My girlfriend of 5 months broke up with me. She says it's because of her and she's afraid of committing to a relationship - she's had the same problem in the past. The talk of marriage and the long-term frightened her even though she brought the subject up and seemed so keen. I understand this but I want to help. I was willing to give her space, talk things through and take things slowly but she says she can't do this because she'll only end up hurting me. I'm heartbroken and so is she. She's not replying to my emails and PMs but we did see each other a few nights ago - it was awkward but we had fun although she refused to talk about her problem. I can't let this go - I've been in many relationships and I know this is the one. We were always very happy together and didn't fight or argue. What can I do to continue this relationship - I want her back!
2006-09-01 23:43:05 · 13 answers · asked by cheeseandeggy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Give her some time. If she's afraid of committment, the more effort you make to continue with her, is going to freak her out. Give her time and space but let her know you are there for her. If she wants to be with you, she will do what it takes to make it happen....but right now, it has to be her choice.
2006-09-02 00:48:00 · answer #1 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop contacting her for a while, i really think she needs to see what she is missing, you do not need to completely break away from her but enough so that you dont seem so desperate anymore (sorry to put it bluntly). Once she will see you enjoying yourself, being happy etc she then might get over some of her commitment phobia in order to be with you. Then if she doesnt i guess you oculd make one last attempt at getting her back, just in case she thinks you are totally not intrested anymore and was afraid to make the move. If that doesnt work then i would call it quits its obviously not meant to be. Good luck. I sincerely think she wil be much more likely to want you bakc if she realises what she has lost. Plus some women like a challange rather than a love sick puppy cz we tend to take them for granted unfortunately.
2006-09-02 07:08:22 · answer #2 · answered by lazydazy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am having the SAME problem with a guy, who despite him not wanting to commit, he still doesn't let me go...
I think you should stop contacting her for a while, no PMs etc... just give her more time to think cuz the more you contact her, even if it's not about her problem, she'd still feel the pressure because she knows what you want from her, something she is not ready. She knows that you'll be there and will get in contact when she's ready.
Good luck!
2006-09-02 06:50:37 · answer #3 · answered by Reykja 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is difficult for you. You are sure that you think there is future in your being with her and she does not agree.
You are ready to commit and she is not ready to or afraid of commitment.
A relationship needs to be made up from the willing choices of two people who are ready. You are ready and your lady is not. Her choice to not return your communications (emails and PMs) is proof of this.
You cannot hang on to something that is not there. There is no relationship now. You must let go and move on. You cannot have her back until she wants to come back.
Peter
2006-09-02 07:05:37 · answer #4 · answered by Peter H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give up,accept the fact that she won't commit to a long term relationship. Just be friends if you can but move on.
2006-09-02 06:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, hope you're doing ok, she's probly regretting it so much and wants to get over her fear of committment. She'll be wanting you back, just tell her that you are here for her and when she's ready to committ - which will be soon cause she'll be missing you! that you will be there. Good luck, you soune like a nice guy
2006-09-02 06:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by chickadee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is give her some time......though it is the hardest thing to do....I lost my girlfriend about 6 months ago...we had been dating for 2 years....she got scared of commitment....I was lost without her and we lived together....but I gave her some time and 1 month later we were perfect.....sometimes things like this make a relationship stonger ....good luck to you my friend
2006-09-02 06:49:36 · answer #7 · answered by obxyankees 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2014-03-26 19:52:34 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to her,keep telling her how you feel and give her time but don't wait forever but you still got to have a life.
2006-09-02 06:53:50 · answer #9 · answered by T.Mack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are words that will bring you two together. You need to find them and tell her what she needs to here.
Don't force the issue just be there for her with no other pressures.
2006-09-02 06:47:43 · answer #10 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋