I'm in college, and I have a friend who recently came out to our group of friends, but he told me and my boyfriend about a year ago that he was gay. It has led him to depression and attempted suicide, which he has gotten help for. However, he still has major drinking issues, which I can see going back to his same habbits. He can't seem to have fun without alcohol, as if he is trying to erase something. When someone tries to say something about it, he gets really defensive and leaves. How can we help him?
2006-09-01 19:47:58 · 5 answers · asked by I heart art 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Seems to me he didn't get enough help. this is definitely a case for a professional. don't talk to him about his problem when he's drinking, catch him when he's sober. Find out whether he's told his family, because that may be his problem. people always find it harder to tell their family then their friends. perhaps he has told them and they are giving him a hard time. whatever the case he needs professional help.
2006-09-01 19:57:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People with drinking problems are usually carrying some hurt deep inside- which even they may not be fully aware of.
You said your friend is gay, and that led to depression.
How was his "coming out" received by other people?
Is he "ashamed" of his sexually?
I know, from my own life, that the drink is often not the real problem, but a syptom of a much deeper problem.
My best advice is to approach him in a non threatening way, and try to get him to open up to you. Be persistant. It wont happen straight away.
oh..
and i suggest a weekend ( or longer if possible) away somewhere- where alcahol is not available. ( But dont mention this to your friend at least not at first). Go with a group of others who care, and let them know whats going on. If your friend can survive this time without the grog, and sees that he can have fun and feel accepted, without grog, it will really give your friend some much needed confidence, and give you, and your friend, a foundation on which to build. From here you slowly extend the booze free days, until your friend realises that "I can live without booze". He will go backwards, i can guarentee it, but persistance will get you over the line.
LIke i said before, the booze itself may not be the real issue.
This is where being an accepting, understanding friend, will help you. He must first of all feel that he CAN open up to you, before he will. And he does need to open up to someone.
Hope this helps- both you and your friend.
2006-09-02 03:11:17 · answer #2 · answered by TOP DOG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Denile is a pain in the but. It is a shield that will leave a man in everlasting ignorance. The hardest thing to do is to let him go. There is nothing you can say to him until he is ready to accept help. I have been sober for six years in alcoholics anonymous. I had to go to the absolute hell to come to the wonderful life I know today.
I would say to him one time. I think you should try and get some help such as AA. Include that I am going to say it only once becouse I care about you.
If his drinking bothers you and gets to impede in your life it is only fair to yourself to seperate from him. It takes a loss to see the light so to speak. I hope this helps.
2006-09-02 03:33:05 · answer #3 · answered by destinrobnurse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Got to ALANON meetings. Suggest he go to AA. Then back off. Friends and fam can plan an intervention, but there is no guarantee the person will go for it.
2006-09-02 02:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by FoudaFaFa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pray for him and that will help. try to explain that he needs God's love and be really good with him!
2006-09-02 03:25:46 · answer #5 · answered by tatal_nostru2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋