when to care and not to care what other people think?

Question

look, i get self-concious and i crave approval.. how to adopt a carefree attitude?

Answer 1

It comes with maturity, and knowing that your motivations are the right ones. People are constantly judging you........EVERYBODY IS.....I mean, really, when have you ever looked at a stranger on the street and NOT judged them, even if it's as simple as thinking "nice smile" or "she looks friendly". People think about other people.

A good way to decide when to care or not care is to identify how important it is to have that approval. You might really care about how your friends and family see you, but decide that the crotchety neighbour next door's opinion really doesn't matter. It is important to have respect at work, but no necessarily to have friendship there (you already have friends).

In the end, if you are a decent, thoughtful human being, with a helpful, willing, open personality, the average person is going to see that. Presumably if you are asking the question, you are:)

Answer 2

People matter to us and so do their opinions (some of the time).

In matters of personal safety peoples opinions matter.

To crave approval is a problem for you because you will seek always to live to to others expectatons. Its impossible to please everyone and you never will.

How to adopt a carefree attitude? First you need to escape from the pull of approval, and you can. Some ideas thay may help :

* seek some counselling, it will help
* set your own standards, monitor and stick to them
* get a mentor, meet with them, let them help you, share your problem

Peter

Answer 3

you get a carefree attitude when you accept yourself- imperfections and all (if there are any). We are all unique and if certain people do not accept you then too bad for them. Be yourself and enjoy life as long as it is not at the expense of others. Good luck.

Answer 4

I believe it is important to consider what other people might think of you as a gauge of your actions but you should not do things based on seeking approval. Your motivation should be a desire to succeed, or get better at something, or whatever, not get praise. Try and shift your focus from approval to achievement and you may find that you get praise and approval anyway.

Answer 5

You care only with people who are sincere and honest with you. As for the others, you don't have to be bothered about what they say or think. You are the master of your life and nobody can take that away from you. Remember that!
If you allow others who don't matter to influence you, then you are allowing people to control your life. Do you want that or do you want to decide for yourself how to live your life?

Answer 6

You have to learn to love yourself- your body, your mind, etc. you are a unique person and when you are happy of youself , then other people's opinions about you shouldn't be the leading in the way you accept yourself or the way u act.

Answer 7

if you are lucky you get 70 yrs or so on this planet. do you want to be u for u or do you want to be everyones pet. plus ppl really respond to ppl who know who they are. it is just so rare anymore in the world we live in. if you do what u want and live how you want to live ppl will approve. not at first but someday you will get all the attention you can handle just by being you.

Answer 8

first you have to learn to love yourself before other people can enter your world, take a few moments in each day to stand in front of a mirror and say out loud i love me, i love me i love me, this may make you feel silly at first but in time you will love you as well as others to...best of luck

love Jane xx

Answer 9

I know how you feel....my motto has always been treat others as you would want to be treated......if you treat others good that goodness will come back to to you!! Just always be yourself...not what you think others would want you to be.