How does your gender affect the decisions you make?

Question

When it is just what I want to do vs. what I should do, it's pretty easy to decide ultimately because I can't live completely hedonistically. However, when it comes to things where I feel like I'm expected to act a certain way because of my gender, particularly because it goes against how I WANT to act, I come into conflict. I hate gender roles, so I feel like on one hand I should be able to behave how I want and not be judged any differently than a man, but that's not always how it works. One place this typically is a problem is dealing with sexuality.

Basically what I'm asking is girls, do you find yourself stuck in this kind of situation, and how do you deal with it? And guys, what's your take on the whole thing? Am I making a big deal of nothing, or is it still important that girls play the "girl" role, as in not playing hard like one of the boys?

It's like you have to chose between pure or whore.

Answer 1

You should act however you feel the situation demands. Do not be concerned with "manly" or "womanly" behavior. Also, do not fear to be judged by the behavior you chose and do not judge others for theirs. I will say that it is nice that women have a choice though. My Fiance can change the brake pads or the oil if she wants but I am not going to put on a dress or make-up (not that I either of us would want to do those things). I personally enjoy watching women do "men" things. I have played full contact football with women. I served in the Army with women who were gunners. But I have to admit, I also enjoy "acting like a man" when my fiance asks me to "kill that damn spider" or when I open the door for her and she smiles.

So technically to your first question, gender (besides the physiological fact I am a man) plays a large role in the decisions I make, BUT I do not care what others think if I happen to make a "womanly" decision or action.

To your second question, it is only a big deal if you want us "men" to accept that you can act in whatever manner you wish, but do not allow us to do the same. Again I personally like seeing women do me things. I will ALWAYS, protect the women in my life, including my Grandmothers, Mothers, my Fiance, my Daughter, and any other of my Women friends regardless of their desire for me to do so. By the way, that is a respect I have for women, not that they cannot do it for themselves, since my Mother is a retired law enforcement officer and my Fiance is an accomplished martial artist.

And to the last statement "It's like you have to chose between pure or whore." I do not know what you are truly refering to. A man is still a whore if he sleeps with a multitude of women. We, men AND women, just do not typically use the same term.

Answer 2

Social sterotypes have come along way in the last 50 years, enovid made it posible for women and men to enjoy sex without the risk of unplanned pregnancy. Puritanical ideals that the founding fathers still exist even though the reasoning for those same ideals is gone. Live free of "old world" roles exercise your right to vote and be a human being.

Answer 3

It really doesn't.

Personally, I am affected daily by gender-based assumptions. I manage a warehouse and will-call for a retailer; my job is usually handled by a man, I work for two men, I have fourteen men and only one woman working for me, my couterpart at our other location is a man who has four men working for him. (It's a small lagoon of testosterone, hidden in the sea of estrogen that makes up the retail world!)

I have known male customers to 1. physically take the merchandise away from me, 2. physically interpose himself between me and the merchandise so he can load it himself, or in one case, 3. hand me (total stranger) his infant and load the merchandise himself.

The way I look at it, if some dumb@ss thinks that after I pull his merchandise down from stock, cart it up to staging, and then get it all the way out to his SUV, somehow I'll magically wilt into a frail flower who desperately needs his help to lean it onto the rear bumper and lift the back end ~ well, that's his wife's problem for marrying suck a jerk. He's walking away and I'm just going to smile and thank him for his business - at least to his face!

That's a bit off subject from your comments regarding sexuality, but it points out the ingrained, subconscious thoughts that are never addressed - the assumption that men and women are different on ALL levels, and that those differences "naturally" lead to different behaviors.

My sexuality is a result of my humanity. As such, I can be as much or as little of a sexual object as I care to be, and it shouldn't have a d@mn thing to do with my gender.

But tell that to 50,000 years of male-domination. In most cultures, we've always acted like the genders constitute different races. It's been in a few civilizations (Minoans for example) and recent history that women have been recognized as equal, and that we have tried to make it about who you are as an individual. Unfortunately, we're still not doing well. Most girls and women still feel pressured (at least a little bit) to behave certain "proper" ways. Certain behaviors are deemed inappropriate for women - but are fine for men.

Bottom line is, do what feels right for you. Be realistic enough to know that some stupid and/or misguided people will tell you you're wrong for it, be strong enough to know theycan't tell you what to do, and be gracious enugh to only fight the battles that are worth it.

Blessed be!

Answer 4

I love to prove people wrong. People often underestimate me...intellectually and physically. My decisions are based on basically that...to prove people's perception of me as a petit woman wrong.
A couple of months ago, my husband went overseas. My husband told his friend to call now and then and ask if he could be of any help. My answer was always no. I told him that I just installed a gate all by myself...or I transported a sink (two sinks attached to each other---old style) made of solid cement from the back yard to the front yard all by myself....lol. My husband thinks I have super powers....it's hilarious. It's fun to be a woman...because I can switch from being helpless to having super powers- just like that!

Answer 5

i imagine if both human beings can stay respectful then it may journey. i replaced into in a courting with an atheist and he replaced into in order that condescending. i'm no longer a dedicate christian, yet I have my beliefs, replaced into raised in the church and attempt to stay an honest existence. My mom continuously inspired us to locate different religions. i'm very tolerant of others beliefs and basically type of pass with the pass. we are all diverse and that is excellent via me. notwithstanding the ex? Oh pricey. If I a lot as suggested God, Jesus, or church, even in passing. If he heard me recite the Lords prayer, talked about me reading the bible, some thing! He ought to pass off. loose it thoroughly and commence ranting about how i'm a f*cking fool and how someone in the international who believes in some thing except human existence is a moron that in his words "should be faraway from the gene pool'. All I ever heard replaced into how all christians actually tried to shove their ideas down your throat without appreciate for extraordinarily own beliefs. He broke up with me quickly when I went off explaining that he's absolute disrespect replaced into no diverse from those he raved adversarial to and actually made him precisely like the "illiberal, moronic jesus fanatics". i replaced into continuously calm and respectful, I allow him have his ideas and not in any respect pushed my beliefs at him in any respect structure or kind. yet his personality is what made it no longer artwork. no longer the very shown reality that he's an Atheist. a minimum of no longer on my area.

Answer 6

yes it has bearing on which door i go through with public toilets ,i tend to chose the mens room.
also it helps in making descisions on what type of clothes i buy
i am prompted by my gender to buy mens clothes .
and when i order a hamburger ,i want a king size ,not a queen size.
and there are many things ,where the gender definately plays a role ,in my actions