Just as disicipline, I feel like maybe if we live in an old fashion type of marriage (such as the 40's and 50's) we'll thrive and be much happier. My husband has always been Head of our Household and he has used other forms of discipline (such as corner time, and writing lines) but never spanking. He has reserved spanking for such things as, lying, endangering myself (speeding), disrespect, foul mouthing and other more unacceptable behavior. I know a lot of women DO NOT agree with this but I care to hear opinions from some men, woman, and women who live this lifestyle. There will be NO other kind of spanking, just punishment type, no erotica, maintainance, or playful. I have not received any yet but am curious as to how this has worked for anyone else and the feelings that they got. Thank you all.
2006-09-02 02:18:48 · 29 answers · asked by tuesday 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why are some women opposed to this lifestyle? Why do some women feel that spanking will esculate into something else?
2006-09-02 02:23:53 · update #1
My goodness, I never expected this flood of comments, tirades and opinions, agian I thank all of you, yes even those of you who are closed minded to this lifestyle.
It's not like my husband is going to be standing over me with his belt in hand waiting for that split second I screw up. He is a very gentle loving man who loves and protects me and he cherishes every moment we have together, he's not a monster by any means.
2006-09-02 02:53:38 · update #2
Domestic Discipline is a life style that is not spoken about publicly very much. When you dare to even mention the word “spank” you have all these out cries of how spanking never achieves anything but teaching violence and such. Hogwash! While it is not the life style my wife and I choose, we have a set of very good friends that incorporate this into their life and have a very happy marriage for it. Please ignore all the idiots here on Yahoo Answers. If this is a decision that you and your hubby have decided on TOGETHER then go with it. Lay out ground rules and such. My friend and his wife agree that a spanking is earned only when she is willfully disobedient, rude or disrespectful. Not when she forgets to pick up bread on the way home, bites her nails or burns dinner. Find a good support for your lifestyle. May I suggest the following links.
http://fondlyandfirmly.com/
http://fondlyandfirmly.com/new/
Good luck
RR
2006-09-03 16:08:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
Corporal punishment within a consentual relationship can inhance and enrich. Consentual domination and submission is a structured lifestyle that allows full developement of natural roles. Most submissives are not doormats but strong healthy intelligant partners who understand the need for control and guidence in their life. It grounds them. It has the same effect on the Dominant partner.
I would suggest spelling things out and writing them down so that you both understand the limitations. You need to have a formal agreement, and I would sugget a written contract. If your husband, even with consent, hits you, in some states he can still be arrested and prosecuted for assault. All you need is one nosey neighbor overhearing a spanking.
People for the most part did not live this kind of life in the 40's and 50's. Don't confuse what you are doing with the low self esteem and irrational need to control that brings on domestic violence.
Don't be afraid to seek out support in your local BDSM community. You do not have to participate in BDSM sex play, but the relationship you are describing is very much a Master/slave relationship and many, many people live their lives this way. You need to have a base of community that understands the purpose and benefits of such a lifestyle. Its a whole lot easier to tell a friend, oh I got a spanking last night and NOT have to deal with them wanting you to call some domestic violence hot line.
You are not alone, and you are not weird, sick or being demeaned. You are doing something that is right for your relationship, good for you both.
2006-09-02 02:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay, there's a reason that women in the '60's and '70's began the women's liberation movement. If women were happy about the '50's lifestyle, then why did they completely change things?
If you want to start getting punished by spanking by your husband, then that is your business. But you have to know what you've gotten yourself into. You've already given him the power to be the head of the household and to make all the rules and make sure they're followed. And if you're now allowing him the power to hit you as well, and yes, spanking is hitting, then be prepared for escalation.
That is what people in power do, especially men to their wives. They find more reasons to punish and more severe ways to do it. Plain and simple.
2006-09-02 03:28:46 · answer #3 · answered by Brackalicious 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'm not apart of any disciplinary type of relationship, so I don't know personally, but I do know a couple living in a relationship such as yours and they are extremely happy with it. But personally speaking, I find this a way of you giving your husband the "right" and permission to abuse you if and when he feels it necessary, whether or not you do cause it's when he sees fit. What do you do? Go out and do bad things just for the abuse or does he dish it out whenever he feels the need? If you ask for it, that's one thing, but if he's doing it anyway, that's physical abuse.
If living this way is what you want, they by all means enjoy it.
2006-09-02 02:38:57 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
DD isn't my thing, but I know several couples who practise it and for them it seems to work just fine. What I've never quite been able to believe is that a guy can spank his wife/girlfriend without either of them finding it in any way erotic.
But if you think you can successfully divorce discipline from eroticism, and if the whole set-up is - as it seems to be from what you say - entirely consensual, then I don't see how you're to be condemned for it. Good luck, and may your marriage thrive!
2006-09-02 04:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I understand that women should let her man feel like he is head of the household but the methods that you're talking about sounds more of a dictatorship. No person has the right to hit another. You should be his partner not his child. You can do many things to make a man feel important in his household without him having the right to spank you. The best way that I see to resolve issues within a household is to respect each other and openly to communicate with one another and you can do that without spanking. I get your point about the 40's and 50's but it was not because a man had control of his wife, it is because men back then had more respect and valued their women more than today. Most men in my opinion back then appreciated a woman that was intelligent, family orientated, and made strides to make her man and family happy while a lot of modern day men measure the woman he shoud be with by looks alone. You don't have to spank anyone to get respect.
2006-09-02 02:48:45 · answer #6 · answered by sam 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
What did u asked? Are you insane? When you first asked I thought it was for the children and I would had said NO also.
But for you. That is ridiculous, I have never heard of a husband putting a wife on time out or spanking. ARE YOU HIS CHILD OR WIFE? I suggest a MENTAL EVALUATION for both of you.
I cannot even write after seeing your ?.
*******you know what, I had to leave the computer and compose myself.. You are the freak that is allowing your dear hubby to do this to you. You are nuts. Why? Low self esteem. I wonder how that hapenned? Get help you are not a normal human.
What ever happened with Iam woman let me roar?***************
From: tuesday
Subject: Problems
Message: *yawn* that's the problem with society today, you are probably one of those women who think a woman president would be something to cheer about, I love my husband and I'll respect his RULES and his wishes
Is this all you can come back at me with? Then you silly girl, then why ask the question***********************************************
2006-09-02 02:31:03 · answer #7 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Salam Yes you and your husband as Muslims have to get married again or renew your marriage in line with Islam because the past marriage you both were not Muslims so it is not valid anymore.
2016-03-27 04:15:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't listen to any of these ignorant people. Spanking is NOT abuse.
These other people either have closed minds that are not open to anything that might seem "not normal" or "weird" to them OR they are very young and immature and have no concept of an real adult relationship. Please ignore them and don't take anything they say to heart. Again people spanking between two consenting adults is NOT ABUSE.
It seems to me that you have already had (and accepted)discipline from him. And more importantly you have done things that earned and merited his to spank and punish you. You deserved his punishments. There is nothing wrong with this type of relationship, if both parties agree and are consenting adults. Keyword - consensual adults.
There are many Domestic Discipline (DD) websites out there that will give you some valuable information and possible guidelines and also prove to you both that this is somewhat normal behaviors practiced by many couples. It's not that unusual between couples who are open and who communicate with each other. Another keyword: communication. And Trust.
Please go to www.shadowlane.com. There you will find an extensive links page with numerous domestic discipline pages and other websites listed. It will be helpful to you and your husband. Good luck. I hope everything works out for the best for both of you and that this type of lifestyle fulfills your needs.
2006-09-02 02:42:35 · answer #9 · answered by CuriousGirl 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I avoid anything to do with punishment for my healths sake. That just feels wrong to me and would damage the spanking fun we have in our marriage.
2014-02-22 05:06:15 · answer #10 · answered by Blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋