A friend of mine has recently been left by her partner of two years. He said that he no longer loved her and left, on I feel, the implication that he was doing the right and noble thing rather than causing any more pain than necessary. This has left her very confused/hurt and wishing that he hadn't left, however, the man and the relationship she mourns only exist in her head. She is unaware that he cheated on her numerous times, had not loved her for quite some time, and thusly to the extent that he was a bad partner. If she were to discover the truth about her ex it would certainly hurt her greatly, but she would at least be aware of it and it could allow her to hate him and possibly achieve some form of closure at a sooner date. Or alternatively she could never have to suffer this knowledge now the relationship has ended and continue to look back at it with happier, albeit less than accurate, memories.
2006-09-01 23:30:18 · 19 answers · asked by Little Swallow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i was told my ex was cheating on me and i feel better about it now. i've moved on and turned that love into hate. i don't even think about him and when i run into him, i simply smile. i'm better than him. i have never cheated on anyone and never will. i continue to think i am better than him and i know i will always be better than him. it did help me to move on to know what he did.
2006-09-01 23:38:27 · answer #1 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her a big hug and tell her that she will find someone new who deserves her.
Say that the last guy didn't deserve to be in a relationship with someone as loving as you.
If she asks why tell her but only if shes persistent and tell he that you love her as a friend, not to the shot the messanger, you should have probably told her before, you are very sorry and that she must believe all guys are not like the last guy because they are not. Also tell her while it was going on, you didn't know what to do because that is true isn't it. Not telling a friend about something can sometimes be considered a lie.
I'm concerned that as she really didn't know what was going on she might get a complex about guys that will interfere with the quality of her future relationships.
2006-09-02 03:29:47 · answer #2 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes two to tango right! she woz in the relationship aswell as this man therefore she has a right to know what went on while that relationship was taking place. the man iis just heaping up trouble for himself for the future because trust me one way or the other she WILL find out about his cheatings and it probably come from another source rather than him which would make her even more upset that she couldnt trust him in the relationship and that he was cowered enough to keep it to himself. in that way the hatred would be more and create an even bigger hate in her. telling her the truth now would make her know that at least the man feels he should admit what he did and apologise for his actions and she would learn from this and not get into more bad relationships with men that are way below her level
2006-09-01 23:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by $w££t£r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's a recent break-up, telling her of his actions will not make her see him differently b/c she is heartbroken and losing the guy who was a significant person in her life is devastating. Having said that, I think she should be told b/c I don't see any downside to telling her, only good. It will help her to one day realize what a jerk he was and that he's not "all that".
I know that if I found out the guy I loved who subsequently dumped me had been fooling around during our relationship, I'd have a faster recovery.
2006-09-01 23:42:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt she could be hurt anymore than she is at the moment. She may not be all that surprised as It could be she has suspected something was wrong and put 2 and 2 together. She may not be impressed to know you knew while it was going on and didn't tell her.
2006-09-08 07:34:29 · answer #5 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a friend tell her but only when u feel she is ready 2 no. it will help her 2 get over this guy and 2 forget him.
2006-09-01 23:39:39 · answer #6 · answered by patsy-ann 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch!!!! Ouch!!! Ouch!!!! Crushing reality. He's a chicken not to tell her the whole truth. It's v possible it'll come back to haunt him because it often comes out. Yes, he told her he didn't love her anymore but leaving out details is never good. Who should tell the whole truth is a different matter.
2006-09-01 23:37:33 · answer #7 · answered by John "007"!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it, whatever you do you'll never be in the right and you'll just get dragged into the emotional mire.
2006-09-02 00:12:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she has a right to know then at least she can get some closure and move on.
2006-09-08 09:09:00 · answer #9 · answered by mk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DEPENDS IF HE WAS FEEDING HER A BUNCH OF PIPE DREAMS KNOWING THAT SHE WASN'T "THE ONE" FOR HIM, AND WASN'T "IN LOVE " WITH HER, IF HE WAS (feeding her lies. ie. he wants to marry her one day, or she'd be a good mom, things that projected an image that they had a future together)
_ THEN SHE PROBABLY ALREADY HAS FEELINGS TURNING TO ANGER AND HATE.
2006-09-01 23:39:06 · answer #10 · answered by hoecake 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋