our 15 years of marrage?

Question

what makes a man after 15 years of marrage start looking at other women.i was small when we got married and now i,m a little big.but the same person.he said that he just wanted to see if he still it with other women.more less to see if they would still look at him.but why should that matter if we,re married.he,ll even go in to adult chat rooms and cams looking at women.but i dont do that stuff to him.have i dont something wrong.i,ve never cheated.has my weight made me ugly.please some tell what to do.

Answer 1

Sounds like he just wants to experience something "new", but I don't think that means there is something wrong with you. It's something hard to deal with, but if he really wants to be with you, then you need to let him know that you aren't going to put up with it. No matter how long you've been married, he should NOT be looking at other women and acting as of he is single. If i confused the situation, I'm sorry, i tried to understand the best i could. Good Luck-its a very tricky situation thats hard to help with but i hope he comes to his senses.

Answer 2

Your weight could be the issue, I would take care of myself and live healthy, being overweight is a health issue and it will cut down on your life span. As far as he goes the husband, tell what you feel, I personally look at porn myself but I always have even before I was married. At least he is talking to you about it and it isn't going on behind your back. Anyway I would compromise with him and tell him that I don't mind you looking at pic's and stuff but the adult chat rooms are personal and you would appreciate it if he didn't do that. People do change and you may have to do some changes yourself. I don't mean that you make all the changes to suit him but give a little and get a little. Some marriages go a whole 45 years and the people in it really don't know the other. If you are really offened by the porn then ask that he be discreet about it around you and don't let it become a problem. It is like everything else, take it in moderation. I hope I was some help, Good luck.

Answer 3

If you think you are too heavy, you are. Get your self on a diet. There is no one better in this world to woo, than your husband. Diet,n and if you don't have a killer smile, see the best cosmetic dentist in your area. When your weight is down buy, then, some great outfits. Yeah, become the new you. Why not? You still love him don't you? Then be aware that added weight is unhealthy -- unhealthy for your heart, your circulatory system, your joints, and just about anything else. If you say you are a "little big" then to the world you are "really big" . Google BMI (Body Mass Index to see what you really should weight) That crap about "I'm big boned" is just trash, honey. But do not be discouraged. It didn't take two months to put on that weight, it will be longer than two months to get it off. Join a gym. The weight will come off faster, just don't overdo, and get yourself hurt..... In the mean time, work on your dentistry. Good luck sweetie. There is a new you screaming to get out, and you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

Don't use your weight to excuse his bad behavior. Men do stupid things like look at other women. It doesn't mean anything unless you let it. If your self confidence is so low that you are threatened by chat room and cam's, then you are giving him the message that you aren't good enough and he can look elsewhere.

Big women can be sexy and beautiful. While you are on a weight loss plan (less in, more out), keep yourself as clean as humanly possible. Get your hair done in a new style and keep it that way. Always smell good. Get manicures or pedicures, or do it yourself if you can't afford it. Buy clothes that fit and are attractive. Don't wear sweats or anything baggy. Wear pretty shoes and hose. Put some makeup on.

When you are with him, listen to him, don't just talk at him. Take long walks (less in, more out). Have champagne for breakfast and then go back to bed. Think of ways to express to him how you feel about him and then do them.

If you want to keep your husband, stop feeling sorry for yourself because sorry women are not attractive to anyone.

Answer 5

Well,I am speaking from a wife's perspective,I too have been with my husband for 15 years,and I know that for myself,lately,I have been wanting to get other men's attention.Not exactly for an affair,It's just that I'm getting older,and need reassurance,that yes,I can still turn a head,every once in a while.I have also went into adult chat many times,I know for me I like it,because it is the only place,that I can truly be myself without worrying what the other person thinks about me.I can say pretty much aything I want and it doesn't matter.If they don't like it,who cares!I don't have feelings for them,so it 's not a concern whether or not they judge me.But we have been together for soo long that I feel like we are stuck in a rut.Actually I have been with my husband exactly half of my life,we got together when i was 15.I've tried to spice things up with him,but out comes the judgements,so I have about given up.If your husband is trying to spice it up with you,go with it,as long as it isn't something that would make you feel degraded as a woman.And please don't be self conscious.Just strut your stuff in front of him.If that doesn't work,then maybe you could try counseling.I know that I do not want to throw away my marriage,by any means,but I can relate to where your husband is coming from.I hope everything works out for you.Funny,I asked a similar question,just last night,but from your husband's point of view.

Answer 6

How old is hubby? If he's around 40-ish, he may be going through his 'mid-life crisis' (sort of like menopause for women only we don't do stupid shite) and just wonders if women still find him attractive, etc... If it's that, it'll blow over once it's run it's course.

If he loves you, your weight isn't going to matter that much to him. But if you have self-esteem issues with it, try losing just a bit to give you some confidence. In the meantime, buy yourself something really pretty to wear, do your makeup, have your nails done and/or your hair done... do things that make you feel good about YOU. When you feel good about you, he will, too! :)

Confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac ;)

Answer 7

He is searching for something he fears he has lost.Sounds like a mid life crisis waiting to happen.He should love you no matter what,that being said,you should love yourself enough to take care of yourself,lose the weight,start walking get back into shape.Do this for you,not him.You will feel better ,look better and gain more confidence in yourself.That may be all it takes to get his attention again.Ask him this "why does he care if other women still find him attractive?What is he looking for?What does he feel he has lost?"You have not done anything wrong accept not take care of yourself,get back into shape for you .Open communication and tell him what you just told us,see what he says.And no matter what happens keep your chin up and smile life is too short to be unhappy.

Answer 8

I honestly dont believe that he started looking after 15 yrs of marriage. He most likely has been peeking all along. You just did not notice. He probably discovered the web as an outlet for some fantasies. I think you should stop putting the burden on yourself and look to add some spice to your marriage. Try joining him while he is on the sites to see what his fantasies are and play off of them by bringing some to life for him.

Answer 9

It can be an ego thing. Unfortunately man need reassurance about themselves. Men go through mid -life crisis differently than women, they need to feel they still got it after so many years. It could be a phrase he is going through and should soon blow over. Why don't you go out and do a total make over, buy a nice sexy sleep wear and surprise him when he gets home. Let him know after all those years he still does it for you.

Have Fun!!

Answer 10

There's nothing wrong with you! Sounds like he may be feeling a bit insecure about himself and possibly starting to face the reality of getting older. It may just be a phase he is going through. It obviously hurts you that he is behaving this way. Tell him! Getting everything out in the open is the only way to get to the root of the problem.