry this guy, he will be cheating on you all the time with a list of "excuses" and promising you it will never happen again. Which, of course it will. Yes, it is embarassing to call it off. Which would you rather have ? Be married to a guy that will cheat on you the rest of your life .. Or be embarassed for a few days .. then find the right guy and have a happy marriage ? .. By the way, why should YOU be embarassed. It is this guy and your sister that have broken your heart .. they should be ashamed of their actions. Drunk or not ! God Bless you .. and good luck with your decision.
2006-09-02 03:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Too bad everyone is going to be embarrassed. Put off the wedding. Work on your relationship with your fiance, if you can forgive him. Also work on your relationship with your sister. She sabotaged your happiness for a reason, so I would find out what it is, cause it may happen again.
I think you know what the answer is, this relationship is over and you need to move on. Think about what's best for you, don't worry about other people, in time they will get over it.
Look at it this way, on your wedding day he will promise to be true to you. Can you honestly accept that now?
2006-09-02 03:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater! If he will sleep with your sister then he has no morals at all. Blood is thicker than water so you should try to work things out with your sister, but give this guy the boot. Find a man who is loyal and won't cheat even if he is drinking. That is such a lame excuse, drunk or not he should stay faithfull to you.
2006-09-02 03:53:16 · answer #8 · answered by mistypa12000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why think about about??
Get rid of the dude!
Alcohol is the first excuse given by guilty
parties in all types of situations...
Get rid of him!
Alcohol will always be around, and
so will both of them!
Embarrassment ?
Do you prefer to go through your
marriage with a loser in bed and a
loser for a sister?
"The" others are not going to live your
life.
"They" are not going to be the ones that
will always wonder if their mate is
sleeping around with kin when you are
at work or away...
Get rid of "that" problem now before it
continues to eat away at your nerves
and everyday living..
P.S. The 2 need to be discovered..
Be a Super Hero Safe and safe your
"other" brother-in-laws!
2006-09-02 03:17:36 · answer #9 · answered by just me here 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely call the wedding off. If this guy proves he's reliable in the future you can always reconsider marrying him - at the moment it's far too risky.
Yes there'll be upset all round but that's a small price to pay when the alternative is risking your long term happiness.
2006-09-02 03:16:58 · answer #10 · answered by jayelthefirst 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋