I have been married for 10 months, and we do not believe in premarital sex. My husband is very well endowed, so sex always hurts, and I cannot enjoy any aspect of it. It makes me really sad, but I don't want to do it at all because of this, and it is really straining our relationship since I never initiate anything. Because I can never hide that I am in pain, it takes him really long to climax. He thinks we should try to do it more often so it won't hurt so much (since now it's infrequent), but the thought of this scares me. I don't want to be scared of my husband whenever he wants me. It is also hard to change mentally to being 'allowed' to have sex when I haven't before. I still kind of feel like it's wrong and dirty. Please help.
2006-09-02 00:18:19 · 17 answers · asked by TDG 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should use some lubrication this will help. I think the reason why you are in pain is because you are not relaxing. You can also try to just have him give you gentle touches and a massage before you have sex, this should relax you. try not to think about anything while you are with him, just him and the great pleasure that the both of you are going to get from letting yourselves be totally free with each other. There are other ways to have sex without penetration you should look into these. good luck to you
2006-09-08 23:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2014-09-29 14:00:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should not feel dirty or wrong about having sex with your husband, it is meant to join you together as one and make your relationship stronger. Also, have you tried different positions? Maybe you can find one that does not hurt as bad. It might help to do it more frequently, and maybe you should kind of coach your husband and tell him when it hurts so maybe he can go a little slower or not go too deep. Also, you can try using personal lubricant, I've found that it doesn't hurt as bad with it. You just have to experiment and find out what works for you. I believe that to have a healthy marriage, you have to maintain a good sexual relationship with your hubby. Good luck!
2006-09-02 00:30:29 · answer #3 · answered by dawn27 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should try being on top, control the situation a bit..?
as for the mental flip, yea.. one minute you can't, next it's all you can get and it seems strange. Your marriage is strained do too this, try to look inside yourself and see what needs to change, talk too your husband about what you put here and may have too see a councelor to help you through this time together...
your both as two extremes and need too find some common ground..
2006-09-02 00:23:50 · answer #4 · answered by Maken trax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not alone-when raised with the "no sex" thing it's hard to get out of that frame of mind-the older you are- you will realize-sex is a biological thing-that is what we are made to do-wish i would of realized that earlier- i would of had a lot more fun-any way getting back to the pain- lube it up -try on top-and guide hI'm-and when it hurts tell him to get the f--- off of you! Sorry but you should not let him hurt you!-im sure you will find a way - he'll just have to do it your way-which ever that is and tough! also one-or two drinks-and a lot of foreplay should set the mood-try the water-Jacuzzi-pool -bath tub-etc. and if you feel like your going to climax during foreplay -have him go in for the kill! good luck
2006-09-08 17:45:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
KY Jelly would work wonders. Also try some counseling for the dirty feelings you have about sex. The other thing would be to learn to perform foreplay. If you get your husband aroused before intercourse (and he to you) then a) he should not last as long and b) you would be more ready for penetration. If you love eachother he should do anything it takes to make you not hurt.
2006-09-09 06:45:52 · answer #6 · answered by ejg411 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make an appt to see your ob/gyn-he/she will be able to determine if your pain is medical or not-worrying about the situation doesn't help-if no medical reason is found, u may need the help of a therapist or u & your husband may need to experiment a bit w/ different positions. u may also want to try to use k y to provide lubrication in your sensitive area. whatever the outcome, don't give up b/c sex is a great, wonderful & important part of life & marriage
2006-09-02 01:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by momatendofrope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go and see your Doctor. Intercourse should not hurt, after the third time. Perhaps there is some thing wrong, A baby at birth weighs 6-10 Lbs and they make it out with no problem most of the time . Please go and get checked for your own sake as well as for your partner and marriage.
2006-09-09 18:07:28 · answer #8 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet a lot of women wish they were in your shoes. This is usually reversed and she wishes he was larger. Have you tried lubricants? Also, I think there may be some stretching exercises you can do. You should contact some type of therapist. Odds are very high that once you have a child this will resolve itself and everything will be cool. GOOD LUCK.
2006-09-02 00:28:31 · answer #9 · answered by Albatross 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kindly refer some books on Kamasutra both because you are first in life, and slowly to tell him what u want in a mood. Because he may hurt some time. Hence it may better to floorplay for enjoy and so many ways to enjoy the sex in life it a sweet memory in life.
2006-09-02 00:26:37 · answer #10 · answered by Somi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋