I have a boyfriend but I still think about this guy I was involved with but never dated. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be with him and then others I'm glad I have a caring and loving boyfriend already. There's still apart of me that wonders and it drives me nuts. Why do I feel this way and what can I do about it?
2006-09-01 17:53:31 · 8 answers · asked by bri 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's completely normal feeling the way you do. We always wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. As long as you don't act on your feelings there is nothing to worry about. Daydreaming about others is a healthy way to actually keep you from cheating. As long as you don't get carried away with your fantasies have a good time with them, you're not hurting anyone.
Now, if you actually have feelings for this other guy, that's different. If you have feelings for him then you are going to have to ask yourself which one of these guys do you care more for. If the answer is your boyfriend, then stop the daydreaming and fantasies about the other guy now and get him out of your head before it starts to destroy your relationship and your feelings start to change for your boyfriend.
If the answer is the other guy, then you better have a good long talk with yourself and see if your boyfriend is indeed who you really want to stay in a relationship with or if you should break it off with him and pursue the other guy.
Life's too short. Go after what makes you happy but in the process try to hurt as few people as possible. Remember, your boyfriend has feelings too, so if you are going to dump him for the other guy, do it gently. After all as you said, he was caring and loving to you.
2006-09-01 18:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by Chaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, I made a choice 20 years ago that I wish I could take back. I divorced the choice I made.
I am remarried to a wonderful women (14Yrs) and happy.
2 years ago at the mall I seen the one I let go. She was married happy and doing well. She still looked great. When we split long ago she was very hurt and I never had the nerve to say I'm sorry. That day at the mall before we said our goodbyes, I told her she was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life and I dont mean that in a bad way. She smiled, hugged me and thanked me.
I wouldnt trade what I have now for anything, but I will always wonder " what if" about the one that got away.
2006-09-02 01:32:43 · answer #2 · answered by noname 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have this same thing. I'm married but there is this guy I had a crush on every since I was 12. I keep thinking about him and wondering how things would have been if it were different. I see him around sometimes and it breaks my heart! I think I still love him to some extent, but I don't even know who he is anymore. Ugh, this kind of stuff sucks. I wish I knew something to do, but I just don't.
2006-09-02 00:57:02 · answer #3 · answered by Carrie! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur fantasizing about another lover. U have to realize that u r comparing ur BF to a fantasy. Something that u can create and have custom fit as U choose. How can ur BF compete w/ that? Why dream about something that isn't? There usually isn't anything wrong with fantasizing if, u don't let it interfere with reality and that, UR. Concentrate on what U have and not on some figment of ur imagination. U might end up losing what u have for something u can never have.
2006-09-02 01:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by Timber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just a crush to have feelings for someone, even when you have a b/f whom you say cares and loves you. But the other guy may not have the same feelings for you. Knowing that you have a steady b/f he may just want to remain friends. Therefore, resist the temptation to have any special contact with the other guy.
2006-09-02 01:18:42 · answer #5 · answered by yuvan53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As an older adult I can tell you that you will feel this way the rest of your life. You have yet to learn what love is but even when you do and meet the one you marry, this question will still arise. Sow your wild oats now and experience all of life's joys; sorrows, but most important, learn from them all. Only then will you answer your own question.
2006-09-02 01:07:08 · answer #6 · answered by charles j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its all a part of your fantasy and it will always remain in your subconscious until the day you go out with this dream boy. Relax all will be well enjoy what you have now.
2006-09-02 00:57:44 · answer #7 · answered by Pat Wardhan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u are probably getting bored and your mind starts to wander in places it shouldnt be i say try to keep yourself occupied and to not be bored
2006-09-02 00:57:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋