this is after turning up at my house at all hours forcing me to have an abortion. He now wants me to sign a contract saying he has nothing to do with the child will never see it and not pay for it. Also we planned this child and he went round telling all family members and he proposed to get married. I live on my own everyone knows Im pregnant and besides I really want this child, the thing is this harassesment is really upsetting me what should I do? He is 35 and Im 30 this both are first child.
2006-09-01 21:39:45 · 57 answers · asked by oceanwaves 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you planned the child hje should have thought about what he wanted first. My advise don't sign anything, ask your local Police station about getting a restraint order against him.
He put that life inside you and he should pay what he owes for that. If it was an accident my thought would be different.
By the way i am a man and i think his behavior is disgusting!
Ludacrispix... just in answer to your reply. It is possible for a parent to "sign out" of their parental rights. It is a simular concept to putting a child up for adopton. If both parents agree they can ensure that the "father" is removed from all records in relation to this child. He will not have to pay child support, but also looses ant rights to see that child ext. He can be treat as a totall stranger. I know this from personal experience (not my children i may add). I use father as a very loose word. anyone can get a Woman pregnant, but the real father is the one who sticks with the child to look after and care for it!
2006-09-01 21:43:15 · answer #1 · answered by friskydragon 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
FIRSTLY, i feel so bad for you having to go through this when it is supposed to be one of the most important times in your life, you and this child deserve better and to think that ye had planned this baby and ***###e revokes his side of the contract. DONT sign a thing unless you know for sure that you can manage financially without him if you can sign the papers but make sure he can not see that child or have any contact with him?her ever again. I had a baby under very hard circumstances at the time but now i am very happily married with two beautiful children that i love and adore. put your unborn child first. this is a precious time having your first baby harassment is the last thing you need for you and the baby. this man sounds like he is 35 going on 16, do you think you could put up with that for the rest of your life? I really hope that things work out for you and your baby, congrats!!
2006-09-02 05:21:53 · answer #2 · answered by EMMA O 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh my God. You poor thing. Don't sign anything. Don't let this *** harass you. Do you have the support of your family at least? Could you work and support the child on your own? Many women have had children on their own and made it work. You are stronger than you think. You can do this. It will be difficult and scary, but you can do this. There is a chance that once he sees the baby or gets used to the idea that he will grow up and step up to the plate, but you have to move forward as if he is a lost cause. He may just be panicing now and may regret his actions later. Nevertheless, you have to let him go and focus on you and your child now. Clear your head and take charge. Do not allow yourself or your baby become victims to this irresponsible man. If there is any chance at all for this guy to come around, it will only be after you have taken charge and shown him you neither need him nor will be intimidated by him. Good luck.
2006-09-01 21:50:46 · answer #3 · answered by omchanti 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DO NOT SIGN IT.
And, contact a lawyer. What he is doing is harassment and he has no right to do all this to you, especially when he knows you are pregnant. Just consider yourself lucky that you found out what a true loser he is before you got married or wasted more time with him. The fact that he does not want to pay for his own child shows what an egotistical bastard he is. If you fear for your safety, get a restraining order. You can still collect child support and have a restraining order against him.
Protect you and your child.
Good luck. And, congratulations! Don't let his nastiness ruin a truly beautiful thing...
2006-09-01 21:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by snape4good 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should get a temporary restraining order against the man in question. This is harassment, and the stress can be harmful to you. Do not sign anything, and if the moron speaks to you again, tell him your attorney advised you that you have the right to support, and that you are not to sign any papers relieving him of his legal obligations. Also, don't make it easy for him! Men sometimes kill their children, and the children of others, to get them out of the way. It is a very sickening sad fact that we are not far removed from the instinctual behavior of pack animals! Do not let him see the child once it is born. His payment of support is a totally seperate issue than visitation, and if he truly wanted it, he would have to gain his own legal representaiton, and file a motion in a totally different court! What are the chances of him doing that just because he has to pay support?!!Good luck!
2006-09-02 04:15:23 · answer #5 · answered by alone1with3 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's entirely up to your discretion. If you believe that your child would be better off without the sperm donor in your lives (and it sounds like this is the case) You want the most calm, safe and loving environment for your baby. Though the child has a right to be supported by it's biological parent...you can file for support of the child in any case, agree to a lesser sum perhaps but fewer visitation rights....but with such an act as you are describing...he may become worse! If I were you...I wouldnt even put his name on the BC and I'd move a million miles away!!
2006-09-01 21:58:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't sign anything, but even if you did a contract like that would be absolutely worthless. I can't imagine how dim he'd have to be to think that it would.
If he really wants nothing to do with the baby that's his decision, but it would be worth pointing out to him legally he's obligated to contribute to the baby's upbringing and it would be easier all round to sort it out between yourselves without bringing external agencies into it.
I'd be cautious about going to the police right now, I'm not sure what they could do immediately anyway. Have you tried talking to his family? In my experience Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents usually want to keep in touch and they have every right to , not to mention it's beneficial for your baby.
If you explain the situation (as nicely as you can) they may also be able to influence your boyfriends behaviour and stop him been such an idiot.
Sorry things are so difficult for you right now, but try not to get to stressed and concentrate on that beautiful little child you'll have at the end of it all.
2006-09-01 22:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the two of you planned this pregnancy, then I would do 4 things.
1. Get a restraining order.
2. Get a good Lawyer.
3. Get Child Support (Don't sign anything unless your lawyer says OK)
4. Have that kid.
By the way, I am a guy, and a single parent with custody.
2006-09-01 21:50:34 · answer #8 · answered by xian_ist 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you are feeling threatened physically or mentally then protect both yourself and your unborn child. Change the locks and don't let him in.
Talk to your family and friends about your desire for this child and the need you have for help. Make no demands of him whatsoever either emotionally or financially. Keep your dignity. He's behaving like a heel and everyone will see that.
There are a couple of possible outcomes from this. One you never see him again and need to resort to the law to get the maintenance and financial support you need. or two when the baby is born he and or or his family may feel different and wish to play some role in your child's life.
Whatever happens it will be important for your child's mental welfare to know who their father is in the future. You need to make sure that can happen.
You will be a good mom. trust your instincts.
2006-09-01 21:58:15 · answer #9 · answered by Dancemomma 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to the police, get a p.o. (protective order) against him. DON'T SIGN ANYTHING. Take him to court and make him pay for child support. To be 30 sister, you need some growing-up. The guys a jerk. Why you would want him around in the first place is beyond me, but, hey, I'm not you.
2006-09-01 21:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋