I read Stephen R. Covey's 7 habits of highly effective people. He argues there are 3 stages in our development as human beings: dependence, independence, interdependence.
Being independent is an achievement for any of us, yet the author claims interdependence is the real prize. It's when we are able to build meaningful & deep relationships with others. Life is in itself higly interdependent. Only independent people have the ability to "upgrade" their lives & become interdependent.
Being emotionally independent means that I am validated from within. I am inner directed. My sense of worth is not a function of being liked or treated well.
The question: if I achieve emotional independence and independence in general, and if I become truly interdependent and love my other half with all my heart, can I still keep my emotional independence? Or do I become emotionally dependent when I realise that without that special someone I love so much my life will never be the same?
2006-09-02 00:57:41 · 13 answers · asked by Ovidiu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes, it's possible.
2006-09-02 03:03:05 · answer #1 · answered by Beth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the other half! if they are emotionally independent at there own level, they will understand your independence as well and let you grow as a person. And yes people do change everyday. but if they understand each other, then everything is fine. This is what is called interdependence.
2006-09-02 01:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by Mooch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I achieved independance. I was truly happy on my own although far from isolated or solitary in nature or environment.
I believe in myself.
Now I have found someone to share my life. I have struggled to stay independant because I know that once I admit to or surrender to loving him I will depend on him.
Loving another means putting them first for me. In a sense making him happy is what now makes me happy, so do I depend on him for my happiness?
I think the answer, increasingly is yes. We depend on each other.
However this is not because we are 'needy' people. We were both comfortable alone and being together our happiness is not just added together as in 1+1=2 but multiplied so its more; we were happy apart but we are happier together.
2006-09-09 10:09:48 · answer #3 · answered by cate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to this is looking at the problem of co-dependence which is a major problem in relationships. Finding your true self and setting your own self worth can only help you. Everyone at some stage goes through confusing times and if you lose someone because you change, look at it as a lesson in life and move on to the next stage. It is painful but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
2006-09-09 10:01:52 · answer #4 · answered by kildarababe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a very hard one but not entirelt impossible. What I think this reference is about is that you train yourself to be emotionally independent. As I understand the way it would work is your own choice of control over your own emotions. It takes a bit of experience to choose how you are feeling about a particular, circunstance, occasion, or a person. You can give in to anger, panic, jealoucy, insecurity, etc. So I say yes, it is possible to be emotionally independent while loving someone.
2006-09-02 02:17:50 · answer #5 · answered by shortnotsilly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm..this is pretty complicated. I think it's up to the individual. I agree that being emotionally independent is the best but we are all human. we still need to be loved and love at times..the feeling of being dependent is sure to surface. I hope u get wat i mean. So conclusively we can love our significant other and yet be emotionally independent. It all depends on the situation...it's your guts and initiation that plays apart in this dependent, independent and interdependent issue.
2006-09-02 01:06:59 · answer #6 · answered by mystique_rider 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, some people in life are strong willed and non clingy and are independent. They are who they are and they can still love someone but that doesn't mean they're going to change who they are. That author is making money trying to explain this or con people into believing differently...whatever.
2006-09-02 01:10:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question.Learning to not become emotionally dependent is being interdependent.
2006-09-02 01:02:36 · answer #8 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you sit down and think about it. can you really love someone that much, that you would give up YOUR life for.??
at the end of the day your life is never the same from day to day. everything changes at some point. just realise that someday you will die, so enjoy the journey to that day.
2006-09-02 02:04:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey dude u loose her what u think u gonna die or something u sound too sensible for taht...ofcourse life will not eb the same when u loose her so no problem let it change...dont let ur fear of depending on her make u love her less and her love will support u not make u really dependent....and whne u loose her u wont be stilld ependent...so u get me
2006-09-02 01:28:14 · answer #10 · answered by Fren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋