i kept from her the fact i owed money on a credit card. i've been drinking heavily behind her back, and i was once so drunk that i came on to her sister via text message. she has since kicked me out of the house and i've hurt her so badly. what can i do to prove my love for her? i don't even fancy her sister
2006-09-02 01:28:49 · 19 answers · asked by slinky 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
after only 4 months??? lol damn what a mess.....time for you to be a man and do what is right. live as if you where still courting her if she wants to know what,where when and how you have to tell her and you dont have the same right to ask her any of those questions. take each day one by one if she says call me at this time, do it. if she says dont call. dont. even if you dont fancy yourself as a drunk enroll in those classes any how. it may or may not work to show her your trying. what you did is somthing you cant convince her of your change, you have to show her, and if your able to show her soon enough you might save your marriage. but live like your inlove even at the cost of moving forward with out her. it might be over already but the idea is to learn and not to allow it to become a pattern with your wife or next wife. i know it doesnt help much but your on the begging side and cant expect her to not be hurt and distrust you. its time to just say you screwed up and your going to never let it happen again with or with out your wife good luck i think you may need it
2006-09-02 01:42:55 · answer #1 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I checked your profile, and I have noted that you only joined Yahoo7 Answers today, and this question is all you have asked.
I will try to come up with some helpful advice for you, but my first reaction is to call you a ‘bloody idiot’!!!
Can you give me one good reason why your wife should trust you?
I am hoping you can, because you are going to have to do a damn side more than that to get her back!!!
When did you try to crack on to her sister?
Was it before or after you married your wife?
I will tell you now that whether you fancy her sister or not has stuff all to do with anything…
You betrayed your wife’s trust in you, and you hurt her really bad in the process.
If she decided to never forgive you, then it would be a case of ‘serve yourself right’!!!
I don’t know what to suggest to you.
I’m not even sure I should suggest anything.
You betrayed her once…
What’s to say you wouldn’t do it again???
How serious are you about trying to get her back?
The thing is that you are going to have to try to prove to her that you are worthy of her forgiveness.
Perhaps the only chance you have of doing that, is to sort out that ‘drinking problem’ of yours…. The problem you probably won’t even admit you have.
This is the link for Alcoholics Anonymous…
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org
It is probably the only hope you have of getting your wife back.
I suggest you make damn good use of it !!!
2006-09-02 08:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing u need to do is sit down with ur wife and tell her how much u love her and want to be with her. then next thing u need to do is get help for ur out of control drinking problem . You need to understand that when u drink u do not make rational decisions , that doesn't mean cut back that means quit u can not control urself. Go get a AA book start reading before long u will find a story like u in there. alcohol is not a good reason to lose someone u love .................... Ask my ex husband
2006-09-02 08:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by ~~*Brownie*~~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you actually do love her and want to get your marriage back on track, it is important that you do not pressure her too hard to get back together. Leave her alone for awhile, don't call her every 10 minutes crying or begging or making promises you can't keep.
In the meantime get busy working on your 'self'. Your main goal should be to make yourself a better person: quit drinking(or at least cut down significantly), work on fixing your finances, improve your general appearance and attitude towards her.
Above all, it's important that she comes to you on her own volition. You will be doing yourself a huge favor if she sees positive changes in you. When she calls you or whenever you have contact, try not to talk about the relationship...allow her to bring it up. Again, don't pressure her. All you will do is push her further away and if you truly love her, that's the last thing you want.
2006-09-02 16:42:22 · answer #4 · answered by MMR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all take control of your life.Quit drinking (it makes you stupid)and grow up.Take some responsibility for yourself,if you love this woman as much as you say you do,prove it.Tell you love her and need to get your life together so that you can be the husband she deserves.last but now least do what you say,honesty in marriage is crucial for it's survival,tell her everything good or bad.If you hide things they will come back to hurt you.Remember this,she doesn't have to take you back,you have screwed up and must pay for your stupidity.If she does decide you are worth a second try it must be a high priority to you to be a man .Get control of your drinking and your penis.You are married now,other women are now off limits and your wife should be treated like she is the only woman in the world for you,because she is.
2006-09-02 09:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by Tom S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is probably one which you do not want to hear....
Attend some AA meetings. My hubby wouldn't & he lost me.
Also you need to be completely honest with her. Hiding things is the same as lying. You have to work together to have a good marriage.
She is very hurt about your hiding these things from her...you sent her a message saying "I don't trust you, enough to share everything with you"
Now she doesn't trust you?
GO FIGURE!
Do you want to spend the rest of your life trapped in a bottle ?? or with your loving wife?? The choice is yours....get help !
2006-09-02 08:40:21 · answer #6 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her calm down and then get into some serious talk alone. Be honest and tell her how you feel about her and that you wish you will never fight. On the other hand, you try to be honest for the rest of your life.
Flowers can brighten her day up but some women think that that's a way to buy them... so be cautious.
2006-09-02 08:52:17 · answer #7 · answered by Rody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUDE!!!Her sister???? WTF do you expect??? I'm not sure if there is anything you can do, you broke a cardinal rule my friend; If a family member is hot you never ogle or act upon your desires. Now at family gatherings, Christmas, thanksgiving and such she will be paranoid of you being around HER SISTER!!! I mean c'mon its not like you cant sympathize, what if she had gotten drunk and hit on your brother? How would you feel? Especially early in the marriage! Ouch! Your screwed buddy, now you need to worry about not getting ******.
2006-09-05 21:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a woman she probley is not going to listen untill she has calmed down. tell her when you can about your credit card and it was the root of your drinking and stress. you felt lost and truely did not want to worry her because you love her and want to take care of her in every aspect. material goods may not do it. i have a suggestion... a romantic song that says how you feel and how you are sorry, tape it much more personal than a bought cd. with alittle note in it about a happy moment you have had, and tell her you want that forever....that would mean alot to me.
good luck x
2006-09-02 08:36:48 · answer #9 · answered by loopy lass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clean up your act. Get help for your drinking, get a second job to pay off your credit card. You don't start marriage out on lies. When you can respect your wife enough to not lie to her, then try to win her back. I think you blew it and she's smart enough not to waste any more time on you.
2006-09-02 08:45:01 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋