Mostly because I like having a plan like that. Anyways I had him list the possibilities that he could think of. He said abortion or he woud marry me and we could raise a family. Well I immeadiately told him that unless both the babay and I would die if I carried the baby to term that abortion was not an option for me. Then I suggested Adoption and he says "Adoption is ok but I wouldn't want anyone else raising a baby I helped create." I knew another guy who said adoption wasn't an option for him. The girl would either have to abort or marry him. He gave the same reason. Why is it that these guys (and I think lots more) would rather kill a baby then have the child be raised by someone else? I think that that is horrible. What are your opinions on this?
2006-09-01 18:47:56 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I'm on the pill but I know that no birthcontrol method is 100% effective except for abstinence. I am still going to have sex but I know if I do get pregnant that I need to face the consequences and not take the "easy" way out by having an abortion. I also think that since I am mature enough to understand this and mature enough to have a plan that I am also mature enough to have sex (unlike all of the kids on here under 18 that are worried they are pregnant).
2006-09-01 19:00:07 · update #1
I agree with neko, that maybe it's just some kind of twisted pride thing. But I'm with you, though. Abortion will never be an option for me, because I am morally against it. I will always reccomend adoption as the best alternative to raising a child.
However, I don't think that marrying just for the sake of the baby is a good idea, either. It may work out at first, but if there are problems or you get a divorice, you could end up resenting the child for being the cause of the marriage, and also, studies prove that children of single parents, or divoriced but civil parents are much happier than children of unhappily married couples, especially if they are staying married 'for the sake of the kids.'
I like to think about things like that too, if for no other reason than to have a contingency plan. You sound smart, and you don't sound like you are in this boat right now, so good luck in whatever, and I hope that everything goes great when, and if, you decide to have a child sometime down the road!
2006-09-01 19:01:56 · answer #1 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically.......if you have sex, especially unprotected sex (no condom, birth control, etc) there is a very good chance that you will become pregnant. I always laugh when people act like it is a crisis. You have sex..that is the chance you are taking....BOTTOM LINE.
Abortion and Adoption are personal choices. I believe woman should have a choice whether or not she wants to have an abortion, although I do not agree with some women who use it as birthcontrol.
I applaud young girls who realize that they are too young to care for a child, because they are still children,who have the courage to put their child up for adoption in the hope of providing a better live for their child. It is a selfless act.
It is disheartening to see young girls have babies and think that it is a nice shiny new toy...briefly...and then decide they don't want to care for their kid. So the grand parents are raising the children.
Why would a guy prefer an abortion? Because they don't have to worry about their past coming back to haunt them and the issue of financially supporting a child.
2006-09-02 02:01:21 · answer #2 · answered by Shanan D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a good guy. Don't forget, if you ever do get pregnant, whatever happens is ultimately your decision. I think that their views on adoption can't be generalised to all men - but people have their own opinions. I don't know why they'd prefer abortion to adoption, and I suspect neither do they really. I wouldn't want to give a child up for adoption as I think in a way it'd be an easier answer to abort - so that I wasn't a mother, so it would just end. But people think differently. I'm at a point now when I'm with you - I wouldn't abort unless there was something seriously wrong with it or with me, but in the past I would have aborted (I think) rather than carried it to term and adopted it. It's quite a minefield, but as I say, it sounds like you've got a good guy on your hands.
2006-09-02 04:21:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men tend to be less caring about the whole abortion thing mostly because they dont ever have to carry it. They cant seem to comprehend what they have created: a human being. I believe that abortion is wrong. I would opt for adoption if you were not a secure couple or financially unstable. He needs to understand that the family that will be "so called raising his child" wants nothing more than to have a child: you will be giving them the most precious gift on earth, not a burden. Hopefully you dont concieve until you are married to a wonderful man and you both desire a baby =)
2006-09-02 02:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, let me just say, I cannot imagine telling someone they had to have an abortion. The options I would offer would be to have the baby and we'd get married or give the baby up for adoption if you don't think we can raise it. I can't imagine aborting the baby rather than letting someone else raise it if I'm not able to. That's like saying, "well if I can't have that toy, nobody can!!!!" This is a human life we're talking about. You can't treat a baby like an object.
2006-09-02 01:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by cool_breeze_2444 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a guy and I don't know what to say. It is a difficult situation if you
have unwanted pregnancy. So if something like that ever happens, even after all those birth control pills and condom. I think abortion is the way out if you don't want to raise a child. The problem with adoption is you cannot just give up your child to someone and forget all. So??? I think don't know the answer.
2006-09-02 02:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by san 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because there are not really a lot of options out there. Have the baby, and not get married, get married, adoption or abortion. Guys know that a girl could choose to have an abortion and there is nothing that they could do to stop them....even if they were married. My Aunt and Uncle (My mom's brother) got divorced because she decided that she wanted to abort their 3rd child together than to have it.
2006-09-02 01:52:11 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion on this is that if a guy gets a girl pregnant he should be a man and do as much as possible to take care of the girl and the child and always be there for them that's what i would do and marry the person because i child these days needs to have both a mom and dad to look up to .
2006-09-02 02:01:23 · answer #8 · answered by bones1009 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't be that bad if he is willing to get married. I think the reasoning is that if a child of his was born, then he would want to be involved in its life. NOT that he would rather it die than go to someone else. In other words if you got pregnant and had a baby he would prefer you give it to him to raise rather than give it to a stranger if you didn't want it.
2006-09-02 02:04:28 · answer #9 · answered by AR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think that's horrible, too.
Guys just think differently. Almost all guys (except for the really religious ones) think abortion is okay or that it's the mothers choice. Guy's brains are just wired differently than ours... and they are way less mature than we are. He will change his mind about abortion once he has a child.
2006-09-02 01:52:31 · answer #10 · answered by geskuh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋