I need a good laugh. 10 points for best.
2006-09-01 17:35:17 · 16 answers · asked by Ned B 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Politics
Heres a few
Question - What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
Answer -A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
Question - What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President?
Answer -A competent liberal President.
Question - Who was the first liberal Democrat?
Answer -Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going,got there not knowing where he was,left there not knowing where he’d been and did it all on borrowed money.
Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light Bulb?
A: At least ten, as they will need to have a discussion about whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.
Q:How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A:None. Liberals wouldn’t actually change the light bulb, but they would show compassion for it by talking a lot about how terrible it is in the dark and more funding is needed to improve dim, 60 watt bulbs up to bright and productive 100 watt bulbs.
Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Let George Bush fix it! It’s his fault it’s dark anyway!
2006-09-01 18:28:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Justice William O. Douglas was a joke.
~~~~~~~~
"He never liked the cities of the East, and, when he was able to do so later in his life, he returned as often as possible to his summer home in Goose Prairie [Washington], not far from the area he had grown to love as a boy. In fact, his dislike for New York was so great that he dissented from a Supreme Court opinion denying a business-expense deduction for the winner of a sales award who had been brought to the city for a round of meetings and sightseeing. He disagreed with the Court's view that the weekend in New York was a valuable form of compensation on grounds that no sensible person would willingly spend a weekend there if he or she could spend it elsewhere. The New York Herald Tribune replied: 'Now these are hot days, not to mention trying times, in New York, and when a Supreme Court Justice begins picking on us, it requires all our sang-froid and philosophic outlook to shrug it off. After all, we could mention that New York does have a pretty good farm (in the zoo), several sets of woods (Central or Prospect Parks), and seashore galore (from Coney to City Island). ... Anyhow, Judge, why don't we conclude that ... there are times when even a Supreme Court Justice wishes he could go climb a mountain, or a tree, or something. As a matter of fact, we were just going to suggest it.' "
2006-09-02 00:40:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, if you take any subject (any subject at all) and poll 100
Republicans (conservatives) and 100 Democrats (liberals) you are going to find that some in each group are in agreement.
This divide between Republicans and Democrats or Liberals and Conservatives is just plains ludicrous ... no two people hold the same exact views on 100 percent of all the topics, all the time.
Stop the name calling, baiting and hatred.
2006-09-02 00:40:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/
Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
2006-09-02 10:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Liberal and a Genie
A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?" The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous enough to share your good fortune." The liberal said, "I'm a liberal. I'm always happy to share." The genie said, "O.K., then, whatever you wish for, I'll give every conservative in the country two of it. What's your first wish?" "I would like a new sports car." "O.K., you've got it, and every conservative in the country gets two sports cars. What's your second wish?" "I'd like a million dollars." "O.K., you get a million dollars, every conservative gets two million dollars. What's your third and final wish?" "Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."
2006-09-02 01:32:48 · answer #5 · answered by Rick 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why did the Liberal cross the road?
To get his @!@# out of the chicken...
I know it's supposed to be pervert, but what the hell is the difference?
2006-09-02 00:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by Slap Happy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
hahaha i like lucky2bealive's...
i think he should get it. I'm a liberal but i think we all need to laugh at ourselves...
2006-09-02 00:44:47 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Liberal Schedule:
Wake up. Hug tree or terrorist.
Quick breakfast of Wheaties w/ banana and unborn fetuses, stem cells spread on toast.
Get dressed in hemp suit.
Miscellaneous worship of false idols.
Drive to methadone clinic in hybrid car; 30% electric, 70% Bible furnace.
Receive methadone. Sell for pot.
Catch up on a little reading: Torah, Koran, Book of Mormon, other books not The Bible.
Stop on way to welfare office to drown puppies.
Pickup welfare check.
Cash check.
Buy more pot.
Miscellaneous Sodomy.
Light lunch of sushi and stem cell pie, plus cappuccino, at upscale coffee shop.
Stop at nearest cemetery to bleach flags on veterans' graves.
Miscellaneous coveting.
Steal babies, throw them from bridge.
Bomb a church.
Meeting with Jews for instructions on what news stories to run today.
Formal dinner/fundraiser of virgin Christian sacrifice. Guest speakers Michael Moore, Al Franken and Charles Darwin.
Smoke cigars lit by a burning pictures of Jesus
Infiltrate the school system to attract impressionable young student to the homosexual lifestyle.
Miscellaneous taking the Lord's name in vain.
Smoke pot.
Giggle for about twenty minutes.
Order pizza with extra cheese and stem cells.
Pay pizza man in food stamps.
Watch Real Time with Bill Maher.
Bedtime snack of nachos with three kind of cheese and peppers. No stem cells, watching weight.
Miscellaneous dishonor of mother and father.
Early bedtime, need rest for tomorrow's All-Day Sodomy Fest.
2006-09-02 00:43:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Ted Kennedy, Altho I dont personally know him...
2006-09-02 00:41:01 · answer #9 · answered by TLJaguar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just listening to them makes me laugh.
2006-09-02 00:38:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋