horrible sometimes. i've been working hard to put this whole trip together, and he hasn't even done a thing...i don't know if he's even thanked me. and tonight, after a really bad day at work, and a week where i barely got any sleep, and being incredibly stressed out, he got mad and took it out on me...im so tired of this...of crying and feeling horrible again and again. he always has"good reasons" for getting angry, but then finds some excuse the next day (sorry;"i was tired") to dismiss it. i'm a really supportive, loving gf and i know i don't deserve to be treated this way. i want to be with someone who appreciates me and doesn't explode in anger all the time. i don't even know anymore if this is normal..because of his anger, i'm always second-guessing myself. anyway,our flight leaves tomorrow for the weekend (and is non-refundable). my face is red from crying, i'm beyond exhausted(no sleep all week,from trip planning),stressed to the max, and i still have to pack. what should i do?
2006-09-01 17:40:09 · 28 answers · asked by melon_rose 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You've already answered your own question. Take your vacation (with out him). When you come back let him know you're through. As long as you keep doing everything, he'll never change. That crap just isn't worth it.
2006-09-01 17:44:07 · answer #1 · answered by Ray 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even think about going with that jerk. His anger will keep escalating until it becomes physical or worse. Get out now. Chalk up the trip to expensive lesson learned. Feeling horrible is a terrible way to go through life, not only will it affect you mentally but physicallly as well. Life is way too short to be in a crappy relationship. If he really respects you he wouldn't get angry all the time with you. Something else to think about. What happens when you go on this trip and he gets pissed and leaves you stranded with no friends or relatives nearby for help of any kind? Do yourself a favor and spend your vacation time packing up and getting away from him for good. Best of luck, hope you make the right decision.
2006-09-01 17:48:01 · answer #2 · answered by Robert V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, its not normal and you should unpack and stay unpacked. You should stop crying and not take that verbal and mental abuse anymore. You should get mad and put your foot down and take back control of your life. You have a childish, insecure boyfriend who needs to have a taste of his own medicine. Don't go, don't listen to apoligies and make some changes soon. You should know by now its not going to stopp. Be strong girl, I can tell you are. His anger will someday get out of control and its you that will be the worse for it. Take control now. Let him make the excuses why the vacation didn't happen. You have a good one. Stop playing games before its too late. I know because I been in the same situation and hung on way too long. Stand STRONG.
2006-09-01 19:16:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he has anger issues and maybe he doesn't want to take this vacation if you feel he does this truly al the time you have issues . if he refusews to talk to you open honest and without blowing up is this something you are willing to deal with? if he will talk to you calmly wait till you both calm down and say what you feel if you are to strung out it could be that in all your planning he feels neglected and like it would be better to plan a weekend at home just the two of you no phones no cells no tv no outside pressures. nothing really to plan.If you still want to go on this vacation take the time to relax and talk and reconnect with one another if you think you are at the point of no return see if the airline will let someone else go in his place and invite your best friend or sister or mom or something and leave him to sulk at home, after all absence makes the heart grow fonder.
2006-09-01 17:50:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
end packing, bypass on the holiday, and once you're away think of to your self if it fairly is the way you opt to stay your existence -- continuously 2nd-guessing what to declare and coping together with his disrespect and offended words. There are no "solid motives" for him to get mad with you because of the fact he's had a bad day. you're genuinely perfect -- that's fairly not customary and in case you reside with him you're putting your self up for a complete life of verbal abuse. "i'm sorry" by no ability makes the harm bypass away, extraordinarily if he's not actually sorry. Have a restful time and think of extra approximately your destiny with this individual.
2016-11-06 06:30:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds just like my relationship i know how u feel. me and my bf got into a big fight today and he just wouldnt stop saying **** about me he made me feel the worst that i have ever flet he yelled and screamed at me and grabed me and hit me not hard but it was a hit and i just brust out in tears cause u can only take so much and he just wanted to leave my house when i was there in tears it really hurts i know. when were fighting he will say some of the most horrible things but a hour later his saying he loves me and he isnt out to hurt me he doesnt wanna hurt me But HELLOO look what u just did to me . I think u should just take your trip see if u can work it out where ever your going tell him how he made u feel and how it is killing u inside. Good Luck sweetie. If u need anymore advice feel free to email me cause i know what ur going through
2006-09-02 08:52:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just need to move on. there are better people out there that deserve you. You deserve to be treated like the person you are(a good one). You sound like you cater to him alot and from now one you need to start doing stuff for yourself that make you happy and will be appreciated for it. Sometimes people will explode in anger as a way of controlling someone. He is like a bully and needs to keep people down to feel better about himself. Money should not be a deciding factor your mental health and happiness should be. It does not sound like a healthy relationship and I would end it now. I would not take that crap from nobody because I feel I deserve better and you need to start feeling that way also. Remember you do not deserve to be treated like second class in the relationship or even a friendship. Time to move on.....
2006-09-01 18:00:47 · answer #7 · answered by cyborg_2099 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stop taking it personally first of all. You husband's anger may be directed at you but it stems from pent up anger likely going all the way back to childhood hurt. In order to get over his anger your husband will have to face the truth and admit his hurt. Only then can he begin the slow process of expressing his anger to those who actually caused it, or simply forgiving them by admitting that he was partly to blame for the trouble or his reaction to it, and to finally forgive himself, because he is a good person, because he feels bad. The guilt and subsequent depression will lift and the anger will subside to reasonable, manageable levels. This book helped me a lot and I got rid of most of my road rage, though I still sometimes yell at my wife, but I'm working on it.
2006-09-01 17:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez, if I was going on vacation I would be stoked, not pissed off and angry. However being with him for long-term can be very damaging to your health. I don't see why you would put up and deal with all this stress for some dipshit asshole where there are tons of dudes out there who would be very willing to treat you well and take care of you.
Perhaps you are attracted to the "bad boy" image and you like being treated like shlt. If that is the case I don't feel sorry for you one bit.
2006-09-01 17:45:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not in a loving relationship...... and YOU know it.
Cancel the trip, cancel the relationship, find someone who treats you well....
and if you are contemplating marriage at some point, make sure that the two of you are looking the same direction and not just at each other.
2006-09-01 17:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away from this guy. You cannot find someone to truly appreciate you as long as you stay and take the abuse. You planned the trip...if you also paid for it...take your mom, your sis or a good friend instead of the jerk who will ruin your vacation anyway
2006-09-01 17:44:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋