put a child in the middle of parents getting a bitter divorce...does this make them a stronger person?

Question

when they grow up, will they be more experienced + therefore more capable of dealing with life's c r a p ?

Answer 1

no it wont help it will only hurt and to even consider it would be dumb, its like saying lets take our child and put him in a car and park it on the rail road tracks so he understands that cars never win with a train. better yet lets just get lil johnny drunk off his *** so when he grows up hell understand what its like to have a hangover from drinking to much. this is a common sense issue and it makes me wonder why anyone let people like that have children in the first place.......

we have laws for people driving cars and buying cigaretts and alchahol not to mention even a fishing lisc.but anyone can have a child. this a sad

Answer 2

Well that's one way of looking at it. Are you the child? Well then, no, its not going to make you a stronger person. Its going to eat at you until you learn that you aren't responsible for other peoples actions and have no control over your parents. I'm sorry they are so selfish that they can't put you first, but most people aren't capable of thinking past themselves.

If you are the parent, then it sounds like you are trying to justify bad behavior by excusing it. No its not going to make your child stronger(see above). Get them into a support group for kids going through divorce, most schools have them. Do not EVER bad mouth your ex, don't talk to the kids about the details of your failed relationship, its not appropriate and its none of their business. Don't burden your children with things they don't have to understand right now cause they are KIDS not adults.

However, don't make the other person larger than life and do not ever excuse their behavior, just be honest and non judgmental.
"I'm sorry this happened to you, but you will need to ask daddy why he didn't come pick you up this weekend. How bout we play some checkers?" That sort of thing.

Answer 3

Depending on the severity of the divorce, whether it was very violent, abusing or simply a mutual agreement, the child will be affected in different ways.

Most soiciological oberservations show that children coming from a violent divorce experience tend to have problems in later life. They stand a greater chance of experiencing the same problems within their own future marriages for example.

But this is not always te case. Some of these children (depending on many variables) will actually turn out to be the complete opposite. They will be better parents, partners etc.

Their are so many possibilities for this. But general studies show the children tend to end out normal.

Answer 4

Putting a child in the middle of a bitter divorce will make them bitter and give them a jaded view of relationships and their parents. If there is a divorce that needs to be worked out it needs to be done through the adults. Dragging children into the problem will do NO GOOD.

Answer 5

Absolutely not. I have seen what bitter divorces do to kids. It makes them wet the bed, have nightmares, cry a lot, become aggressive/angry, develop trust issues, etc. They will not grow up more experienced, and if they do become married will probably have their own issues because they have not love as it should be. Shame on two adults for doing this to a child. A child should never have to act as the adult, ever.

Answer 6

I do not think that you should put your children in the middle but if they have something to say i think that you should let them afterall they are part of the marraige/divorce process too. I have two children ages 14 and 13 and their father and i are already divorced and their father said many lies to the kids but when they came to see me for summer they saw that my life was nothing like their father had said, so now i have custody of the two and i let them express their feelings. i guess it has made them a little stronger people, they are really great kids and they are not afraid to say how they really feel and that is wonderful it is bad for kids to keep their feelings bottled up inside so for me it has made them more capable of dealing with life.

Answer 7

Is this your child? You posted a question and said you were 31 and didn't have any children yet. If this isn't even your child then of course she is going to stick by her mothers side, blood is thicker than water. But the child should not be being drug through a divorce... especially when you aren't even the biological father... You sound very selfish, controlling, and manipulative. I think it's great your wife has ended your relationship.

Answer 8

children thrive best in a secure and loving family... i don't see how being in the middle of their parents bitter feuding (whether the parents are divorcing or not) can make them a better and stronger person... they will become insecure and will be unable, or at the least find it very difficult, to form stable relationships with others when they are adult... and it will make them less likely to be able to deal with the bad things that life throws at them

Answer 9

It makes them very vulnerable and emotionally unstable, with possibly severe psychological damage.

Be amicable and civilised - if possible and the child will be happier and be able to accept lifes pressures and thus be more experienced and capable of dealing with what life throws at them!

Answer 10

take it from a child who has been there. its not going to make them stronger, just more emotional about things. children should never be put in the middle of something like that; it just confuses them. they will be forced to take sides and blame themselves. they wont deal with life's c**p; they have a chance of doing life's c**p at, most likely, an early age (that last part hasnt happened to me, but i know people like me who have).